a Time for Gaia - a Time for Gaia by Calvin Sidjaja

Living in world full of ignorant people has its consequences. People looking for apology for our dying planet. WWF, my friends, these environmentalists talking about it everywhere. At saturday, turn off your light or unnecessary appliances. Love your earth, love Gaia. Give 60 minutes for Gaia, the mother earth.

I knew a lot of people just gave a cold, pessimistic look to the ads. Many said it’s too late, the earth dying, along with our conscience. Earth hour is placebo effect they said. We would feel good because we want to feel we have done something good.

Saturday was a day off. No school for me. Headmistress of my school in St. Lucas, Fransisco Clements, said to her students yesterday that it’s just one hour. Turn off your light, tv, radio, and internet, feel you are saving your mother, saving her womb being torn from ignorant, ungrateful dwellers who hate their mother. Feel you are part of this universe, she said.

It’s almost the time. I turned off my electricity, my father and my mother weren’t at home, so I could turn off all the lights in my house. I hope burglars thought twice entering my house, because I will just release Crystal, my cute Cerberus…err I mean my Rottweiler in the park, she had delivered some trespassers into hospitals last week.

I relaxed at bed, not too comfortable with the complete darkness. No sound, no light, no air conditioner, complete serenity. I gazed upon the sky, the stars looked brilliant. It has been long time since last time I saw stars at Jakarta’s sky. Other days, you only could see nothing but darkness, thanks to smokes produced by non-stop working factories.
I began to feel sleepy. Maybe it’s good idea to let myself lulled into world of dream. I yawned and closed my eyes.
…
…

Just as I thought, my mind won’t let me sleep peacefully. I saw myself floating in the great stream of light, floating from my house, the sky, and… the earth. I could saw the milky way, the sun and its children, the planets.
It’s must be a dream, I never experienced this before. I felt my mind had altered into higher consciousness I never felt before.

A sensation of being everywhere, but also nowhere.

The planets suddenly rotating faster, I gasped. It’s like watching a fast-forwarded video. The twirl stopped after awhile. Then I saw the blue planet like never before.
Did my eyes deceive me? It’s hard to illustrate. I remembered my earth was blue but it’s gray instead. Thick, gray cloud covered the entire earth.

I stepped upon the planet that was once paradise. No trees were there. Only dry lands, and buildings, covered in massive size of protective glass.

I was wrong again, there was no atmosphere at all. The earth had lost the skin of its womb. But perhaps, these clouds saved them from direct exposure of Sun?

Then I realized, I stood in a sad, empty world that was once earth or Gaia, the mother of human being. It was a sad world, place without human. The buildings were none that I ever seen.
Towers were everywhere, equipped with advance technology that far beyond the period I was living. Most of the buildings almost destroyed because corrosion caused by the endless acid rain.

Then I felt sudden loneliness, I wanted to get out from this lonely, empty world. This place didn’t belong for me. It’s not my Gaia. Let me out, let me out! Universe, if you could hear my cry, please let me wake up from this terrible nightmare! Let me out from this deceptive prison of mind!

…sad.

Huh? I swear I heard a cry. Was there voice I just heard?

…rry…

My mind felt a wave of emotion. Full of sorrow, grief, guilty, and sadness. Someone still alive in that lonely world. I fly again, searching for life, the source of voice that interrupted me in the great loneliness .

…am… rry…

My consciousness drifted me to an isle of an archipelagic islands. Most of the islands had been covered with ocean. It was the island that once floating continent where god lived before men were thought about words.

At the very center of the island, I saw a doll, a doll fashioned from the creator of this world. The doll was half-dead, almost lifeless, but he was still there, full of bitter, guilt, sadness.

Doll, broken doll, tell me, why are you crying? Why do you feel sad? I asked it.

…lty… guilty…

The half-dead doll’s thought reached to my mind.

Anachronistic images played in my mind, this time, I saw various memories of people living in Gaia.

The world was once beautiful, said the memory. But then, came time when earth was worn out. Mankind have slaughtered the last tree of life, the children of Gaia, the very foundation of the womb they were living in.

One day, a woman hated her life, her world, the dying Gaia. She prayed to universe in hope that everything will return the Oneness, the place where ‘I’ also ‘you’, ‘you’ also ‘I’, because everyone is everything, and everything was in them.

Residing in that doll, a spirit of universe that heard the prayer of that woman. He came to Gaia to fulfill a selfish wish of one woman, oblivious that mankind still struggle to live despite the harsh and hopelessness in the dying planet.

Then there came time when he triggered a fatal mistake.
A mistake he regretted for more than ten aeons. ten thousand years.

One man took over his unearthly body, and used it to return mankind into a single oneness, a world without individuality, a world where everyone is no different than water, fire, wind, and earth.

But it was ironic, the doll thought, because mankind didn’t wish to return to such static condition. However they had turned into man-eating omnivores, they just wanted to live and had learned their lesson from destroying the mother earth.


Then I felt a terrible sadness. I am too, a part of the statistic that doll called as mankind. Perhaps, I also took the role bringing the end of Gaia.

The doll kept muttering his regret. He wished to be forgiven, he wished everything wasn’t happened, for he didn’t intend to born and bringing the end of humanity regardless of humanity had brought end of Gaia. Mankind had learned their lesson, they regretted it, but they couldn’t do anything because it was too late.

I was tongue-tied, I wish I could say he was forgiven. But no, suddenly, someone covered my mouth.

It was Idris-Megistus, the Shepherd of Mind. I struggled as he pull my body away from the half-broken doll. My words were left unspoken. How I wished I could say he was forgiven so he won’t cry anymore for another ten thousand years.

