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Memoirs of Hadrian by Marguerite Yourcenar
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There is a word that keeps popping up in my reading. I’d go so far as to say that this word is the underlying descriptor for the majority of my favorite books, in some way. The thing is that I can’t tell you exactly what that word is, nor what it means. In Turkish, the word is hüzün, In Korean, it is maybe something close to han, in French perhaps ennui (though I am far from satisfied with that), and in Japanese, mono no aware. None of these words mean quite the same thing, none has the same connotations, or the same cultural usage, really, but nonetheless they all get at something- something they all peek and pry at from different angles, but do not capture entirely. For me, the meaning of all these words is most exquisitely expressed in a Latin phrase: Lacrimae rerum. It is found in the Aeneid, and my favorite translation of it (which yes of course means I will ignore all others) is “tears of things.” It is said by Aeneas as he gazes at a mural of the Trojan War, overcome with anger and sadness, going to a place beyond either of these emotions to... the “tears of things".

This word.. whatever its meaning, does not exist in English. It needs several words to describe what it means in this language, and I think that some words need to be repeated and said in the right way to convey it in the same way. But it still wouldn’t work. It certainly wouldn’t work in America. America is the anti- this word. America is founded on the promise that everyone should be free to not know what this word means, and moreover that its residents should make it a point to laugh at it when they see it. This word is silly, eye-roll inducing, a “stage”. It is helpful that in the United States, imitations and shadows of it are mostly laughable, thought of as a way to sell black lipstick to 16 year old goth girls or let floppy haired boys think they are James Dean for owning a leather jacket. It doesn’t really have anything to do with that, though. I said I was surprised that Memoirs of Hadrian isn’t considered a part of the canon here. I’m not, really. How could it be? The closest we get to this book is Gatsby and Jay Gatsby’s nouveau riche problems are (mostly) beside the point. Our coming of age novel is Catcher in the Rye. One of the French ones has a title that translates as The Lost Estate. I think the title says enough.

This is not a historical version of The Unbearable Lightness of Being that I’m pitching here. But it does have something to do with time, time and the weight of it. It has something to do with the last time I was in Italy. I wandered off the standard routes into the side streets and came on an idle construction site- a building with its foundations dug out, standing on stilts, shining and new, but idle, the sign said, since the previous March. This was because someone had found the remains of pottery, art and other foundations from the Roman Empire. The national authorities were so backed up with other discoveries of this kind around the country that they hadn’t gotten around to clearing it out, nearly a year and a half later- and this was a site near the center of Rome. It isn’t about the fact that it happened, only, though.

Memoirs of Hadrian is a meditation on finding a pile of pottery shards and deciding what to do with them. Your decision depends very much on what you see in them, or really, more precisely who you see in them. What tale takes shape in your brain- what is relevant to be put down on paper, if you think there’s anything genuine to be found or what genuine means to you, and most of all if perhaps you’d just as well better get on with building your office park, which is after all supported by some stilts right now and won’t (and shouldn’t) wait forever. Yourcenar changed her mind about her particular pile of pottery shards many times. She changed her mind so hard the first time, she burned the remains. Then she did it again, five years later. But she retained one sentence from her 1934 bonfire: "I begin to discern the profile of my death.” With that sentence she had, like a “painter who moves his easel from left to right,” found the proper viewpoint for the book. But pottery shards look different in the light of Europe, 1939. They look even more strange in 1942, in a Yale library next to newspapers whose headlines speak of many, many office parks that need to be rebuilt, and some that never will be, until one thinks of the shards “with something like shame for having ever ventured upon such an undertaking.”

But then a trunk arrives from Switzerland in 1948. It bears letters from old friends, many of whom are now dead... and one letter to someone who has been dead much longer. “Dear Mark,” it begins. Something else escaped Europe’s bonfires, something she hadn’t remembered she’d created at all- the beginning of another letter, from an imagined Hadrian, to his young heir, Marcus Aurelius. Somehow, it survived. And then she thought of something else to do with her pottery shards- perhaps it was time to begin putting them back together. Or better, it was time to tell the young heirs how to put them back together.

