Penny's Reviews > Fallen

Fallen by Lauren Kate
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Dec 04, 13

bookshelves: worst-book-ever, should-never-have-been-published, reviewed-books, paranormal-romance, ya-fiction, angels-demons, wish-i-could-unread
Recommended for: Anyone who's a glutton for punishment
Read in December, 2009

First off, I'd have given this book zero stars were it possible, but since it isn't I gave it one star. This book is full of fail, end of story. There is no other way to describe this book, really.

That's a lie. There is another way to describe how bad this book is. Take everything that sucked about the Twilight series and multiply that by any number (except zero. Or one. Or any negative number. Aw, crap, you know what I mean). Because really, this book is a bad version of Twilight except with fallen angels instead of vampires. Oh, and, compared to this book, Twilight is a friggin' literary masterpiece. That's how bad this book is.

You think Bella is irritating? Meet Luce Price, the most irritating protagonist ever. She's stupid (yet still somehow incredibly smart, according to her grades), a creepy stalker, and has zero sense of self-worth or shame.

When Daniel, this story's "hero", flips Luce the bird and then proceeds to treat her like garbage--on several occasions--what does Luce do? She instantly becomes obsessed with Daniel and breaks into the school records room to find out more about him. Not once does she think she might be crossing a line by going through someones private records. Obviously, talking to him--like a normal person would--to find out more about him, is out of the question, amirite? Oh, and when a guy treats a girl like garbage that is actually code for TRULUV4EVA.

Look, I could go on and on about how idiotic this book is, but I won't since I have better things to do, like, write hate mail to the publisher of this book. Seriously, I'd be hard pressed to find a book that is worse then this flaming pile of garbage, and had I a time machine I'd use it to go back in time in order to stop myself from ever reading this book.

To sum up my review: Worst. Book. I've. Ever. Read. EVER. (yes, the second 'ever' was entirely necessary) An incredible waste of time and money, and ink, and trees...I could go on (and on and on...). This book makes babies cry.

Edit: As of February 26, 2010 over nine hundred goodreads users think this book is amazing*. Amazing?! Really??? I mean, don't get me wrong, I fully understand really liking a book that has little to no literary value (see my guilty pleasures shelf for proof). But amazing? Come on people! Five stars really should be reserved for the classics--great literary works, or something that really moves you emotionally; makes you think on a deeper level then usual; makes you want to be a better person.

It is beyond me that anyone truly loves this book. Seriously.

I'm sure a lot of you are wondering why, if I hated this book so much, I read the entire thing. Originally, after only reading the first few chapters of this book I hurled it across the room in a fit of anger (and no, I'm not a rageaholic. This book--the fact that it was published and I was duped into wasting money on it--just enraged me that much). But I had to finish it. I just had to. Because I was dumb enough to believe it got better--but it didn't. It just got worse and worse as the book continued. The absolute worst part is this book is 452 pages long, and the first 400 pages contain no plot whatsoever.

Though I already mentioned how much I dislike the protagonist I feel I should add: Luce is an insipid creature (read: TSTL). All she does is think of the most mundane crap--stuff that isn't in the least bit important or interesting--it almost makes you want to take a drill to your own head. At one point she even wonders what size shoe Daniel wears--mind you this is during the same period if time he's sending out strong 'I hate Luce' vibes like nobody's business.

And yeah, for a girl who may or may not have accidentally on purpose killed the last boy she liked, it's truly creepy how easily she gets over it and readily moves on to the next victims boys. Is she that messed up and desensitized? Seems to me Luce is a sociopath and should be in prison, not reform school.

Speaking of said reform school: It's laughable how the security is practically non-existent. Did the author do any research on reform schools? I mean, come on! These teens--not counting Penn--are at this reform school because they are more then a little dangerous to themselves and/or others. They are there to be reformed, not kindasorta babysat.

I really could go on about the massive plot holes contained in this novel--of which there are several--but I won't. I'm just going to say one last thing: I'm shocked that something this bad could be published and then--I kid you not--be optioned for a film. Really Disney? You really want to take this horribly written excuse of a novel and make it into a movie? Are you that hard up for script ideas? Really??? Fine, go ahead. Perpetuate the death of all good literature. Celebrate mediocrity. Rape the young minds of our society. I mean, everyone else is doing it, why not join in. As long as you make a buck who cares, amirite???

---

*Quick review of goodreads rating system: five stars='amazing', four stars='really liked it', three stars='liked it', two stars='it was okay', one star='didn't like it'

---

UPDATE (06/27/11): Over 300 people like this review. Yay. I WIN THE INTERNET! Or at least I win a medal in the Crazy Rant About A Horrible Book category. I'd like to thank everyone who made this possible: Goodreads friends, followers of my reviews and everyone else who read and voted for my review--I couldn't have done this without any of you. Also, special thanks go out to Al Gore, the creators of Goodreads, Delacorte Press, whoever green-lighted this book, all the trees that selflessly laid down their lives so this book could be put into print and, of course, Lauren Kate. Peace Out.

