The Amazing Davin McDurrin

( :( please forgive the lack of basic formatting, as it doesn't show up on this site --- Rating: PG-13, violence and mild inuendo )

Fireworks

Jordan, Mid-Western Tennessee, July 4th, 1867



Davin stumbled over the chair and into the woman’s chest, face first. Her breathless “Oo!” was followed by a quick slap to the face.
“My, dear!” Davin took his hat off apologetically. “I dare say, I am sorry to have intruded upon your most delightful bosom! I humbly request to give a most sincere apology!” Davin gracefully lifted the woman’s hand to his lips while he continued, “But, I must say, a more finer bosom into which I have dived does not exist! It only perks the imagination at what beauty God hath sculpted ‘neath that fhhiiiine corset!”
“You, devil!” Her scream was followed by a louder snap of laced glove across bare face.
Davin, now holding air rather than hand, Gently rubbed his swelled cheek, “My dear, I lay my life before your feet in another, more sincere apology. I ‘ave no idea what could’ve come over me.” The saloon was full of murmurs, though Davin didn’t seem to notice.
“I’ll tell you what came over you in about ten minutes,” a man who stank and spoke like a pig breathed down upon the black suited figure, “‘bout five hundred pounds of dirt for besmirchin’ my woman.”
Davin looked back up with a modicum of surprise afforded to the situation. He gently tugged at his white collar when he viewed the ever so polished barrels of two revolvers. One, pointed at his groin, the other, pointed at his neck.
“Now, sir, I’ve had a leave of my senses in this hot sun, but please do note that meant no disrespect when I... unforgivably, uhh, proclaimed God’s perfection of work under your wife’s, uh...,” the man cocked the gun pointed at Davin’s groin, “... bodice.” He gently tapped the other gun with his left finger, while massaging the red-ornamental design sewn into the edges of his suit with his other hand, “Sir, we are civilized people, livin’ in a civilized world. Shooting me in the groin in-front of this bar-full of people will not satisfy anybody’s honor! Let me make it up to you–,”
“No drink in the world can save you,” The man bumped one of his guns against Davin’s chest, “Now get outside ‘fore I blow a hole in your chest.”
“Sir, if it’s a duel you want, I’ve seen your poker game. It seems, uh, only fittin',” Davin casually maneuvered himself so each time he was pushed toward the door, there was someone else standing behind him. “... that you besmirch my honor, by promptly whoopin’ me in a game of cards! A card duel, sir,” Davin sounded frantic as he neared the door, soon there would be no bystanders left to protect him from the gun. The man, hesitated.
“Ain’t no amount of money will buy you your freedom.”
“I do-don’t mean to give you money, sir,” the second gun was cocked and shoved into his nose, “As you said, honor has no price! When I lose, and I’ve seen you play, I will surely lose, I’ll stand in the middle of the street with nothin’ but what god bestowed upon me at birth proclaiming how I have wrong you and your lovely wife! Begging for forgiveness!” They stopped moving, “After all, signing off my dignity would surely be worth more to you than my death, and it costs less than the price of those bullets!”
“What if you win?”
“If I win? Surely, sir, if I should win five games out of seven–,”
“It’s five out of eight!” One of the crowed called, giving the gun toting man a rough smile across his smooth face.
“The sun has baked his mind!”
“Poker Duel!” members of the crowd chanted.