But how do you do that? How do you pick up the pieces and go on when you can’t even honestly say you know where they should rightfully go? You may have lived more than thirty years trying to figure it out, immersing yourself in the craft of it until you could do it blind, but you’re just guessing in the end. Aren’t you painting it just a little bit shinier than it was before? Doesn’t everything fit together better than it should? What should you do with this notation from a critic that says there was a crack in it from the very first time he saw it? Do you restore the cracks? Or do you have a responsibility to put the best face you can on it, to present it as the maker would have ideally wanted it to be seen? Don’t the ideas matter more than the reality? Whatever the answers to these things, you have to start with the hardest task: looking the remains in the face.

“Sheltering the flame of my lamp with my hand, I would lightly touch that breast of stone. Such encounters served to complicate memory’s task; I had to put aside like a curtain the pallor of the marble to go back, in so far as possible, from those motionless contours to the living form.. Again I would resume my round; the statue, once interrogated, would relapse into darkness; a few steps away my lamp would reveal another image; these great white figures differed little from ghosts. I reflected bitterly upon those magic passes whereby the Egyptian priests had drawn the soul of the dead youth into the wooden effigies… I had done like them; I had cast a spell over stones which, in their turn, had spellbound me.”

Who is the story of your life for? Why are you creating this memory for someone? Why should one more pottery shard rule someone’s life, for however long? Is it only a decoration for an already grand tomb? Or, perhaps, is it one more way to make your peace with your own point of view before it too, is thrown on the bonfire? Hadrian is at delving into his memory as deeply as he can, and fighting it at the same time. He just wants to leave advice for an heir, and it is advice that is needed more than ever. It is, after all, being left for a young man who is at the most an afterthought- a lucky find after a series of disasters wherein the chosen heirs proved monstrously unworthy or have already died uselessly and horribly from an excess of virtue. He is simply the one left standing in the ashes while an old man is staring his death throes in the face, and, like all his predecessors, finding it difficult to let go.

So what do you do, to tell him all he should know? Someone not of your blood, who you haven’t had the education of, not really. What you can do? You tell him what happened to you- as fairly as you can, with whatever inner battles you need to fight laid open. You tell him a story. You tell him a story with as much as you can bear to tell left in, and let it go on… and on... and on. Make sure he feels the years as you build one temple after another, and fall in love and out again, win one city and watch another fall. Make sure he hears about your errors, your flaws. Especially make sure to destroy the biggest positive myth about you- he must know the way it is, lest he look to myths for support when you are gone and find nothing but air. You may have constructed gods, but he will need to support them and say why they are there, in order for them to live on. You should temper the worst tales about you, but not too much- it is better if find out for himself that you’ve no need to protest your innocence. He must feel your despair, your Spenglerian conviction that the Faustian wintertime has come, that there is nothing more to be done:

“I was beginning to find it natural, if not just, that we should perish. Our literature is nearing exhaustion, our arts are falling asleep. Pancrates is not Homer, nor is Arrian a Xenophon; when I have tried to immortalize Antonious in stone, no Praxiteles has come to hand. Our sciences have been at a standstill… our technical development is inadequate…even our pleasure seekers grow weary of delight… the masses remain wholly ignorant, fierce and cruel when they can be so, and in any case limited and selfish…”

He'll read these words, words from the mouth of a generation so far removed from his own, brought up with such wildly different expectations and knowledge about the world, irrevocably shattered by events that they could not conceive of… It could almost make you laugh with relief to read this and then think of Michelangelo’s angels screaming out of the marble. Then, almost unnecessarily, you can tell him that:

“Life is atrocious, we know. But precisely because I expect little of the human condition, man’s periods of felicity, his partial progress, his efforts to begin over again and to continue, all seem to me like so many prodigies which nearly compensate for the monstrous mass of ills and defeats, of indifference and error. Catastrophe and ruin will come; disorder will triumph, but order will too, from time to time. Peace will again establish itself between two periods of war; the words humanity, liberty, and justice will here and there regain the meaning which we have tried to give them. Not all our books will perish, nor our statues, if broken, lie unrepaired; other domes and other pediments will arise from our domes and pediments; some few men will think and work and feel as we have done, and I venture to count upon such continuations, placed irregularly throughout the centuries, and upon this kind of intermittent immortality.”

