Darga's Reviews > The Lost Diary of Don Juan: An Account of the True Arts of Passion and the Perilous Adventure of Love

The Lost Diary of Don Juan by Douglas Carlton Abrams
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M 50x66
's review
Nov 04, 2007

liked it
Recommended for: supposed ladies' men struggling with the idea of commitment (i.e. every 25-30 year old guy alive)
Read in November, 2007

as a story, i consider this a 2 star book. but for its author and philosophy and circumstance, i think it's more interesting.

when i picked this up in the bargain bin, i could tell from the giant portrait on the back of the book that it was written by a douche who wanted to share with me his advice on how to get laid. the book had more positive reviews that i'd have expected though, so i was intrigued.

all that actually matters about the story is that don juan is a famous libertine and seducer, and eventually he meets a woman who turns his life upside down and teaches him how to love. it really might as well have been written as a screenplay for antonio bandares.

the part about the book that is surprising is the philosophy of the don juan character. don juan's (and the reader assumes abrams') idea of why to be a ladies man and ultimately why to be a devoted husband are surprising, and have much more of a spiritual bent than i expected.

when i was mostly done reading the book, there was a mention of how don juan had read some secret book from the east, which basically taught him to have sex all night without ejaculating.

that's when i realized this wasn't the first book i'd read by doug abrams. he also cowrote the multiorgasmic man, another book which which had a surprising focus on the connection between sex and spirituality. it's essentially a book on taoist sexual techniques and philosophy, thinly disguised as a sex manual.

the theme of both books is that sex isn't great for the reason guys think it's great. abrams ultimately says that sex with one woman you love is a way to experience the beauty of all women, and can end up being much more pleasurable than having meaningless sex with a lot of women.

the thing that makes don juan interesting is not whether or not that's true (it is, i think), but that the book is obviously a way for abrams to clarify his own thinking to himself, and most importantly, to explain it to his wife.

his dedication to her at the end of the book makes it clear that the challenges of don juan and his love interest have been the same challenges abrams and his wife have faced: earning the trust of a woman who knows your sordid sexual past, making peace with settling down, finding the beauty and the sexuality of lifelong monogamy.

as somebody who solves all his problems by writing and/or talking, i can appreciate a book that serves to untangle a writer's thoughts. especially when i've wrestled with the same issues.

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