“As I was sayin’,” Davin gave an embarrassed laugh, as he reached under his hat to brush back his hair, “Should I win five out of eight games, I only request to apologize to your wife in a public place of my choosin’, with all my clothes on, so that all may hear of my personal disgrace!”
The room was quiet as the man though it over. Several minutes passed before the two revolver hammers clicked.
“Alright. I’ll be sportin’.”
Davin immediately removed a deck of black cards, trimmed with a red design around the backing, before taking off his coat. “My game is a simple one. Three cards to draw, one each turn after till five. No Discards. Single Card Kitty placed face down on the table. Pairs, Three of a Kind, Flush, Full house, Four of a kind are the scores. We’ll play by, uh,” in the corner of his eye, Davin saw the bartender begin the betting pool,”.. How about public wager! If’in you fold on a hand, the winning betters only get half the pot.”
“Yeah,” the man snorted, “How do I know you ain’t pullin’ some trick.”
“Who do you trust more, the Padre or the Sheriff?” Davin answered the man’s question by rolling up the sleeves of his white shirt.
“Padre’s fine.”
“Padre, you sit behind me and watch my hand like an eagle,” Davin’s gesture was answered with a nod. “Now, sir, all I ask is your name.”
“My name’s Samuel Hampton.”
“I look forward to apologizin’ to you and your lovely wife.” As the three move to a table, the game began. Davin ever smiling with a worried look, as the Padre took a seat behind him.
“These cards are wholly unique, there is no other deck like them!” Davin held the back of the cards to crowd, “I ask that we use them to insure no accidental inclusion of outside cards.”
“If there is a design like those, I’ve never seen them!” The bartender bellowed.
“They look unique to me, and I’ve been in saloons since before you were born,” the aging sheriff stepped up from the crowd.
“Before I finish these cards, will you please inspect these backs and look for any marks,” Davin handed the cut-throat Samuel his deck of cards. Ten minutes passed. Each card was flipped over and reviewed, three times over, before Samuel handed the deck to the priest. Another five minutes passed.
“I see nothing wrong with these cards,” the priest announced, “I swear upon my holy book that I have seen all manner of marked cards, and used all manner of marked cards for, the lord’s work,” the crowed laughed with the Padre’s statement, “But I have not seen any trick of light or mark on these cards that suggests they are marked.”
“Get on with it,” Samuel snapped his finger at Davin. The light colored shirt revealed to Samuel that nothing lay within. “But the Padre deals.”
The first draw was smooth. Samuel cut the cards, while the Padre dealt. Davin smiled as he looked at his three cards.
“I will stay in the game. You, sir?”
“I’m stayin’.”
The bartender collected another round of bets from the citizens, before the Padre dealt each their fourth card. “Second draw,” the Padre announced.
“I–,” Davin didn’t get to finish his sentence before Samuel placed his left hand over the middle of the table, then laid his four aces face up.
“Cordin’ to your rules, I win.”
The crowd cheered and moaned on cue, while odds money was being distributed. Davin just gave a half-smirk, noticing the bartender began drawing up a more detailed odds sheet for the second hand.
“That you did, sir. That you did.”
The second hand was just as tense, but far shorter. As he received his third card, two of hearts, three of spades and the king of diamonds, Samuel laid his hand down with a proclamation, “I fold, I ain’t havin’ nobody make money off your victory.” Gasps sucked the room of breathable air, and Davin could only surmise it was due to the idiot smile on his face. A smile gained from a pair of twos.
