You really can’t read anything about Mexico without hearing about the driving.
“They’re all crazy!”
“It’s dangerous!”
“Don’t drive at night!”
“Watch out for armed bandidos and highway robbers!”

Driving in Mexico is…special. If, like me, you are an aggressive driver and maybe just a teensy bit insane, you might find out that you prefer driving in Mexico. Me? I was born to drive in Mexico. One trip back to the States and I found my driving creativity stifled. I was miserable.

At first blush, it may appear that there are no traffic rules at all. This is not the case. There are some traffic rules, but all of them are flexible based on circumstances. There are even traffic laws, believe it or not. Whether or not they are enforced seems completely arbitrary, so drive like a madman at your own risk. As I mentioned before, the number one cause of death for American tourists is traffic-related fatalities.

Mexico is the land of one-way streets. Many towns have two main streets, one going in each direction. The rest of the town is a maze of one-ways. The arrows designating the direction of traffic are usually only painted on corner buildings, so learn to watch for them as well as road signs. Sometimes there are no arrows at all. You won’t be able to tell by which way the cars are parked either, because remember, everything is flexible. Many people have no problem driving the wrong way down a one-way street and parking facing the wrong way, even on the wrong side if it’s faster for them and there isn’t much traffic.

In Mexico, it’s always Make Your Own Lane Day! Your lane is wherever you can fit. Whoever is driving the bigger vehicle and has the biggest cojones gets to go first. Passing on the left is preferred, but don’t feel like you have to limit yourself. You can pass on the right, even on the embankment if you really want to. When you see someone driving with the left turn signal on, or waving out the driver’s side window, you can assume it’s safe to pass on the left. Particularly in the country, you will find some very optimistic drivers who have no problem passing you on a blind curve, uphill. This is why you see so many little crosses on the side of the road.

Another helpful signal is your hazard flashers. Drivers use them to signal extreme stops or that they are slowing down. Provided they have lights that work, it saves people from a lot of rear-end collisions. For example, you might use your flashers if you find yourself flying over unmarked topes (speed bumps), or if a truck full of live pigs pulls out in front of you. It’s best to warn the people who are flying up behind you that you are no longer going 100 kilometers an hour.

Another in-town experience you will have to deal with is the exciting left hand turn. In America, this is accomplished by a turn lane on the inside of the left lane and a corresponding light. In Mexico, they like to mix it up a little. Sometimes the left hand turn lane is on the inside on the left like you’re used to, and sometimes … (cue dramatic music), it’s on the outside on the right! Even more confusing is the use of lateral highways. The main highway will go through town and there will be lateral roads running on either side, each going in one direction. In this case, there will be occasional exits and the left hand turn is taken from the inside of the left lane on the lateral.

For example, picture eight lanes. The first four lanes on the left are headed south, the outside two are the lateral and the two inside are the highway. The next four lanes are headed north. Again, the inside lanes are the highway and the outside lanes are the lateral. If you are headed north, to make your left hand turn you will merge onto the lateral to your right through a break in the median. The lateral is two lanes, one for going straight (the outside) and one for turning left or making a U-turn (the inside). It’s confusing, I know. The idea behind the laterals is that in-town traffic doesn’t slow down highway traffic. The unfortunate side effect is that you often must drive past your desired location and make a U-turn to the other lateral to get to where you want to go. Until you get used to the system in your town, you may find yourself driving in frustrated circles.

**************************************************************
I was driving home using a lateral road during one of my first weeks in Mexico. I pulled up behind a large truck waiting at a stoplight. It was a huge flatbed with long pieces of rebar sticking out the back. I waited for a while and when the light changed, the truck didn’t move. Like many people in Mexico, the driver had decided that parking in the middle of the road at an intersection wasn’t an issue for him. I was frustrated, as I often was, driving in my early days in Mexico. I looked behind me and unfortunately, there were cars lined up waiting to go. I angrily backed up and made a sharp turn, stomping on the gas to show my displeasure, promptly driving three feet of rebar into the corner of my windshield and into the back seat of my car. This was an unexpected twist

The other drivers were busy driving on the median, circumventing my car, and I found that I had enough room to reverse, removing the rebar from my car. Knowing perfectly well there was no one to sue and no insurance to be called, I disengaged my car from the construction material and drove off in a huff. While I drove, peering through the cracked and shattered mess that was once a windshield, I contemplated my situation. After a brief stop for a cup of coffee with some local friends, they pointed me to a glass repair shop on the highway. One hundred dollars and two hours later I had a new windshield (with my rearview mirror slightly misplaced) and they had even tried to bang out the giant dent in the corner where the glass meets metal.

