I Googled you so I know you don't really like me.I Googled you so now I know you're homophobic. I Googled you so I know you have a problem with black-identified Jewish lesbians who drive Saabs. I Googled you and I saw you have a bad reputation with amateur schnauzer fanciers. I Googled you and your students give you bad grades on your humanity. I Googled you and saw the court transcripts on the "swimming pool" incident with the thirteen year old. I Googled you and your email and found your weekend tricks. I Googled you and know you're a maniac.I Googled you and know where you live. I Googled you and just did a satellite aerial surveillance of your backyard and just saw your wife go into the shed with your neighbor.I Googled you and saw your Facebook account and found you added all my exes. I Googled you and saw you were a Mennonnite but couldn't take the pressure. I Googled you and found your "satisfied customer" comments at BarelyLegalBullets.com I Googled you and found at Classmates.com you were voted "Most Likely to Turn Sniper."I Googled you because I won't sleep at night if you don't like me.I Googled you because I think you're sort of sexy. I Googled you because I think I have the same stomach tumor you do. I Googled you because I wondered if you've found a name for your pathology yet.I Googled you because I think your lips are hot in that blue gourami way. I Googled you because I wanted to know if anybody else realizes you're a sex object.I Googled you because we're both going to die which means we will have to stop arguing obliquely. I Googled you because you won't speak to me. I Googled you because there isn't much time left. I Googled you because I wanted directions to the cemetery closest to you. I Googled you because I wanted to invite you to a midnight picnic there. I Googled you because I forgot why. I Googled you because this is what we do now. I Googled you because I was afraid. I Googled you because you don't really exist, but maybe you do. I Googled you because I had a nightmare about you crawling through my window with a laptop and a knife. I Googled you because you seem to have a great way of making friends by remaining coldly silent. I Googled you because there was nothing else to do. I Googled you because you seemed like you needed a hug or a firearm. I Googled you because it was the best I could do. I Googled you because Google said I should. I Googled you and that is the end of a story that needs no beginning.