“Alright,” Davin smiled, as he placed his cards face down on the deck for the Padre to shuffle.
“So, tell me Samuel,” Davin spoke slow and calm, as he gained two fours and a five, “How long have you and your lovely wife known each other?”
“Two months,” he grunted at the pair of sixes and king in his hand.
“And you only just met? I heard you’ve been on the trail for nine weeks since–,” Davin received another four.
“She’s from good stock, and the Honorable Judge Ben Hickenson believes us to be a perfect match!” Samuel took a Jack for his fourth.
“A judge? I’ll be, a match-makin’ judge,” Davin smirked, re-arranging his hand as a ten came sliding down from the deck.
“Her father,” Samuel grunted, “He and I go way back.” He received a third six.
“I’m sure,” Davin smiled at the Padre, “Since you’ve only just come into town, I take it you’ve only just–,”
“Just what?” Samuel barked, itching for his guns.
“I merely stating I saw a wedding party bandstand up, and–,”
Samuel slapped his hand down on the table with a loud crack, “Just get on and ask it so we can play the damned game!”
“You only just married today?”
“Damn straight, and you’ll ne’er find a happier match!” Samuel snapped his fingers at the Padre to flip the Kitty over, after revealing his hand, “Three Sixes, King and a Jack!”
“Three Fours, a Five and a Ten,” Davin watched the Padre reveal the Kitty with a grin on his face, “And another Five makes a full house!”
The crowd boomed. Both contestants so close to a full house each, only to have Davin take a five from the Kitty. Samuels grunting nearly turned to a sneer.
“I look forward to proclaiming your newly found wife’s integrity and my shameful behavior to the collective citizens of this town!” Davin’s grin gave the crowd what it wanted, as he continued to calm Samuel with a proclamation of his wife’s purity.
Fourth hand was rife with silence. Neither spoke, as the Padre announced the deal. When it came to the fifth draw, Samuel slammed his fist down on the table.
“You first!” He grunted. Davin complied.
“I’m afraid I do have nothing, sir,” Davin revealed a five of clubs, a three of diamonds, a seven of spades, an eight of spades, a jack of hearts.
“Har!” Samuel laughed. “Three aces!” He lay down three aces face up, leaving two others face down. “Kitty!” He snapped his fingers at the padre, who revealed a five. The crowd went wild.
“At least,” Davin placed his hand over the deck, “Sir, I attest to your skill, but would you deny me the honor of viewing the two cards you have concealed?” With a grunt, Samuel flipped his cards over to reveal two fives.
“Maybe I should resign my clothing right now,” Davin laughed, “That’s twice in a row you’ve had three sixes, sir, I do not see me winning against your luck!”
“Yeah,” Samuel sneered, “Maybe it’s a message for a sinner like you!”
The fifth hand was barely audible against the howls of laughed and black puns of the devil taking a hand in the game of chance. The duelists waited for several minutes for the crowd to die down, before dealing the fourth card. Davin himself called for a pitcher of water, while rubbing his sore, tanned neckline.
Finally, when it appeared the game had left the quiet behind, the Padre decided to deal the fourth, and fifth cards.
Samuel snorted as he tossed down two threes, a four, a two, and a six. “Lessee yours!”
Davin just shrugged, revealing three sevens and two eights. “Kitty please, Padre.” The answer to his request came in the form of a valueless King. “I do say, your mismatched Sixes lose to my pure Sevens!”
Samuel’s grunt sounded more like a growling hatred boiling to the top of a steam powered ferry ready to blow. But, no one heard it, as the howls and hollers nearly pushed his wife out from the saloon.