Say what you will about this valuable driving lesson, but if this had happened in America, it would have been a different story altogether. I would have spent 30 minutes talking to the construction worker who parked the truck and the business he was parked in front of. I would have taken some pictures, possibly called the police and filled out a police report. When I got home, I would have filed my insurance claim and then dropped my car off at the body shop. I would have gotten my rental car for at least a week while they repaired the metal and the ordered the windshield. I would have paid my deductible, and my insurance premium would have been raised at the next opportunity. A minimum of four paid employees would have worked on my case; the policeman, two insurance adjusters (one for each side) and the auto body worker. All in all, my windshield would have ended up costing in salaries, rental car, and insurance, several thousand dollars. Instead it was $100 and two hours of my time, and living with a dent. You tell me which is the better way.


Another unique difference in Mexico is the proliferation of speed bumps, or topes. The speed limits in Mexico are largely ignored, with people driving at only one of two speeds: eye-clawingly slow or terrifyingly fast, a choice seemingly independent of the number of people crammed into their car or truck. As a deterrent for the second type of driver, the highway department litters the highway and many other roads with massive speed bumps. These aren’t your average speed bumps, either. They are usually gigantic and made of steel discs, not gently sloping concrete. If you hit one unawares at a high speed, you will damage your car. Topes was the first word I learned after crossing the border. Designated by signs depicting two small bumps that look suspiciously like breasts, or by painted white lines in the street, you’ll only have to ask yourself, ‘hey, what does that mea--” once. Of course, like most things in Mexico, whether or not you will actually receive warnings in advance of upcoming topes is completely random.

Another generalized piece of advice for driving in Mexico is not to drive at night. This is because there are no laws here to dictate what your car must have in order to legally be on the road. It is not uncommon to see cars without rearview mirrors, taillights, bumpers, windshields, or even headlights. It’s the lack of headlights and taillights that are the main problem when you are warned not to drive at night, especially on windy, jungle roads. It is Mexico after all, so all manner of domestic and wild life may be sharing the highway with you. On my way into Puerto Vallarta, city and tourist Mecca that it is, I’ve seen donkeys, cows, dogs, and even a camel on the highway. One night I almost ran over a coatimundi, a relative of the raccoon.

These reasons, and the unexpected speed bumps keep most foreigners off the roads at night, but if you are vigilant and used to driving in the country at night, it’s really no different than the dangers facing you in the U. S. Well, except for the drunk people driving without headlights, but is that really so different?

As you are driving through Mexico, you will be faced with two options: the cuota (toll) road or the libre (free) road. Depending on where you are coming from, the tolls here might be more or less expensive than what you are used to. In my opinion, it’s worth paying the tolls. The toll roads are nicely paved, wide highways. They are sometimes lit and have Pemex (the official gas station of Mexico) stations at regular intervals for all your potty and munchie needs.

Cultural Note: Whether it’s a gas station or restaurant, you might find a payment is required to use the facilities. There could be an old woman collecting money (in which case she will reward you with toilet paper) or just a bowl. You are expected the pay the $3 pesos. The gas station attendants work for tips and tips alone. It is customary to give them a few pesos for their service.

The libre roads are for the adventurous, or those who aren’t on a schedule. They go to the same destinations as the cuota roads, but wind through the countryside, small villages and towns. There will be more traffic, more cows, and more sightseeing. It really depends on what kind of traveler you are. If you like discovering new spots and you have time to visit out of the way places, take the libre road. A word of caution however, don’t take the libre road if it’s late in the day and you plan on making a certain place by nightfall. Some libre roads can add up to a hundred miles to your journey. Also, while the dangers of highway robbery can be equal parts hearsay, paranoia, and urban legend, there are still places in Mexico where it does happen. Take the U. S. Travel Department’s often dire description of Mexico with a grain of salt, but pay attention to areas that are experiencing civil unrest or an unusual level of drug activity.

