Lanier's Reviews > What Would Susie Say?: Bullsh*t Wisdom About Love, Life and Comedy

What Would Susie Say? by Susie Essman
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Mar 06, 10

Read in March, 2010

2-18-10
Page 100
Pretty funny S***s! It reads well, like having Susie YELLING obscenities in your ear while you're trying to find the .....spot! Need I say more?
She's hilarious on "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and she's almost as good in bed!

3-6-10
What would Susie Say? BS Wisdom About Love, Life and Comedy, by Susie Essman
I had to pick up something much lighter and more truthful after trying to feel for Pelzer pact of lies, A Boy Called ‘It’!
Essman’s advice and recollections of coming up through the business was far more what I needed to be focusing my time upon. It’s like she writes, in her letter to her four children: “Gravitate toward people who like themselves. They won’t suck the life out of you. They need less from you and therefore can see you more clearly. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself, and I don’t mean ass kissers or sycophants. I mean people you are your best self with. People who like themselves are less self-involved and therefore have more to offer,” (175). I particularly like when she continues by saying trust your gut feelings when someone make you feel “icky”. Run as fast as you can AWAY from these types of people. And before I even got 20 pages into Pelzer’s I began to get an icky feeling that the text simply didn’t ring true. I began to go research, learning how that particular author may have withheld documents that may BLOW HIS SPOT up. If you were abused, tell you tales, show the proof, should you have it and move on. What’s there to hide? You’ve written not ONE, but three books on this topic and the accounts, according to those who wasted their time reading all of them—all the accounts change slightly with each fresh new telling? ‘Nuf said about that glory-seeking d****bag!

Now, on the other hand, I can sympathize with Essman, trying to “connect” with her teenage kids when she blunders with, “’Didn’t Fergie used to be in the Black Eyed Chili Peppers?’ Loooooong pause and then the ultimate sign I did something horribly wrong—eye rolling, eye rolling, eye rolling….I was the queen of the eye rollers. In fact, I was so good at it, you could actually hear me roll my eyes.” OK, so less than half the time to get that above “icky” feeling, we get this comfortable, “I hear you” feeling from Susie. We’re buds, walking through Central Station, standing on the platform waiting for the dreaded 4 Train. Well, not quite that friendly, but she rings TRUTH. And, I lmao, for those of you tweens still reading. Lol :O

Page 8—living the uncommonly happy and carefree maxi-pad commercial life.

13—“I did some research on the teenage brain and learned that the cerebral frontal cortex (cfc) is not fully formed until the age of twenty-five.” This comes as no surprise to any teacher or social worker or anyone else in the human sciences. However, her take on this is standard Essman, and I won’t blow the punchlines here, go out and get into her head as she’s done mine! Likewise, her eight questions for trying to protect and warn her teenage daughter about the dangers and joys of sexual desire while they are extremely (cfc) deficient a few pages also shows how worried a mother, guardian or teacher truly gets for their kids.

Other pages I’ll update later are 22, 31, 73, “my mother’s been dying since 1963.” 83-6, and “dry vaginas”, 94-5 another “teaching moment” concerning her grandmother’s motivations for learning not always modeled by all parents or adults in one’s life. Page 98 and her love of walking the streets of NYC. I love her observations, as the majority of her insights about PAYING ATTENTION—page 129 and 110 completely different hilarious “geysers” of massive proportions.

You will laugh, you will learn and you’ll want to hear more from this veteran of the Comedic Stage and hopefully she’ll be performing somewhere downtown soon.
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Reading Progress

02/20/2010 page 160
62.5% "Funny, irreverent, like having her SCREAMING obscenities about your inadequacies in your ear in bed!"

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