*

Daisy Hampton was stopped by a friendly voice, “Miss Hampton! You best stay and show Samuel your support.”
“Support? Over my dignity being argued over like a piece of raw meat! A, f-,” she shook, “A freak show at the circus?”
“Now, Miss Hampton,” The Sheriff pushed her back just a step, as he grabbed firmly to both shoulders, “Your assailant has been proclaiming your innocence and his sincerest regret throughout the game. If you leave now Samuel may forget this is a game. Do you want blood on your wedding dress?”
With a reluctant sigh, Daisy Hampton returned her attention to the game.

*

“This joker’s playing with the deck!” Samuel burst the room’s cacophony with a loud bellow, and slam of his chair against the floor. His fifth hand lay face up. Two sevens, two aces, and a four. The kitty revealed a two. Samuel immediately reached for his gun, but fumbled with it in the holster.
Davin had on his table, three fives, a nine and a ten. “Sir,” a cock of the hammer prompted Davin to close his mouth, until he realized it wasn’t the hammer of Samuel’s raising gun.
“Now, Samuel,” the Sherrif’s cool voice broke the cold silence, “Don’t make me have to do this on your weddin’ day!”
“That som’ bitch keeps countin’ my hand to the mark of Lucifer!”
“They’re only numbers,” Davin stressed. “Only numbers! You can count them out to whatever math you want to use! Look at me. You said those were a message to my sins, and I sincerely apologize! They’re only numbers, sir!”
“Come, Samuel,” Daisy’s meek voice cried out, “Come, Samuel. He’s just a fool. He’s not worth the bullet.”
Samuel raised his hand slowly, handing the gun to the Sheriff. With a rub against his stubbled beard, he pointed to the hand. “I’ve got two pair. You’ve got three of a kind. My game.”
“I’m sorry, sir,” Davin shook, almost cowering as he spoke, “But, I did not announce two pair in this game. If you would like, I can say it was just confusion, it’s your game.”
“I don’t need to cheat,” Samuel kicked the chair up and sat down with a thud. “It’s yours.”
“Miss Hampton, I do sincerely apologize. Your honor is not worth this ruckus, I am indeed sorry, I–,” Before Davin could finish standing up, Samuel barked.
“Sit down, finish the game!”
“I have a suggestion,” the Padre stood, despite the menacing pair of eyes staring him down, “Let’s have Davin’s pot be awarded to help pay for tonight’s Fourth of July Celebration! Samuel’s pot can be added to the Bride’s Dowery!”
“I’ll be happy to agree to that!” Davin saw Samuel’s mood soften, as the crowd hollered and hooted for the holy man’s proposal. With a wave of approval from the dis-interested gambler, they proceeded.
Samuel’s mood changed as he saw an ace appear in his hand, followed by second, and a third. Davin was smiling.
“Do you fold your hand, sir?”
“Keep playing,” Samuel sneered. Though, it was the fourth card that caused him to smile the widest smile anyone hand seen.
As Davin arranged his hand, he opened his mouth to offer again, only to have Samuel’s gorilla like paw grab Davin’s wrist.
“Read ‘em and weep, four aces,” his mouth sneering, smiling as he lay his cards down face up.
“I’m sorry, sir,” Davin apologized, as he took his cards one by one and snapped them face up on the table. “I am sincerely sorry, it must indeed be the exquisite heat today, for I have the only aces in this deck.” As each card snapped against wood, Samuel’s eyes dilated. One by one, four cards, with a lone symbol of each suit, stared up from the table. “You, my friend, have three honest, to god, sixes, and two fives. Four of a kind wins all!”
“You som’ bitch! You rigged the–,” but his protest wasn’t heard above the wailing crowd, and he felt the sturdy hand of the Sheriff hold him down.
“Everyone! I like to take my time now to thank Samuel for the wonderful Fourth of July celebration he and his wonderful wife have bought for you today! I would also like to take my apology to the bell tower of the savings and loan so that all may witness my admission of shame and cleanse this dear woman’s honor!” Davin released his wrist and cried to the room.
“The heat’s been getting to all of us, Samuel,” said the cool, calm voice. The room soon emptied, with a fuming Samuel left alone at the table. He thought he had seen Davin pick up all his cards, but face down where the Padre had been dealing, there lay a lone card. The infuriated gambler flipped the card over to reveal the laughing face of a clown.
“That som’ bitch!” Samuel screamed. It was done on purpose. He could almost hear laughter emanating from the card, “I’ll shove this down his damned throat!” Then he remembered, Davin was heading to the clock tower of his savings and loan.

