The Prophecy of Aedán

by ♥ Brigid ♥
886144

genre: Science Fiction & Fantasy
description:
I am currently writing this story with my friend Abby. Abby writes the odd-numbered chapters (1, 3, 5, etc.) and I write the even-numbered chapters (2, 4, 6, etc.)

15-year-olds Luke and Rayen do not know each other. But they have both been having strange dreams about another world. On the same night, they both stumble upon the portal to this world, which is called Aedán. Joined together by fate, they immediately form a strong friendship. However, they soon find out that Aedán is in danger, as evil beings called Shadows are slowly taking over. Luke and Rayen are taken in by a people called the Adahaugas, who tell the two teenagers that they might be involved in an ancient prophecy, and might have the very power that could save their world. But it might be too late already; the Shadows are growing more and more powerful each day, and the difference between Luke and Rayen's new magical abilities might turn them against each other. However, if they are somehow able to overcome these impossible obstacles, they just might be able to save Aedán.


chapters

chapter 1: The Escape (by Abby)

chapter 2: Pursuit (by Brigid)

chapter 14: Lost (by Brigid)


The Escape (by Abby)
chapter 1   —   updated 09/12/08   —   11235 characters   —   28 people liked it   —   27 reviews
It was somewhere close; that was the only thing that Rayen knew. She looked around, but couldn’t see anything. The fog was too thick. She couldn’t even see her hand in front of her nose. She didn’t know where she was or what she was trying to find, only that it was close and she needed it.

Rayen started groping around in the fog. Suddenly she tripped on something and fell heavily to the ground. She tried to feel what had tripped her, but couldn’t find it. As she felt along the ground, she had the eerie feeling that someone was watching her through the fog. She looked around to see who it was.

At first she didn’t see anything, but when she looked around again she saw a pair of yellow eyes glistening through the fog. They were moving steadily closer to where she lay frozen with fear on the ground.

Rayen sat bolt upright in her bed, dripping in sweat.

The dream had come to her many times before, but never this vividly. The yellow eyes had never been so big, and had never come that frighteningly close.

It was only a dream; she tried to reassure herself. But she still shook with terror from the yellow eyes. The fear after this dream was unlike the fear from any other dream. It was so real. When she had other dreams, she could convince herself that they hadn’t been real. But this dream always felt like it had really happened, like she had just narrowly escaped a horrible death.

Just then, as she looked up, Rayen thought, for a moment, that she saw the yellow eyes again, lurking in the corner of her bedroom. But another glance told her it was just her cat, Philly.

As usual, Philly seemed to sense that something was wrong. He instantly jumped up from his cozy corner, and crept across the room to her bed. In a swift motion, he leaped up onto the bed and began purring affectionately.

Rayen started petting him absentmindedly still thinking about her weird dream. She kept trying to tell herself it was just a dream, but she thought she could still feel the strange mist clinging to her and those yellow eyes watching her every move…

A pain in her leg brought her out of her horrible thoughts. Philly’s claws were digging into her leg, which was where the pain had come from. Except Philly wasn’t looking at his claws, he was looking at Rayen, making sure that she was okay.

“I’m okay Philly,” she reassured him. “I just had a nightmare, that’s all.” Philly butted his head against her leg affectionately. Rayen smiled; Philly always knew how to cheer her up.

“Rayen is that you?” a loud obnoxious feminine voice came from down stairs. “If you’re up, get your butt down here! There’s chores to be done!” Rayen sighed, another boring old morning.

“Rayen!” the voice from downstairs screamed.
“I’m coming!” she yelled back. Shoving the covers off the bed, Rayen slid gracefully out of her bed. She started hunting her messy room, trying to find something to wear. Her ‘family’ didn’t think she needed any more than a few pairs of clothes, so she didn’t have much to choose from. Finally finding a pair of blue jeans and a sea green T-shirt, she walked over to the mirror.
Rayen looked into the mirror. A slim tall girl looked back at her. A waterfall of straight dark brown hair fell shortly below her shoulders. Her sea green shirt made her unusual turquoise eyes stand out.

“Rayen!”

“I told you, I’m coming!” Turning her back on the mirror, Rayen trudged down the stairs toward her ‘family.’ Technically the Foesters were her family since they adopted her at the age of ten, but really they merely thought of Rayen of a slave.

Rayen entered the kitchen with her head down as Mrs. Victoria Foester dictated. Through her hair, Rayen viewed the scene with disgust. Her ‘father’ sat at the table with a cigarette in his mouth reading the morning paper. He sat slouched at the table like he was still half-asleep. Her ‘mother’ stood pacing the room also with a cigarette in her mouth. The minute Rayen stepped in the doorway, Mrs. Foester’s head snapped towards her.

