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The untitled story! - Jake by ♠Miriam♠ I (nuff said)
chapters
chapter 1:
Jake
chapter 2:
Eliza
chapter 3:
Operation get Eliza to like me
chapter 4:
The apology!
chapter 5:
The "talk"
chapter 6:
The date
Jake
chapter 1
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updated Jul 29, 2009
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2304 characters
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34 people liked this writing
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28 reviews of this writing
It was the Sunday before the first day of high school. Jake was psyched to be going to his new school. Jake just loved new things. So anyway, he laid down on his bed and thought about all the possibilities. I can make new friends, learn new subjects, and best of all meet some cute gi-- Jake's thought's were vanished when his big brother walked in. His brother's name was Brian. Brian was a senior in highschool. He was 17, three years older than Jake. He was about average height for a guy his age and he had the bluest eyes you've ever seen, right next to Jake's.
"What you doing bro?" Brian asked while sitting down on Jake's bed.
"Just thinking." Jake said as he got into a sitting position.
"About..?"
"School. Everything that can happen. I'm so psyched!"
"Wow I haven't seen you this happy since... well.. since we moved here!" Brian chuckled.
Jake laughed. "Yeah, I know! Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure. Anything for my lil bro." Brian said.
"How was your experience of being the new kid like at your school?" Jake asked.
"Well," his older brother got a thoughtful look on his face, "It was not that bad... who am I joking, it was AWESOME!" Brian beemed. "I made a lot of friends easily and the girls just could not stop staring at me! It's probably because of my charming boyish good looks." All the while putting his hands through his silk blond hair. Brian was more cocky than Jake and he was proud of it.
Jake laughed. "Wow you sure had a good school experience."
"Yeah I sure did, and I loved every bit of it!" Brian said with pride as he left Jake's room.
Jake fell asleep then and there. The next morning he woke up right on time. He went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, took a shower, and then dressed up. He wore his favorite shirt that brought out his blue eyes, and his skinny jeans with some sneakers. He combed his silk blond hair in the way some cowboys wore it. He slung his back pack over his shoulder and stood in front of the mirror. He snapped his fingers pointing to the mirror and said, "Looking good!"
He went to school and walked the halls confidently. As he walked past a gaggle of girls in the hallway they all started to "Oooooh" and "Aaaaah". Jake loved all the attention and then went to his first class.
back to top
"What you doing bro?" Brian asked while sitting down on Jake's bed.
"Just thinking." Jake said as he got into a sitting position.
"About..?"
"School. Everything that can happen. I'm so psyched!"
"Wow I haven't seen you this happy since... well.. since we moved here!" Brian chuckled.
Jake laughed. "Yeah, I know! Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure. Anything for my lil bro." Brian said.
"How was your experience of being the new kid like at your school?" Jake asked.
"Well," his older brother got a thoughtful look on his face, "It was not that bad... who am I joking, it was AWESOME!" Brian beemed. "I made a lot of friends easily and the girls just could not stop staring at me! It's probably because of my charming boyish good looks." All the while putting his hands through his silk blond hair. Brian was more cocky than Jake and he was proud of it.
Jake laughed. "Wow you sure had a good school experience."
"Yeah I sure did, and I loved every bit of it!" Brian said with pride as he left Jake's room.
Jake fell asleep then and there. The next morning he woke up right on time. He went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, took a shower, and then dressed up. He wore his favorite shirt that brought out his blue eyes, and his skinny jeans with some sneakers. He combed his silk blond hair in the way some cowboys wore it. He slung his back pack over his shoulder and stood in front of the mirror. He snapped his fingers pointing to the mirror and said, "Looking good!"
He went to school and walked the halls confidently. As he walked past a gaggle of girls in the hallway they all started to "Oooooh" and "Aaaaah". Jake loved all the attention and then went to his first class.
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(34 people liked this writing)
reviews of this writing
chapter 1 review
Christa & ?
said:
"
It's cool. The names are a tad bit common and it could use a little more detail, but otherwise then you've got a great story line down, and your gram…more
"
chapter 2 review
Luna
said:
"
It reminded me of Twilight!
4 out of 5 stars!
Tell me when you wite more!!PLEASE!!
-Max "
4 out of 5 stars!
Tell me when you wite more!!PLEASE!!
-Max "
chapter 2 review
Ayesha
said:
"
Hmm...maybe you should make her not so willing. Like add a twist; maybe she could not like his big ego.
"
chapter 4 review
techno
said:
"
That isa good story please don't stop I want to hear what happens next
"
chapter 4 review
☠☼Serena☼☠
said:
"
ttoo fasstttttt
slow it down a bit! waste a chapter on how she wouldnt let him hold her hand
and then she gives in
idk make it LONGGERRRR …more "
slow it down a bit! waste a chapter on how she wouldnt let him hold her hand
and then she gives in
idk make it LONGGERRRR …more "
chapter 4 review
Foolish
said:
"
Very good. The story was too cute, and i love how shy Eliza is and how outgoing Jake is. It almost reminds me of Troy and Gabriella's personalities. :…more
"
chapter 6 review
Taylor (gray skies)
said:
"
ahhhhh, love it is there more there so has to be u just cant leave it like that keep writing :)
"
"
chapter 6 review
Karenn
said:
"
It's cute, but kinda for middle school, not high school. In high school, ya probably kno more bout girls and other stuff. Pls continue!
"



