Wolverines!
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Comments (showing 1-50 of 282) (282 new)


message 1: by Colleen (new)

Colleen I loved your review, I laughed so hard especially abou the time machine part. I only just started reading the book and Im having a hard time getting into it. We'll see if I finish it.


Frankie i found your review so funny
and i do have to partly agree with you

i took me a while to get in to it, and then nothing happen till the last few chapters, but i found my self having to read it cos i wanted to know and then it doesn't even tell you.
and i know cam was crazy in the end but at least he liked her.

any way just thought i'd let you know that this book is going to be a 4 part series, i found out today
what a joy


Penny Thanks for your comments. :)

What can I say, I'm extremely disappointed with this book.

Normally when a book is poorly written, or isn't quite keeping my attention, I simply give up on it. But this--this book really got under my skin. As I read it I was actually choking on my rage!

I'm tired of seeing the protagonists in YA novels be such helpless simpering fools; Girls who have no redeeming qualities whatsoever! The worst part is these undeserving idiots always manage to have the most amazing--incredibly beautiful--boys fighting over them.

Ugh! I have a whole laundry list of complaints but I get all worked up every time I think about them. I cannot allow myself to go there again.

*takes calming breath*

So yeah, if either of you are looking to cleanse your heads of the atrocity that is Fallen you might want to pick up Incarceron. I'm half-way through and loving it. Speaking of, I'm going to do a little more reading before my little one gets up from her nap.


message 4: by Colleen (new)

Colleen I agree with you, the helpless, simpering female characters are annoying. Im reading a cute YA novel right now that is worth reading. Its called "Bedeviled: Daddy's little angel". By Shani Petroff.

It's written well and I think the author really captures the "teenage attitude and voice" accurately. That is to say "Angel" is a very believable character in the book.

It's a quick read and at times very funny. Anyway, thanks for the book suggestion, I will look into Incarceron.


message 5: by Penny (last edited May 13, 2010 09:39AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Penny @ D.m.:

You're right about the feelings thing. It's just that the feelings this book invokes for me aren't good. I couldn't stop cringing. The stuff Luce does--it's all just so embarrassing. This girl is breaking all the rules, and not in a good way. The crap she pulls would make any mortal boy run for his life. I guess it's a good thing she just so happens to be stalking a fallen angel, since they don't seem to have any sense of personal boundaries.

And yeah, I pretty tired of stumbling across books with a Twilight premise. Particularly since that series really wasn't all that great in the end.

About the religious thing: You're right. It's just that, was the "religious version of Twilight" really needed since everyone already seems to think Twilight is a religious thing? I keep hearing Twilight is a bunch of mormon propaganda (not that I see any connection myself, but a lot of goodreads reviewers seem to).

I keep reading reviews for Fallen, saying Lauren Kate is particularly skilled at stringing words together (just like you've said) but I didn't notice it. Granted, I was livid that her story got published and I spent money on it (because the cover was so pretty *kicks self for the millionth time*) that I didn't take time to appreciate her style of writing. I almost want to pick this book up again and see if I appreciate her brand of writing.

But no. That's not going to happen.


Frankie it seems like most books i read now , well the ones recommended by my friend
all have weak females, or there somrthing amazing and fantasy like about the male, and it is really pissing me off. pardon my language.
because i love fanstasy books, but it's like cos that would happen;
your 16 or 17 and u meet ur perfect match.
then you don't talk much or he hate her
but after one look u love him and would die to save him
and of course he doesn't want to drag her into his world so hes evil.
but they have one convo, and there in love
face a problem
and live happily ever after

like any of this would happen in real life, as you can tell i'm very annoyed, and this is why i'm reading the shining by stephen king. i recommend it, if u want to try someting different and it still has a fantasy element to it


madaline dannis I really haven't read this book but your review are so fu*king awsome! -my name is kate. HI! lol


message 8: by Annalisa (last edited Mar 19, 2010 03:16PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Annalisa Hey Penny,
I haven't talked to you since the rage against Breaking Dawn, which I just realized you posted part of my review in your comments :). But here we are again. Why or why are these books getting published?! I didn't even care enough to write out all the things that were so inconsistent with this story like I did then. I just wanted to close the book. I didn't think a character could get worse than Bella until I met Luce. The sad thing is that while I think Bella is exactly the way Meyer wants her, I think Kate used Luce to turn away from anything that would give us any answers. Kate tried so hard to give us nothing, almost 500 pages of nothing. I didn't learn anything I couldn't have learned from the title. I'm at a loss too to understand why so many people loved the book.


message 9: by Niharika. (new) - added it

Niharika. I 100% agree with your review. Please kick me if I ever buy a book because of it's cover again.