Driving in Mexico is not an experience that you will soon forget. With time and experience you will find your comfort level driving in Mexico. As I said, for assertive, aggressive, or slightly crazy drivers, Mexico can be a liberating place to drive. How many times have you sat at a red light in the wee hours of the morning with not a soul in sight, just because it’s the law? Rolling through stop signs, or not stopping at all is common, at least when there is no additional traffic. Blowing through red lights is less common, but it happens as well.

Parking is another subject. There are yellow and white zones. White means parking is okay and yellow means it isn’t. Sometimes the yellow is chipped, faded, and peeling away. Sometimes people park in the yellow. Even more often, people park in the yellow with their hazard lights on. This is another area in Mexico where enforcement is completely arbitrary. You might see ten people parked in yellow zones and driving the wrong way down one-way streets, but then park in the yellow yourself for just a moment and you may come back to find a ticket on your car and your license plate missing.

That’s right; your license plate is missing. When you get a parking ticket in Mexico, they usually take the rear plate off your car. If you really want to frustrate the transito (traffic cops), weld your plates on before you get to Mexico, but you didn’t hear it from me. If your plate is missing, you will find a ticket on your windshield. The solution is simple, find the local traffic office, go pay your fine and retrieve your plate. Traffic tickets are cheap—mine was $100 pesos. And don’t worry about driving around for a couple of days without a license plate. If you get pulled over, simply show them the ticket and you will be fine.

Cultural Note: Most government offices close early, like around 2:00 PM, so plan on getting important government business (immigration, traffic violations, etc.) done first thing in the morning. Also, the sooner you pay your ticket, the cheaper it is.

Police corruption used to be a major problem in Mexico, and as a result the government has cracked down big time. They routinely test officers by having undercover agents offer them bribes. If they accept, they are in very deep shit. That means that you shouldn’t go around expecting to offer cops money to get out of trouble, or you could find yourself in a similar spot. The majority of policemen will give you a ticket or even let you go in some instances. Once I made an egregiously illegal turn because I was lost and confused. After the transito talked to me for a while and determined I wasn’t a drunk driver, he warned me and sent me on my way.

In all of the experiences I have had with authorities in Mexico, the police (transito, federales, etc…) have all been very polite and helpful. It doesn’t do anyone any good to argue or be irate with them. A positive attitude, politeness and manners will get you everywhere in Mexico and it might even get you out of a ticket.

That doesn’t mean that corruption doesn’t exist, it does, but it’s not nearly as prevalent as it once was. There may be times when you will come back to your car and find your plate missing, but no ticket. Rest assured that there is a traffic cop nearby waiting for you to come back to your vehicle so that he can solicit a bribe.


****************************************************************
I returned to my car after lunch at a nearby seafood place, tucked away from the famous Puerto Vallarta malécon. Still tasting my delicious $15 USD lobster tail, I climbed in and drove off. As I rounded the corner to pull on to the main road, a transito flagged me down. He was waving my license plate at me.
“Senorita, you need to pull over,” he said, looking at me crossly and gesturing to pull around the block back to where I was just parked. I didn’t even notice my license plate was missing!

“Buenas tardes, Señor,” I said, giving him my most beatific smile. “Qué pasa?”
“Oh, Señorita, I am so sorry. You were parked in a yellow zone and I must give you a ticket,” said the weasel-faced cop, feigning sincerity.

“Oh really?” I said, peering out of my car window at the peeling faded yellow paint on the curb. I can feign right back. “I didn’t realize. It’s so hard to see the yellow now.”
“Yes, it is yellow. That is a ticket here. You can park on the white but not the yellow.”

“I see. I am so terribly sorry. Where do I pay my ticket?”
“Well, you can go to the government offices tomorrow and pay or perhaps because you didn’t realize you were breaking the law, you can pay now and receive your license plate back.”
“I see. And just how much of a ticket are we talking about here?” I ask suspiciously, having paid a $100 peso ticket the other day.
“We can take care of this for $800 pesos,” said el transito, smugly.

