Corby's Reviews > Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence

Queen Bees and Wannabes by Rosalind Wiseman
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Feb 06, 10

Read from January 31 to February 01, 2010

I really wasn't all that surprised by this book, at least not by the "revelations" of the late-teen issues of chapters 8-9. It really doesn't appear to be all that different from when I was coming up 25 years ago, unless my experiences were precocious. Maybe they were, but somehow I think there's still a spectrum of social life out there, just as there was back in the day. That said, I'm still not all that sure that I'm ready to deal with these things as a parent of a daughter, even as in-the-know and been-there-done-those-mistakes as I am. There are some good reminders in the book about what life is like for the pre-teen and teenaged set, and I really liked the examples of how to approach the situation from a parent's point of view (hopefully using language that won't shut down the kid). I was less convinced of, what I felt were, too-clearly-delineated roles within pre-teen cliques from 5th grade on. What I did notice back then was girl-bullying of "loners" and "nonconformists" and a lot of what they now call RA (relational aggression), but it really wasn't performed under the same structure as is outlined in the book. Maybe that is something that was either more present at a younger age a few decades ago (I remember within-group power plays happening in 2-3rd grade, by 5th grade the cliques in elementary school were pretty set), my jr high was too big for magnified nonsense like that (there were 1200 kids in 2 grades), or I just didn't notice groups of girls overtly competing with each other under the Queen Bee hierarchy after early elementary. I guess I'll get to step in it all once again as I watch my daughter navigate the waters... Yay. At any rate, this book will be a worthwhile reference for our family in a few years, I hope an updated edition comes out then to put on the shelf.
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