That is how you make a memory without burden- to reconcile Catcher and The Lost Estate after all. If you cannot do it, someone else will. To paraphrase Stoppard: we die on the march, but nothing is outside of it and nothing can be lost to it. If a sixteen year old math prodigy does not make calculus known to the world, another man, not long later, will do it. The weight of these statues, these ghosts, is not your obligation. They are there for those who need to look at them and find themselves in their shadows, and that is all. Time can continue to pile down minute by minute, but you are not its prisoner. Merely a welcome guest, who may stay as long as you like. If you do not choose to walk in Time’s garden, your loss will not bring haunting down upon you in another, New, world- there will be enough who choose to stay. Those who do stay will not be unmarked by it, and those who leave will be the same with their choice- we can but choose and choose and choose again. We are what we consistently do. What Time throws up for notice enough times to be remembered.

…There is an epilogue, though. Of course there is. Telling him the essential information to get through the day isn’t enough. Not even telling him a story and setting him free. No- he needs to know why you got up every morning- he needs to know about the lacunae between the temple building and warring in the desert. He has to know why he should listen to you. Digressions, pauses, and footnotes make the man, and the boy you are reading to knows that better than anyone, or he will, by the time he finishes this. So tell him about how heaven is the constellations in the Syrian night, about the wind whispering out of the sands of Judea, about the memory of an old man in a garden in Spain. He needs to know about women you cherished and men you hated. But most of all, most of all, he needs to know about the man you loved, how you loved him, and for how long- how you thought of him more and more as death came close. How Love seemed to be the way your story would end. But it wasn’t. We end with only ourselves. History is in the last line of this book- what Hadrian dies with is why History exists and should exist and we should all remember, and yes, beat on, boats against the current, borne ceaselessly back into the past.
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Quotes Kelly Liked

Marguerite Yourcenar
“He had reached that moment in life, different for each one of us, when a man abandonds himself to his demon or to his genius, following a mysterious law which bids him either to destroy or outdo himself.”
Marguerite Yourcenar, Memoirs of Hadrian

Marguerite Yourcenar
“Notre grande erreur est d'essayer d'obtenir de chacun en particulier les vertus qu'il n'a pas, et de négliger de cultiver celles qu'il possède.”
Marguerite Yourcenar, Memoirs of Hadrian


Reading Progress

06/14/2011 page 55
13.0% ""And every man feels some shame of his visage in the sully of sleep; how often, when I have risen early to read or to study, have I replaced the rumpled pillows myself, and the disordered covers, those almost obscene evidences of our encounters with nothingness, proofs that each night we have already ceased to be."
06/14/2011 page 79
19.0% ""Beyond the Euphrates began for us the land of mirage and danger, the sands where one helplessly sank, and the roads which ended in nothing." Hmmmm. That sounds familiar."
06/14/2011 page 110
27.0% ""I promised myself to save this Rome of mine from the petrification of a Themes, a Babylon or a Tyre." Its hard not to make guesses about what this is all about, when this was written by a Frenchwoman and published in 1951." 7 comments
06/15/2011 page 143
35.0% ""These sages were trying to rediscover their god above and beyond the ocean of forms, and to reduce him to that quality of the unique, intangible and incorporeal which he had foregone in the very act of becoming universe.""
06/15/2011 page 170
42.0% "Alcibiades had seduced everyone and everything, even History herself; and nevertheless he left behind him mounds of Athenian dead, abandoned in the quarries of Syracuse, his own country on the verge of collapse, and the gods of the crossroads drunkenly mutilated by his hands."
06/16/2011 page 228
56.0% ""Centuries as yet unborn within that dark womb of time would pass by thousands over that tomb without restoring life to him, but likewise without adding to his death, and without changing the fact that he had been."" 4 comments
06/16/2011 page 245
60.0% ""A world wearied of us would seek other masters; what had seem to us wise would be pointless for them.. Like the initiate into Mithraism the human race has need, perhaps, of a periodical bloodbath and descent into the grave. I could see the return of barbaric codes, of implacable gods, a world broken up into enemy states and eternally prey to insecurity... the stupid, cruel and obscene game would go on...""

Comments (showing 1-50 of 69) (69 new)


Margot This book is amazing!


Kelly Sooo looking forward to it- I'm fascinated by the whole idea of it!


