Morgan F's Reviews > Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side

Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey
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Apr 11, 10

bookshelves: vampires, nfa-library, fantasy, romance, 2000s, multiple, read-2010, medium-sized
Recommended for: 14 and up? There's some sexy stuff and the occasional cuss
Read from April 09 to 11, 2010

Jessica Packwood is just your average American teen looking for a great senior year. Everything is looking good...until Lucius Vladescu comes to town. Lucius Vladescu is a sexy new foreign exchange student from Romania- who claims Jessica is a vampire princess and his betrothed. Jessica reluctantly transists into her vampiredom with a copy of Growing Up Undead: A Teen Vampire's Guide to Dating, Health, and Emotions and with some tough decisions to make. Jessica is an ordinary girl, is she ready for eternity with a complicated, ruthless vampire?

From the title I was expecting some light and funny satire, but that's not exactly what I got. I'm not sure what this book wanted to be. At times it was hysterical, sometimes silly, occasionally sexual, and other times heavy. I didn't know what to expect. My favorite part of the books was whenever Lucius wrote letters back home to his uncle. His commentary was hysterical. I wish the whole book was from his eyes. Jessica was okay, but not really that interesting. She was sometimes funny or witty, but most of time was pretty dry. I am kinda sick and tired of nice narrators that guys unexplicably fall for. Jessica wasn't as bad as other narrators, but that makes me for frustrated because I see what she could have been.

The book overall was pretty unique- if slightly predictable, but what isn't nowadays? The book was slow-going sometimes, and there could have been more action. Some parts were ridiculous, like the Wuthering Heights drama and the stake-thrusting mob. And (sorry if this confuses you), I wanted more! It ended too abruptly. As soon as it gets juicy in Romania, I get shut down. I was like "Nooooo!" I don't get a nice little epilogue? A postcard? NOTHING? Alas, I guess that is life...

One thing I have to point out is this random phrase that had me staring at it for like 12 minutes: "phantasmagoric edifice". Wicka wicka WHAT? And it wasn't the fancy European guy who said it either, but rather the farm girl from....I forgot where she's from. Some farm place.

Anyway, not exactly what I was expecting, but entertaining enough. If I see something else by this author, I'll pick it up.
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Reading Progress

04/09/2010 page 139
39.6% "I kinda like it. Particularly Luius's letters." 1 comment
04/10/2010 page 291
82.91% "Some parts are just plain awkward..." 1 comment

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