Erica's Reviews > A Storm of Swords

A Storm of Swords by George R.R. Martin
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What? I never finished this?
I'm reading it now, though, and will finish it and move on until I am all caught-up...and then will wait a zillion years for the next book to come out.
If I make it to the end without killing myself, I am going to throw me a party.

Ok, so, it's taken me...oh, a year? to read this. For this go-round, I mean. After I picked it up again last summer, I realized I'd started it a few times in the past but never made it more than a quarter of the way in because life things kept getting in the way (i.e. moving households and packing the book and then not finding it again for a thousand years. And grad school. That sort of thing) I stuck with it this time but, holy hell, people, this book is exhausting
Also, I am thinking of petitioning the publisher to change the name of this particular installment in the series. I think it should be named Weddings In Westeros Are To Be Avoided At All Cost, or, You Will Need Therapy After This Book. I think that title would be much more indicative of the content.

You'll note the 4 star rating and if you decide to be stalkerly and see what I gave the first two books, you'll see they got 5 stars.
There are reasons for my rating change.
1) This book seriously wore me out. It made me very tired and also somewhat depressed at times. And while I like to exercise my emotions and my reading skillz and such, this was like going to the gym for a good workout and then getting a cruel trainer who uses whips and hot pokers to motivate you to give yourself a heart attack and it goes far beyond healthy and into abusive territory. Abusive workouts are not good for you. Abusive readings are much the same. It was overwhelming and it left me feeling little and limp and perhaps a tad broken. So this is like the "I hate you" reaction after you've been beaten up and are lying on the floor, crying pitifully.
2) After the dreaded RED WEDDING OF DOOM (I understand that went down a little differently on TV than in the book), things seemed to have taken a turn toward the silly. Not the "Oh, ha ha ha, there's a pigeon who wants to drive the bus" silly but more like, "No, this is getting too close to ridiculous and things need to turn around now before they start spiraling downward at an alarming pace and I lose respect for EVERYONE!" (not everyone, I'm just being melodramatic, hence the all caps) Dany's story comes to mind first. Yay, she's freeing slaves and yay she's got dragons story is getting a little...what is it? I don't know the word. But I find I sigh and roll my eyes at her and think, "Uh huh. I don't think so, honey. That would not have happened/you would not have done that/we've done this 20 times already so can we just move on?/STOP BEING SUCH A FREAKING POLLYANNA AND GROW THE HELL UP, KID" I noticed several "Uh oh, this could go the wrong way" moments in the last third of the book, just niggling things but things that seemed out of place, things that seemed like if they weren't nipped in the bud it would turn from breathless reading to pissed-off-at-ridiculousness (no, I can't give examples because I didn't underline them to note for later; it's not my book). We're not there nor are we actually close, but the doors have been opened. From what I understand, the next book is nothing but minor characters and new characters and such which is good because I know better than to get attached to anyone now since they're just all going to die anyhow.
Which reminds me, let's also change the series title. Let's just call it EVERYONE DIES because that seems more accurate than songs of fires and ices.

P.S. Tyrion, I am so so so proud of you. I want to hug your face and smooch you because you continue to rock and you are full of wish fulfillment for me and my dad-hate.
Also, I find I've begun to root for Sansa. I can't even stand the girl (OMG, really? You are still using the word "tummy" like a little kid after everything you've been through? You also need to grow up super fast, child, because you are headed for some more shit and your "tummy" isn't going to like it) because, really, she's one of the few remaining Starks so I'm sort of running out of choices here.

Nevermind. Screw all that.
THIS is my review, now.
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