Eight hundred pesos? I almost choked. Fine, if it was going to be like that…I rifled through my wallet, carefully avoiding showing the transito my big bills.

“I can’t pay that. I don’t have very much money on me,” I lied. I showed him the $200 peso bill I brought out. “This is all I have.” After some discussion as to whether that was indeed all the money I had, it ended up being good enough for him.

“Here!” I said, dangling the money out the window. He stepped back as if I had a grenade. Penalties are very stiff for police who solicit bribes. Losing their job is the least of their concerns. He had me palm him the money through a crack in the door instead.

“So,” he said, “Are you married? Maybe we can go out dancing sometime.”

And so goes the delicate dance of the Mexico police bribe. It was my first time but not my last. When given a choice, I won’t pay a bribe. I’d rather have the ticket. Not only is it cheaper, but I don’t believe in rewarding corruption. Unfortunately, choice doesn’t always enter into it. Once policeman took my driver’s license and wouldn’t give it back or give me a ticket. He held me hostage on the street for well over forty minutes until I decided to just pay my “fine” and go off. Not as wide-spread as it was, the mordida (bribe) is alive and well in Mexico.

Live and learn. I go through these things so you don’t have to. Just in case, it is a good idea to avoid traveling with a lot of cash, or if you must, don’t keep it all in your wallet. Keep some in your car, some in your pocket, and some in your wallet. That way, if you do get robbed or are forced into a bribe, you won’t have lost everything.

I have never had a traffic accident in Mexico and God willing, I never will. For a variety of reasons, accidents are fairly common here, and Mexicans have a special way of dealing with them. They run.

Yes, run. Flee. Don’t stop and check your car. Don’t exchange information. Don’t stop to see if the other person is ok. You back up and floor it in whatever direction is available to you. “But, that is so irresponsible and illegal!” I can hear you say.
Suit yourself, but be aware that in Mexico everyone goes to jail until they decide who the at-fault party is. If you decide to stay and wait for the transito to arrive, the only people who will be waiting with you is anyone whose car is disabled, or who are too injured to crawl away. Guess who’s going to be at fault, gabacho?

Situations vary however and it should be noted that in many cases, a simple fender-bender or similar accident can be resolved to both parties satisfaction through negotiation. For example, paying for repairs or providing the parts for the repairs is often enough to take care of a dinged fender or busted taillight.

I was relating an amusing story I had heard over dinner one night about a man who had gotten in an accident in Mexico and stuck around to talk to the cops. Several hours later his lawyer had bailed him out of jail even though he was the one sideswiped.

“It’s just a good thing no one got injured,” I said at the end of the story.
“Oh yes, that is good. You can’t leave a witness if there was,” a friend of mine said offhandedly. I laughed, thinking she was joking. She wasn’t.
“You listen to me,” she said, grabbing my hand and staring at me intently. “If you hit someone in Mexico, you back over them and make sure you got them.”

Are you effing kidding me? I was having a hard time processing this new information. I’d never thought about what I would do if I hit someone.

“I’m not kidding. That’s just what’s done here. No witnesses.”
Having never hit anyone with my car, I can’t tell you anymore about the idea that you run people over a second time and make sure they are dead. But I can tell you that this frightening piece of information has been shared with me from five separate sources. My advice? Don’t get hit by a car in Mexico.

Now the above passage is a terrible thing to write for many reasons, not the least of which is that some people are going to take it literally. I, personally, will not run over a witness to a car accident, but this is what I’ve heard and when you move here, you will hear it too. Leaving the scene of an accident, if no one was injured is not illegal. Leaving the scene of an accident when someone is injured (or I assume, running them over a second time) is very illegal. Aside from the fact that it’s very, very bad karma, law-abiding citizens both Nationals and Foreigners will gladly track you down and turn you in.


***************************************************************
I did see someone get hit by a car once. I was standing outside of the laundry when I heard screeching tires and saw a woman get nailed at probably 20 MPH on the highway while crossing the street. She flew up onto the windshield and rolled off the side of the car into the street. Surprisingly, she popped up immediately and looked extremely embarrassed, then started to go on her way to wherever she was going.