Margot Kelly wrote: "Sooo looking forward to it- I'm fascinated by the whole idea of it!"
Marguerite Yourcenar is really an amazing author and it's her best book in my opinion. Enjoy your reading!


message 4: by Heather (new) - added it

Heather Kelly, I hope you don't mind my commenting. I have had this one on the shelf for far too long. Are you enjoying it?


Kelly I haven't gotten very far into it because of A Novel Bookstore and the other history I'm reading. But I at least LOVED the first 40 pages. I'm excited to get back to it soon.


message 6: by Pablo (new) - added it

Pablo Hernandez I found this in my granny's basement about six days ago -- the book belonged to my grandad --, had no idea what it was all about, and here we are!


message 7: by Kelly (last edited Jun 14, 2011 10:55AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Kelly Wow, your grandparents have good taste! If I raided my grandparents' shelves I'm pretty sure I'd come up with bibles, fishing magazines and romance novels.


message 8: by Elijah (new) - added it

Elijah Kinch Spector Huh, I never even heard of this before. "Kelly liked it but has no review yet," I thought, "I'll take a look at the page for the book, see what sort of thing it seems to be."

Welp, that goes on the library list.


Kelly It seems to be a huge classic in France/Europe that most everyone's heard of, but is definitely not promoted as part of the canon in the United States. Which I think is stupid, as this is amazing.


message 10: by Elijah (new) - added it

Elijah Kinch Spector Funny how often that happens. (I'm currently reading Poland's huge, insanely popular, national novel that everyone love. Tracking down a copy in English was damn difficult.)

Looking forward to your review!


message 11: by Heather (new) - added it

Heather Wow, I will definitely move this one up my tbr list!


Kelly Okay, finished the review. And you really should bump this up, Heather. It's very worth it!


message 13: by Stephen (new) - added it

Stephen Great review, Kelly. I am going to check this out.


Kelly You really should- I can't recommend it highly enough. Everything only really clicked for me when I read her notes on writing this at the end though- so don't skip those if you do read this!


message 15: by Stephen (new) - added it

Stephen I will make sure I don't skip them. Thanks.


message 16: by Kelly (last edited Jun 18, 2011 02:28PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Kelly I almost did, which is the only reason I say it. Not everyone is so neglectful as me, I know. I'll look forward to seeing what you think of this!


message 17: by Stephen (new) - added it

Stephen Kelly wrote: "I almost did, which is the only reason I say it. Not everyone is so neglectful as me, I know. :) I'll look forward to seeing what you think of this!"

I will certainly let you know. Your review is what makes GR such an amazing site. I would likely not have come across this without you having paved the way. Hope I can return the favor sometime.


message 18: by Kelly (last edited Jun 18, 2011 02:28PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Kelly I would have never found this without GR either, so I'm just glad that I can pass on the discovery. The majority of the books that have become my favorites over the past few years were ones I found here. I've definitely seen some books I'm interested in checking out from your reviews too (btw, I think you and Brian need to have a 'best use of graphics' competition or something. It's now a GR art form).

I guess what I'm saying is just: Yeah, this place is kind of awesome. :)


message 19: by Stephen (new) - added it

Stephen I love Brian's reviews. I need to do what he did and come up with my list of favorite reviews. When you spend as much time putting them together as some of us do, it is always nice to have them appreciated.


message 20: by Kelly (last edited Jun 18, 2011 02:29PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Kelly Yeah, I definitely hear that. I keep meaning to put together a fav review list, too! Good for conversion purposes at the very least- it is annoying when I want to recommend a book to someone but can't find the awesome review that made me want to read it in the first place. Need persuasion/brainwashing tools! :)


Manny I think it's impossible to explain why this book is so unique - you just have to read it - but you clearly gave it your best shot. Nice work :)


Manny Elizabeth wrote: "I like your thoughts on the words at the beginning. I agree, we don't seem to have that word you're looking for but I want one. I wonder if we've never had it or it exists and has fallen out of favor?"

I wondered about that too. What about Weltschmerz? Admittedly German, but it's been pretty much adopted as an English word...


Hirondelle Ah, saudade, you mean. Maybe that is your word, though do not ask me to explain what it is (wait, maybe I will better just crawl away from this thread), and no there is no concept for saudade or for what you are describing in English (nor in French as far as I know, though my French is very sketchy and handwavy)

And it is a very good point from you. I knew your review of this was going to be very good!