Crystal There is going to be a movie??? How, why????


message 11: by Becky (new)

Becky I have not read this, and thankfully haven't bought it yet either, but I just saw your review on a friend's update feed, and had to peek.

Your review is hilarious! And I love that you created a "Worst Book Ever" shelf just for this book.


message 12: by Trudi (new)

Trudi You may very well have saved me from a gigantic waste of time, so thanks very much! With so many rich and wonderful books out there, I think I'll pass on this one. After reading your passionately negative review I realize everything that bugged you about this book, will likely bug me to. And since I'm not even a Twilight fan, and not remotely interested in becoming one, I should doubly pass. I'm a sucker for Angel mythology and the premise seemed intriguing, but if it's this poorly executed, I'll keep looking for my Angel fix someplace else!


message 13: by Arielle (new) - added it

Arielle Don't know you but I love your review , so funny . Difinetly not reading it


Zulya Thatz not fair, I mean if you don't like the type of genre of the book then don't bother reading it but there is a reason why everybody else loved it. How did twilight get sooo popular? Btw I haven't read twilight but I absolutely hate the movie (sooo slow and awkwaard). I liked fallen, it was very gothic and beautiful.


message 15: by Penny (last edited May 13, 2010 09:43AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Penny I actually like--liked--this genre. Paranormal romance used to be pretty good. But now there are way too many books like this.

Ever since Twilight it seems that every paranormal romance follows the same formula: new girl at a new school who immediately finds herself crazily attracted to a mysterious guy who doesn't seem the least bit interested in her. There are a lot of similarities but I just don't want to list them all (because there are too many).

Twilight got popular because it was somewhat groundbreaking when it was published, but now, like I just said, most new paranormal romances are thinly veiled knock-offs of the Twilight series. Authors are just getting lazy and not even trying to come up with original ideas. That is incredibly sad.

Just because everybody loves a book doesn't mean it's actually good. It just means a lot of people are passive readers who only want their happy ending, giving little thought or care as to how it's reached. They don't take the time to really think about the plot or characters and what motivates them.

There is nothing wrong with being a passive reader. Like I said in my review, I totally understand liking books with little to no literary value. I love plenty of stupid books. But I hate reading about some supposed über-smart girl who is actually insanely stupid; protagonists that do the most irrational things with absolutely no logic to back them up.

And, I'm sorry, but why can't authors take the time to show us how their characters fall in love, instead of just telling us they're in love with little to no explanation as to why. That is an example of incredibly lazy writing if you ask me. Besides, everyone knows the joy is in the chase, the 'what if?' As in, 'what if that guy actually likes me?' Or 'What if I like him too?' AND 'Is he flirting with me?'

Just making your characters be in love magically/inexplicably is lame and removes one of the most exciting elements in a paranormal romance.

It was this book that put an end to my enjoyment of this genre. So it's not like I went out and bought a book from a genre I don't even like, because that would be stupid. And yeah, I could have stopped reading this book, but I didn't because I couldn't believe something so--in my opinion--ridiculous could be published. Plus everyone was RAVING about this book here on goodreads. I figured it was one of those books that maybe started weak but got better later on. But no, that didn't happen either.

I don't know if you noticed this but there is hardly any plot during the first four-hundred pages of this book. NOTHING really happens. And no, a girl thinking obsessively about some mysterious guy does not a plot make.

And when something actually does happen we don't even get to experience it. All Luce does is sum up what Daniel told her during some awesome conversation that supposedly answered all of Luce's questions. WHY did the author do this??? Why couldn't we have actually read about the encounter instead of having Luce summing it up in a few paragraphs. That exchange is the most important in this whole book, but the author was too lazy/stupid to actually write out the whole exchange. I find that incredibly infuriating.


message 16: by Penny (last edited May 13, 2010 09:46AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Penny P.S. The Twilight movie is definitely one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I don't blame you for not liking it. I don't understand how anyone could like it.

P.P.S. Robert Pattenson is incredibly unattractive.

P.P.P.S. Zulya wrote: "Thatz not fair"

I'm assuming you're saying my not liking this book, and then telling everyone what I think about it, is not fair. To that I say, I purchased the book with the assumption that I would like this book. I didn't, and for a good reason. I can tell people that I think this book is a flaming pile of garbage. That's my right as a human being.

Also, I feel someone should warn others that this book sucks. And just because I don't agree with the majority about this book, doesn't mean I'm some freak of nature who doesn't know what is good.


Zulya Ok... Chill


Kat Kennedy LOL. Penny this review was hilarious.

But first of all *cries* RPatz is SOOOOoooo hawt liek yu cant se that?

And obviously this book is so awesome it is beyond reproach, beyond intelligent discussion and beyond literary analysis and any personal opinion that goes against it.