Now that is one thing you will never see in America. If you so much as get dinged by a shopping cart in a supermarket parking lot, it’s expected that you clutch your neck and fall over prostrate. This woman was actually embarrassed that she got hit by a car on the freeway! Most interestingly, it wasn’t about to stop her from whatever it was she was on her way to do.

The people who were now stopped all over the highway got out of their cars and finally convinced her to let someone take her to the hospital to see if she was ok. At least that’s what they told her. Did she make it to the hospital? Thinking back, she got into the backseat of the car that hit her. Sometimes people just disappear in Mexico.

Does driving in Mexico seem too overwhelming for you? Well, you are in luck. Believe it or not, the bus system in Mexico is top notch. The long distance system that traverses Mexico gives you easy access to practically any city and town in the country. The first-class buses are extremely comfortable, with deeply reclining cushioned seats, air conditioning, and movies. Many of the movies are in English, although they may be ones you’ve never heard of. I remember, during my trip to Merida, I saw an extremely violent Japanese horror film and a mushy American Stand By Me knock-off. The bus ticket prices are very reasonable as well.

Cultural Note: You won’t find public movies and music edited like you would in America. Bad words are kept in, as is nudity and violence. I will never get over my trip to the new shopping center in Puerto Vallarta for shopping in the fancy department store and hearing Snoop Dogg’s “Gin & Juice,” over the store’s speakers.

The city buses aren’t nearly as nice, although there are different classes of bus. The stereotypical Mexican bus crammed full of people and livestock does still exist, but you have options. The city buses run constantly from early morning to late at night and are very inexpensive. With some destinations in mind and a pocketful of change, you can see a lot of the city for very little money. For example, you can cross Puerto Vallarta for about fifty cents.

Taxis are another option. They aren’t as expensive as in the States, but for frequent travel, it does add up. Ask around at hotels for average prices to the places you want to go so you have an idea if your cab driver is over-charging you. Taxi fares, like nearly everything else in Mexico, is negotiable through haggling. You aren’t expected to tip unless the driver does something above and beyond, such as hauling your bags. The price quoted is the entire price he expects. Avoid grabbing cabs at airports, hotels and other tourist areas unless there is a sign with fares. While the majority of cabbies are honest and hard working people, it’s still best to never get in the cab without negotiating a price first!

Cabbies are great for city tours too. If you tell the cabbie that you just moved to town and want a tour of where all the important things are, he’s probably take you on a grand tour to proudly show off the city; all for a reasonable rate. You’ll get history and information that you won’t read about in guidebooks and he might even take you to a local restaurant unknown to the tourists.


*************************************************************
During the festival of the Virgin Guadalupe in Puerto Vallarta, my guest and I parked at the local supermarket and took a cab to a popular restaurant. The streets where the restaurant was located were blocked off for the nightly procession of floats. After a delicious dinner and enjoying the festivities, we hopped in a cab at about the same place we got out and headed back to my truck at the supermarket. I made the mistake of asking the price when we arrived.

“Cuanto cuesta?” I asked the driver.
“ Cien-cincuenta pesos,” he replied, looking at me in the mirror. This was more than double what we had paid for the other trip.
“Esta una broma?” I asked him. Is this a joke?
“No,” he replied, and he wasn’t laughing. I handed him the largest bill I had, a five hundred peso note.
“Tiene cambio?” he asked, frowning. Do I have change?
“Not for a hundred and fifty pesos, I don’t,” I said in English, giving him a glare. He gave me back my big bill; I gave him fifty pesos and got out of the car. Dealing with rip-off artists is not for the timid.

In many places you will find that you can easily get by without a car. You can take the bus, ride a bike, or walk many places and save taxis for grocery shopping and when you need to bring home heavy things. Keep in mind, however, that Mexico isn’t as pedestrian-oriented as the States. Your personal safety rests on you, so watch where you are going and don’t expect people to stop and let you cross a busy highway.

Cultural Note: Don’t expect to sue anyone if something happens to you in Mexico. If you fall in a hole and break your leg, the onus falls on you for not watching where you were going. Likewise with driving off cliffs, getting hit by cars, or being sucked out to sea by a riptide. If your coffee is too hot, you slip and fall, or you choke on a button, Mexico considers it Darwinism and so do I.