“Finally, there you are,” she snapped. “Get to work.” She nodded toward the sink where at least 20 plates were stacked on top of each other. Keeping her head down Rayen walked slowly over to the sink. Mrs. Foester gave her a good hard push that knocked Rayen to the ground. Mr. Chester Foester who had looked up from his paper started laughing. Mrs. Foester smirked and gave her another kick for good measure. Rayen got up slowly. She could already feel the new bruises forming on her body. At the sink she started cleaning the dishes and the Foester couple ignored her once again.

Back at the table, both adults began reading the paper while smoking their cigarettes. Rayen couldn’t help gagging. The cigarettes’ smoke filled the room with toxic air.

“Quit your complaining, girl!” her father hissed from behind his paper. There was no use arguing. She couldn’t change their minds.

But you’ve never tried, a small voice inside her said. So what? They’d never listen to you. You’re nothing more than a slave to them, another voice argued back. So why not leave? replied the small voice.

Rayen stopped cleaning. Why not? Why not just leave? Why did she stay there day after day, never complaining? Victoria noticed her disruption.

“Keep cleaning! Do I have to come over there and make you?” That was it, Rayen couldn’t stand being with them anymore. They beat her if she did something wrong, they beat her if she did something right, and they beat her if they were bored and needed amusement. She knew that she needed to leave.

But she couldn’t leave now. She wouldn’t make it two steps without being beaten to death. No, she had to leave under the cover of nightfall.

The rest of the day passed without Rayen’s full knowledge. Twice she got beaten for giving unsatisfactory work, but still Rayen didn’t pay attention. Her mind was on the night, every detail of her escape must be carefully thought out. Beatings no longer mattered to her and anyway, they would end with nightfall.

As night came, Rayen tried to do everything the same so as not to look suspicious.

She brushed her teeth, washed, combed her hair, but instead of putting on her nightgown, she changed back into her clothes and waited.

Darkness flooded the house except for the other bedroom where Mr. and Mrs. Foester slept. Their light and voices rang out through the house, but eventually they too stopped and fell silent. Rayen waited another fifteen minutes before slipping her backpack on and opening the window. She stuck her head outside and looked down two stories. A fire escape lay right next to her window for an easy escape.

Carefully she slipped out the window onto the rickety fire escape.
The strong wind blew against the fire escape. Each time the fire escape made the slightest creek, Rayen stopped and looked fearfully up at her old window, but no light ever came on.

Finally her feet hit the ground with a thud. Rayen took one last look at what she had called her home for the past five years and took off down the lonely street.

At first it seemed as though a large weight had been lifted from Rayen’s shoulders. She felt like singing and dancing, but she stopped herself, remembering that she was in the middle of a street, still very close to her old home.

Rayen’s feet took her farther away from her old home while Rayen’s mind wandered, thinking about Mrs. Foester’s face when she found out there would be no breakfast waiting for her when she woke up; not tomorrow, not ever. Eventually her mind returned to her body and she found she had no idea where she was. Her brain told her to stop and try to figure out where she was, but her feet kept walking. It seemed as though some invisible force was pulling them somewhere. Rayen was powerless to stop them.

As she walked onwards, something on the horizon appeared. It looked like a long dark line stretching across the horizon. As she got closer, the large line took focus. The forest stretched as far as Rayen could see. It appeared out of nowhere and did not fit in with the suburbs around it. At the edge of forest and suburb, the road changed from paved to dirt. The darkness was more absolute in the forest than on the road. Rayen took out the flashlight from her backpack and flicked it on. The path in front of her brightened a little. Her feet continued to take her deeper into the forest.

Small bright eyes started appearing on the side of the path. Rayen’s pace quickened. Strange sounds from animals all around her grew louder as she journeyed further into the forest. The forest sounds made her uneasy while her heart drummed faster and faster in her chest.

Rayen suddenly wished fiercely that her cat Philly walked calmly beside her. In the plans for escaping she had forgotten about her poor cat.
Something furry brushed against Rayen’s leg. She nearly jumped two feet in the air. Whirling her flashlight down, she saw two bright yellow eyes blinking up at her. Rayen nearly cried with delight; it was Philly! She grabbed him up in her arms and rubbed her face in his fur. Philly blinked confused, then whined to be let down. Rayen place him gently on the ground and he scampered off down the path. Rayen trotted after him.

Philly continued on the main path for a little while longer and then turned off onto a hidden side path. Rayen followed dutifully.

The path had many roots and small bushes jutting across it with many low-lying branches overhead. Philly could nimbly swerve through the underbrush whereas
Rayen had to thrash through the underbrush and avoid low-lying branches. Philly occasionally waited for Rayen to catch up and then dashed off through the underbrush again.

