Gumption

The conquistador that hung out at Henderson's lunch counter was over four hundred fifty years old when I was a kid. He had come to Florida with Ponce De Leon to find the Fountain of Youth, and from his cobwebby beard and the pins and metal hinges in every joint that squeaked when he walked, it was easy to see that he hadn't. Then, he eagerly joined Cortez in search of El Dorado and since Henderson's lunch counter was the worst food in town, it was easy to see that he hadn't. He was a local legend, a pathetic gag and broken down waste of human life. So, too us kids, he was vulnerable and a perfect target.
My friend Pete and I sat right within earshot of the old man and we loudly discussed a plan to seek out El Delicioso, the mysterious City of Tacos in the most remote part of Argentina. We marveled over streets paved in beef, tortilla castles and rains of monterey jack cheese. Sure enough, the gullible conquistador,(as conquistadors tended to do) went off in search of the implausible and bafflingly stupid local legend. There were times when we felt kind of bad about sending him out like that as we grew older, but we had other things to worry about. Pete was killed in Nam, I ran two marriages and two restaurants into the ground and life was generally harsh for us, as if futility was some kind of virus and we'd caught it from the man we'd rendered just a little bit more futile.
The other day as I sat alone, tying a noose in my low income bachelor pad because my son never calls, I was roused from suicide by a knock on the door. I didn't recognize him, since he wasn't wearing his customary helmet/breastplate combo and he looked a youthful three hundred and ten.I thought I knew who it might be, but I was taken aback when he hugged me tight, tears streaming down his slightly less worn face.
"Thank you! Thank you so much!" the conquistador sobbed with joy.
"For what?"
"For telling me that old legend. I feel a bit guilty for jumping your claim, but I was desperate and I had to check it out. Don't you read the papers?"
I didn't. Not even the sports page.
"I'm a billionaire! I've been nominated for a Nobel Prize for feeding Africa with the vast meat supplies of El Delicioso! It is a grand place..."
I'm sure there's a lesson in all of this, but I don't have time to think about it.Fuck it. I'm old and he gave me stock.