Kelly Ah, saudade, you mean. Maybe that is your word, though do not ask me to explain what it is

I don't think any of these words can really be translated, or explained, not completely. They are so particular to their language and context. It makes so much sense that Portugal would have their word, too (and such a perfect one- I think it is my favorite one yet- thank you so much for sharing, I would never have known)- everyone but the New World, it seems. I wonder if it will just take another few centuries and a Fall before English gets its own word, or a word we already have acquires the meaning these words have.


message 25: by Eric (new) - rated it 5 stars

Eric I've been saving this review, like a treat, all evening. I was on my phone, waiting dutifully outside a Victoria's Secret changing room, when I saw it and thought: no, later, when it's quiet around. This is so good Kelly! And I see the epilogue has got you to add Flaubert's letters. He says in one, "when everything is dead, the imagination will rebuild entire worlds from a few elderflower twigs and the shards of a chamber pot."


message 26: by Kelly (last edited Jul 29, 2012 09:22AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Kelly I've been saving this review, like a treat, all evening. I was on my phone, waiting dutifully outside a Victoria's Secret changing room, when I saw it and thought: no, later, when it's quiet around. This is so good Kelly!

Thank you so much, Eric!

And I see the epilogue has got you to add Flaubert's letters. He says in one, "when everything is dead, the imagination will rebuild entire worlds from a few elderflower twigs and the shards of a chamber pot."

I'd never read that before, but I think this just proves that Flaubert and I are Meant to Be. Though I think I could hardly avoid reading him much longer if I wanted to (and I don't but)- the more French lit I read, the more it seems inevitable. It's almost as bad as not reading Rousseau (shhdonttellthemimgettingthereasap!). I'm looking forward to it, though. I love every fragment I find of his letters.


Kelly except for his influence on French thought, which you're probably going to need if you keep reading these other books.

Aye, there's the rub! I'm starting to feel like I'm attending a club where I don't know the secret password. I mean, I know the general idea, but it isn't the same. Rousseau and I are going to spend some quality time this winter. Flaubert first, though! The writer of Madame Bovary wins over the writer of Emilie any day.


message 28: by Eric (new) - rated it 5 stars

Eric Elizabeth, if Davis is needed to sugar the pill, then so be it!


Kelly I was trying to choose a translation, actually, so I'm glad to know that exists. I hope it isn't exactly a pill though- I'm looking forward to it!


message 30: by Miriam (new)

Miriam Are you familiar with the Russian word Toska? My understanding is that it is like the feeling you describe, only focused more on one's self than on the world.


message 31: by Eric (last edited Jun 19, 2011 09:53AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Eric Not a pill at all! One of the most pleasurable novels ever written.


message 32: by Kelly (last edited Jun 19, 2011 10:01AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Kelly Miriam wrote: "Are you familiar with the Russian word Toska? My understanding is that it is like the feeling you describe, only focused more on one's self than on the world."

I didn't know about that one either. But the more languages I find out about that have this word, the more I support the teaching of foreign languages. I feel a bit deprived! The unconscious constructors of usage in the English language made some terrible choices about which words to steal and which not to. How dare they!

And thanks Eric- I am reassured!


message 33: by Miriam (new)

Miriam the more languages I find out about that have this word, the more I support the teaching of foreign languages

I agree completely. I think this is important for intellectual development and cultural comprehension. I wonder if learning a more "different" language from one's own has a stronger effect than a more similar language? I only ever learned Romance languages, although I took one semester each of German and Greek.


Kelly I wonder if learning a more "different" language from one's own has a stronger effect than a more similar language? I only ever learned Romance languages, although I took one semester each of German and Greek.

Hmmm- maybe. Though I tried learning German myself and I didn't find it as "different"/difficult as people said. What was interesting in college was that my friends who took Arabic and Mandarin were the ones who had their minds blown. I think when you have to go back to the stage of learning even the characters for the alphabet, or writing right to left instead of left to right.. that might really be the thing.