* * * * *

“My, oh, my!” Davin brushed the dirt from his hands, before slipping on a pair of white cloth gloves, “Look at what we have here! All this chalk! And those candles are certainly a health hazard!” His remarks of the large pentagram, with burning, blood red candles propped upon half-rotten skulls seemed far inferior to the reaction one would expect.
“Oh, my lord!” The Padre’s sudden hacking into his own kerchief, was followed by the Sheriff’s own reluctance to relieve the contents of his gut upon the blood stained floor. The stench was overpowering, forcing the Sheriff to back from the room.
“Never mind about that, let’s finish what I’m here to do!”
“Praise be to the holy mother! Give us strength with which.... such a sin to cast itself upon our small town... can be fought!” The Padre murmured, as he noticed the candles had tones of flesh, their wicks never seeming to melt, it could only be the work of dark magic. There in the corner, as Davin broke open the nailed shutters that were positioned above the clock face, he saw the bodies of the clock caretaker, and his son. Almost as if they were half eaten and discarded.
“I’ve some questions for Samuel,” The Sheriff re-appeared, unnoticed until he spoke.
Davin ignored the two, preferring to move the large chest he found laying underneath the window, “God, with the weight and all the clinking comin’ from this thing, you’d think it were filled to the top with silver dollars!”
“Get away from my money!” The bellowing voice came from Samuel, as he stormed through the door like a bull.
“Son, we have–,” but before the Sheriff could finish, Samuel swung his arm with a thundering, and inflamed fist into the Sheriff’s chest.
His body’s illusion melted to the widening eyes of the Padre, while Davin just turned with a half-raised eyebrow. Samuel’s sweat covered face dripped with droplets of fire. His skin burning into a deep, crimson red, and his hard leather boots now cloven hooves covered in red hair. The cowboy dress was torn, and rotten, with images of human faces screaming from within. In his right hand, he raised a hellish looking gun, the stock made from human finger-bones, the barrel from a blackened steel that harbored a halo of red.
“I’ve been meaning to replace these two for a while, but you’re dead!” Forgetting about the card clenched in his left hand, the great horned devil fired.
The cowering Padre was blinded by the sudden flash of the brightest red, white and blue bursting forth from the demon’s left hand, engulfing his figure within an eggshell form. Samuel’s bullet passed no more than an inch from the barrel, before the split second explosion erased all evidence of his hellish body from existence. When his sight returned, he saw the room, a groaning sheriff, and a black backed card floating gently down to the floor.
“Now, I had been wonderin’ where I left this!” Davin walked over the blackened and burned paneling, where the Pentagram and demon had existed. He then bent down and picked up his card. The padre’s nerves came to a slow calm, as he looked upon the gambler’s face.
“You knew!” Looking back and forth he glanced at the card. “Black magic!”
“Son,” Davin shook his smiling face, before correcting himself, “Father! There are creatures in this world, who don’t obey god’s law, and I swear upon you, I try to obey all laws! Now, I never welched on a bet before,” he reached down to help the wary father to his feet, “... so I best be gettin’ to my proclamation!”
“Did you,” the father clutched his small bible to his chest, “Did you plan this!? My, God!” Davin sighed, more annoyed than anything at the priest, “Daisy! I wed them this afternoo–,”
“Father, unless they consummated their relationship, unless they ever had a relationship, death hath done them apart!”
“But, how!? They said... the judge!”
“Father, Padre,” Davin placed his hand on the priest with a strong shake back into reality, “Miss Daisy’s father had a lapse in judgement, and he was called upon by Sam’Uel to pay his dues, only he tried to pay on credit with Dear Daisy’s soul.” His voice now dropped to a darker, serious tone, “That’s just inhuman! Oh, and you may want to tell Miss Daisy her husband was a cattle rustler over that of a hell-beast.”
“B-but, you did know!” His eyes wide in realization, the Padre’s epiphany was ignored, as to the town’s delight, Davin made his announcement.
“I am most sincerely sorry, Miss Daisy! As you can see from the fireworks you just witnessed, I dropped a lantern into a stray pile of gunpowder! This clumsy ol’ fool nearly blew his head off tryin’ to apologize! I do believe you’ll find no one else risking his life to such a degree for a more formal apology!” Cheers and laughter overshadowed the accepting Daisy’s comments. After several more minutes, Davin turned from the window to help the Sheriff and Padre.
“Is there anything..., the lord surely works in ways unknown to man...” the Padre gripped his book, still suffering from religious and emotional shock.
“What the, uh, father means to say is, is there anyway we can repay you for this service?” The wincing Sheriff hobbled against Davin’s shoulder.
“Well, I heard Miss Perry’s Apple Pie is to die for,” Davin winked, “Would hate to miss the celebrations, considering that shipment you received from the Chinese expedition... it may be the best fireworks I’ve seen yet! But, I’m a little short...” The gambler patted his left breast pocket. With a wink, and rolled eyes, the Sheriff laughed at Davin, before slapping his back.