When you’re sad you cry, when you’re happy you laugh. Life teaches you these. What they leave out, is love. This new emotion was overwhelming. No words could describe it. I have seen the other girls walk around with their boyfriends, but this was totally different.
I cried that night. Not because I was sad, but because I was helpless and confused. Why would Ian love such a sad girl like me? My life was pathetic.
The depression drew me to my love. One moment I was lying in bed, the next, I was at my music stand with my violin. A melody played through my hands. I lifted the bow. The song played by itself. It flowed slow and dramatic and gradually picked up speed.
After a few minutes of improvising the song, I realized what I was doing. Immediately, I flew to my orchestra notebook and ripped out a blank sheet of staff paper.
Deep into the night, I composed. I was tired from work, but the final product was a success. It was complex but beautiful. The tune was depressing. I was depressed. That fit. Not many things do in my life.