And Elizabeth, I don't think you should make yourself read anything where your major feeling about it is "maybe, one day". :) Too many good books on the to-read pile for that!


message 35: by Miriam (new)

Miriam My mother tried to teach me Russian grammar once when I was 7 or 8, and it made my head hurt.


message 36: by Kelly (last edited Jun 19, 2011 12:37PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Kelly Miriam wrote: "My mother tried to teach me Russian grammar once when I was 7 or 8, and it made my head hurt."

Oh dear. At 7 or 8? That's just mean! I once had a class I was always early for due to my schedule and I always sat in a lobby waiting to go into the class with a bunch of kids who were in a Russian class next door. They got there an hour early before every class just to try to study- but mostly commisserate about failing out of school. I tried to tell them that the Cold War was over and offered up the pleasures of French, but I think they ended up liking the bonding of their shared trauma or something.

I say maybe one day about a lot of books. I'm really just following one fancy after another.

Fair enough- I certainly didn't expect that I would be reading Flaubert soon, or even in the next several years. Books lead you to other books- the way it should be!


message 37: by Eric (new) - rated it 5 stars

Eric The middle is sadder than the end, which comes as a smiling deliverance.


message 38: by Bram (new) - rated it 4 stars

Bram Fantastic review, Kelly!


Kelly Thanks!


Margot Amazing review, very clever and deep. It makes true justice to this wonderful book. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to be able to read a really good book for the first time again.


Myles Loved this review too, this was one of the first wholly never-heard-of books that Goodreads introduced me to.

I was reminded by this of a great word from old English, dustceawung. I think it comes close to what you're looking for, it touches on great sadness and loss but also accepting the inevitability of it.


Kelly I see what you're getting at, and I think that these words are all in the same family, but I'm not sure if Romantic Byronic despair is quite what I'm getting at. Or at least all of it in any case. I think what I'm talking about is about the awareness of loss and the inability to do anything about it... but it's more of a... I don't know, group, community or culture oriented feeling, I think. It's heavy, I guess. Has to do with Time, I think. An awareness of how the cycles come back and back again. I don't think it's just existential despair.

ARGH. This is what I mean- I can't describe it in English. We're all hitting around it, and I'm positive we all know what this means, kind of. But there's not that kind of implicit, unspoken understanding that there is when there's just that one word and no one needs to talk about it anymore. I don't know, maybe that's a good thing. We do end up considering a lot more in discussion this way.


Kelly I know what you mean and I think a lot of writers have spent a lot of time trying to describe it and only a few really get it right but the books that do succeed in getting it right are the ones you love. I bet if we had a simple word for it, there wouldn't be as many good books trying to capture it.

I think this is right. I suppose we should choose to look on the bright side and be grateful for our thieving language that makes that sort of exploration possible. "It's the wanting to know that makes us matter". And makes us write good literature in this case.


message 44: by Jim (last edited Jun 23, 2011 04:06PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Jim See if you can find Todd Shimoda's Oh! A Novel of Mono No Aware which deals head-on with the phrase. Also, see if you can find some of the great mono no aware films of Yasujiro Ozu, such as Tokyo Story (1953) and Late Spring (1949).


Kelly Thanks for the recommendations! I am woefully ignorant of Japanese culture, so I really appreciate it. I'm glad to know that so many other people are interested in this particular grey area of meaning.


message 46: by Szplug (new)

Szplug Yep, this review really is aces, Kelly. Fantastic stuff.


message 47: by mark (new) - rated it 5 stars

mark monday lovely review


Kelly Thanks, both of you!


message 49: by [deleted user] (new)

America is the anti- this word. America is founded on the promise that everyone should be free to not know what this word means, and moreover that its residents should make it a point to laugh at it when they see it. This word is silly, eye-roll inducing, a “stage”. It is helpful that in the United States, imitations and shadows of it are mostly laughable, thought of as a way to sell black lipstick to 16 year old goth girls

I'm in awe of you.



message 50: by Kelly (last edited Oct 01, 2011 02:27AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Kelly I really do think that this book, among other wonderful points it makes, sharply underlines (at least for an American reader) how people forget about what the New World meant to Europeans, and therefore how its shaped the collective consciousness of the West. It's hard to understate what a huge, amazingly mindblowing deal it was and what a difference it made- and how Americans can't really understand that. The phantom word I'm talking about is the gap that sums up so many differences, I think.

Anyway, thanks and I do hope you're enjoying your read of this one!


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