I floated beyond the dying Gaia, exploding sun, the unrest motion of the celestial bodies forming the milky way, I found the exit door at the corner of the tiny universe. A door that led to corridor of mind.

I stood again at that place. The usual place filled with thousand doors.

“Idris-Megistus, why did you stop me? That half-broken doll has been crying for ten thousand years. Have you no pity? He asked to be forgiven, all he was looking for was a comfort from someone, that he was forgiven, and it wasn’t his fault that brought the end of planet” I said.

“Son, what you have seen, might or might not happen, for what you just saw is an unformed probability in the Realm of Time, something that was uncertain.” Said Idris-Megistus.

“Might or might not happen? Did you imply that was… dream?” I asked him back.

“Don’t ask me, for I’m also wondering. This is the first time Idris-Megistus saw that sad memory of universe, full of sadness, grief, and bitterness. Tell me son, was dweller of the Mammonic Kingdom began to realize their world was nothing but perishable place, so they deliberately destroyed it over period of time?” asked Idris-Megistus.

“No, you are wrong. Although the world was nothing but perishable world, it was womb we were born from. Even if you said it was Kingdom of Mammon, an inferior creation of wicked creator, there was happiness. There was not only oppression, there was also good things came living as human!” I protested.

“If you love Gaia, the one in your language called Earth, than how come it ended dying? Does mankind hate the children of Gaia? The trees of life that are foundation of your world?” said Idris-Megistus, looked confused.

“No, we don’t. Some people destroyed, some people realized earth is dying… but it doesn’t mean everyone is ignorant. No, there are still people who care for our mother earth.” I replied.

“But then, if you love your mother earth, perhaps you could explain why wind, sea, land, and cloud came to despise you? Could you explain why men keep slaughtering the children of Gaia?” said Idris-Megistus.

“That’s… even I… couldn’t possibly answer.” Tongue-tied again. This is one-way conversation. All denials would probably proof I was being hypocrite. Idris was right, if mankind loved Gaia, why they were killing the trees of life? For these are what what make men alive, the foundation of living cycle.

“Let me tell you son, about duality of life. There was time when men lived in floating continent. They spoke the sacred language commanded your realm. Everything they said would come true, for the world was inferior to them. But here’s the first mistake. Men fell from their grace. They called themselves as the only gods, and being ignorance of the origin of their mind, their soul. The floating continent fell from the sky, and shaped the land of the world you are currently living on. Their brain degenerated, they forgot how to speak their language, the world shall not obey anymore, for they are now less inferior than world itself. But do you know son? Kingdom of Mammon just like you said, not a mere place without happiness. For Kingdom of Mammon also called Gaia, the Earth. She loved mankind, aided them, thought them as her children. But men were not satisfied. Gaia was full of goodness, so they build tools to enjoy her goodness. Men evolved, thought that their tools were for goodness of men, and also goodness of Gaia, but know this, for these tools have led to destruction of themselves, for in the beginning of time they were not supposed to be invented. Men kept using with their tools, being unaware that Gaia was crying, all the time. She began to rot with blood of her children. Do you understand the meaning of this story, son?” asked Idris-Megistus.

“Men and tools… it… it sounds just like mankind and technology.” I replied.

“Exactly. Living in Gaia was full of hardship, men invented tools to assist their life. But they grew dependant of these tools, forgetting they once live without tools. They love Gaia, but that tools were poison for her. Now I ask you. Was it wrong decision men invented tools to make their life easier even though it would kill their mother earth?” asked Idris-Megistus.

“I… I don’t know. But it’s wrong! Gaia loved mankind didn’t she? Why do men keep using tools while aware that it was poison for the earth?” I asked.

“Son, open your eyes. Open your mind. You should now begin to realize, it was simply choice. This is result of consequences. Men have decided not to regret when inventing the tools or poisoning Gaia, it was their decision, whether it was right or wrong, it’s their decision to destroy or not to destroy, therefore they don’t regret.” said Idris-Megistus.

“Men… don’t… regret?” I gasped.

“Men are rational animal. When one need to destroy, they shall destroy. Without tools, men can’t live, therefore they decided to use them however it is pain for Gaia. Do you understand son? Gaia’s End is near, but everyone obviously oblivious, because they are prepared, they know it was their decision to destroy or not to destroy. Men destroy without regret because they know their consequence.” Idris continued.

Men destroy… without regret? Has mankind devolved? If I think clearly, it makes sense. Yes, it’s probably answer why Gaia is dying. We destroy because we aware of the consequence.

“Son, we shall end our conversation now. Remember, Gaia is also called Mammon. She is full of warmth, but also oppression. If you destroy, you could think you are killing your mother or killing the dictator. It’s all left to your viewpoint, whether you want to see earth as home or as perishable pathetic place.” Said Idris.
The world of mind collapsed. My body fell to the darkness below. The prison of mind has released me from its deceptive jail.

***

I opened my eyes. Still darkness. It was still earth hour.

I gazed again upon the window, listening to the sound of silence. Trying to understand and grasp the reason why men keep poisoning Gaia, their mother, and hunting her children, the trees.
I realized I was nothing but a hypocrite. Because I’m also part of the parasite that live in this earth and sucking its life.

Maybe it won’t be too long to come. There is duality of everything. Men need technology and technology is poison of Gaia. The End of Gaia is near, we all know the consequence of cause and effect.
I, and you, and the rest of mankind, we are the very poison of the earth. But we can’t live without poisoning our great mother.

This is reality of the world.
The End of Gaia is near.

Here.

Sunday March, 29 2009
A Memory of Gaia