Crossroads

There sometimes comes a philosophical crossroads in life where one path may take you down a simple and pleasant, satisfactory life. The other will take you down unknown and unbelievable pain, torment, terror, passion, thought and euphoria. Society constantly leads you down the first path, and an inner voice, an agonized soul pushes you toward the second path. This crossroads is where the world splits for me. This is where the life I could have had haunts me and will always haunt me. Even at the moment I made the decision to go one way, or the other, I knew the other road would present itself to me forever through my dreams, my fantasies, my wishes. It would always be my greener grass. What I chose would be the more faded color, because after all, who lives their dream, who accomplishes their life’s ambition, who fulfills their undying wishes. Therein lay my existential dilemma. As soon as I labeled it as such, I began dissecting it as I would any philosophical premise and came up with a hypothesis of eternal free will. If I will myself to be happy, if I am willed onto the greenest grass in my wildest imagination, if I allow myself to endure a wonderful life, will that in effect, cause me to lead my most successful and euphoric and satisfactory life? That will forever be the thesis of my life and until my dying moments it will be thoroughly disputed.