Philly suddenly stopped. Rayen nearly toppled over him, he had stopped so abruptly. Two white birch trees lay directly in front of the cat and the girl. About and arms-length apart, it was a strange sight in a forest full of tall, dark oak trees.

Philly walked slowly up to the pair of trees, and with a slight nod of his head, passed through them. Rayen blinked. Philly had disappeared just as he passed through the birch trees. As Philly disappeared, the forest resumed the strange noises and lurking eyes.

A loud noise from behind made Rayen whirl around. She took a step back and looked over her shoulder at the birch trees, standing firm tall and white in the darkness.

Philly had wanted you to follow him to this point, why not through the trees?
Something inside her reasoned. Another loud noise came from in the forest, closer this time. Might as well.

Rayen walked up to the trees. She bowed her head slightly as Philly had done and walked through the trees. As she passed by the trees, she felt a slight tug as though walking through water. Although she didn’t realize it, she was holding her breath. And then she was through, breathing deeply.

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reviews of this writing

632202
chapter 1 review
♥Roni♥ said:
" This was a good start, although I would advise the use of more pronouns. "

605478
chapter 1 review
Ephona said:
" Wow. Looks like something I would read! Great job! "

Nophoto-f-50x66
chapter 1 review
Katherine said:
" i'm about to read more of this, and it's great so far... just wanted to say that the 'family' in quotes reminded me of fahrenheit 451 with the tv 'fa...more "

830428
chapter 1 review
☠☼Serena☼ ☠Smilin Again☼ ☠ said:
" gr8! luv the cat...smart! btw...the dream part should be in italics when u publish this. yes. WHEN u publish. "

830428
chapter 2 review
☠☼Serena☼ ☠Smilin Again☼ ☠ said:
" wow!!!!!!! "

830428
chapter 3 review
☠☼Serena☼ ☠Smilin Again☼ ☠ said:
" 2nd to last paragraph:

rayen had no use but to follow him

SHOULD BE:
rayen had no CHOICE but to follow him "

830428
chapter 6 review
☠☼Serena☼ ☠Smilin Again☼ ☠ said:
" uh oh!!!!!!!1 "

909992
chapter 10 review
Sella said:
" Wow. This is amazing! It's so suspenseful and exciting and action packed! If you don't post more I'm going to...darn, I've got nothing. Still, ...more "

627841
chapter 10 review
Kenzie said:
" Sella's right. Wow! You and your friend have one amazing story here! You have to post more! "

977943
chapter 10 review
~Clare~ said:
" Wow! Its awesome! Can't wait to see more... "

783899
chapter 10 review
Bluemoon said:
" WOW. That's really all i have to say. Just keep writing, i can't wait to know what happens next! You guys write so well. I can really connect with the...more "

970427
chapter 10 review
Ben said:
" Incredible story...

You and your friend should get published! "

909992
chapter 11 review
Sella liked it
61179
chapter 11 review
Saved By Grace said:
" Amazing
"

977943
chapter 11 review
~Clare~ said:
" Can'y wait for more! : D "

1164017
chapter 11 review
Jackie said:
" I really loved this story it is fantastic, a new romeo and juliet feel to it in the form of fantasy! I cant wait to find out how Rayen changes this wo...more "

909992
chapter 12 review
Sella said:
" Wow. Wow! This is really good! Don't stop! "

977943
chapter 12 review
~Clare~ said:
" COOL! "

Nophoto-m-50x66
chapter 12 review
Jason said:
" And the hits just keep coming! I need the next chapter please! This story has become an addiction for me. Please give me more! "

783899
chapter 12 review
Bluemoon said:
" AWESOME! Keep writing! "

830428
chapter 12 review
☠☼Serena☼ ☠Smilin Again☼ ☠ said:
" luv this chapter! "

977943
chapter 13 review
~Clare~ said:
" oooh : ( They took him!!! well hurry and get him back! lol "

1164017
chapter 14 review
Jackie said:
" Very interesting I love this chapter also! Keep going Girls!! I can't wait to read more! "

977943
chapter 14 review
~Clare~ said:
" oh, kinda sad... :( "

627841
chapter 14 review
Kenzie said:
" You know what, I've just decided something, I don't like the Adahaugas very much. They're awful to Luke. All they care about is that prophecy. Poor Ra...more "

830428
chapter 14 review
☠☼Serena☼ ☠Smilin Again☼ ☠ said:
" OMG!!!!!! "

909992
chapter 15 review
Sella said:
" Wow this is REALLY good!! PLEASE write more!! "

830428
chapter 15 review
☠☼Serena☼ ☠Smilin Again☼ ☠ said:
" oh wow! add more! "

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all of ♥ Brigid ♥'s writing