I know how you feel about getting sick of this genre. I'm so sick of the brooding, immortal male character. I think if I ever met one in real life I'd run away because I just can't take any more intensive, pensive stares that go deep into my soul, robbing me of whatever brains I have and forcing me to become some crazy, obsessive stalker, begging for a crumb of said-brooding man's attention.

*Goes on the look out for a nice, happy, well-adjusted male protagonist with no deep, dark part of his soul that he needs to burden me with*


message 19: by Penny (last edited May 13, 2010 09:47AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Penny Kat wrote: "*Goes on the look out for a nice, happy, well-adjusted male protagonist with no deep, dark part of his soul that he needs to burden me with*"

Let me know if you ever find one of those. I'm thinking such a man doesn't exist in YA paranormal romance, especially these days.

P.S. Thanks for liking my review even though it's more of an angry rant then anything else. This book made my blood boil so much I was incapable of writing a sensible review of this piece of poo. And, I'm sorry, but I can't understand why so many people think this book is super awesome. (because this book is the exact opposite of super awesome)


Ashleigh I have'nt read the book. I was going too, but have changed my mind. I think you should become a profesional book critic. I love the way you critique the book thank you Penny for saving me from reading this book. :)


message 21: by Bethany (new)

Bethany this is why i read adult paranormal romance lol


message 22: by Judy (new)

Judy LOL.
I loved your review!


message 23: by Akin (new)

Akin Best review I've ever read! lmao!


message 24: by Kathryn (new) - added it

Kathryn Billiot Wow thank you so much haha! This book was one of my choices for summer reading senior year and I completely agree with everything you said!


Kat Kennedy Penny, you angry ranting far surpasses most "reviews" because it is all so enlightening and enjoyable!

I just can't believe this is being made into a movie!


message 26: by [deleted user] (new)

Nice. I love vengeful reviews.


Heather Hear, hear!


message 28: by Yuval (new)

Yuval Penny wrote: P.P.S. Robert Pattenson is incredibly unattractive."

Thank God! Finally someone with actual taste in men! Robert Pattison grosses me out in every Twilight movie! (although I must admit I watch those movies because of him... How can I pass up such perfect opportunities to make fun of him?)

By the way, I loved your review! Really funny!

p.s you actually made a book shelf just for this book? LOL


pookiefly Hi Penny.

I didn't mind the book itself (probably 2 or 3 stars), wouldn't say it's amazing, but i did love your review. I totally understand where you're coming from, i felt like i didn't really understand alot of what was going on (because the main character didn't understand, so obviously the reader didn't find out, and we were never told).

I just wanted to say 'thank god' there are other people out there who don't understand the whole, 'i'm the main character. so obviously the hottest guy in school falls madly in love with me even though we've never spoken and have absolutely nothing in common. but i'm the main character, so love me.'

getting so sick of that BS.


Melissa LOLLL okay your review killed me, frigging hilarious.

Personal opinion, an amazing YA supernatural series is Vampire Academy. Rose Hathaway is kick ass to the greatest degree :). If you haven't read it i think you should give it a shot.

Ps Finally someone on this planet doesn't think RP is some sort of gift from god... Another personal opinion, he has a huge freaking head.


Mariela Zulya wrote: "Thatz not fair, I mean if you don't like the type of genre of the book then don't bother reading it but there is a reason why everybody else loved it. How did twilight get sooo popular? Btw I haven..."

Twilight books are good, you should read them


Mariela I think everyone should give any book a try, go online find somewhere the first , second chapter, go to the bookstore and read them there, to see if you like it.Just because someone did not like the book, it does not mean you are not going to like it, to those that are saying that did not buy the book and because of this review are not going to buy it, just go to the library and read some chapters for free. I was told that if you want to see if a book is good, you should open the book in the middle and if what you read is interesting, it might be a good book. I always read reviews before buying books, but anyway if it is a genre that i like,i like to give it a shot because i might like it but other people might not.
This book was good to me, but there was A LOT OF UNANSWERED QUESTIONS (that left me very confused) obviously to get people to buy the second book.
Everyone have a great day!!
Sorry about my English


message 33: by Brian (new) - rated it 1 star

Brian Dear Miss Penny,


I must say that your review, was delightfully hysterical. Instead of sitting myself down and actually opening the book, I went to the local library and got the book on audio instead of me wasting my time, effort, and my hard earned money going to Barnes and Noble and purchasing the book. I would agree full-HEARTEDLY (emphasising this would require a big NEON BROADWAY sign that was placed in bold, italics, and underlined) that this book was just the reincarnation of Twilight but with fallen angels... It broke my heart that I actually wasted my time reading such a depressing book. Though, I do have a deep seeded love for the supernatural, this book placed a dark hole in my soul. I cannot get that piece back. Thank you for your time! Best wishes.


B


message 34: by Penny (last edited Jun 06, 2010 10:07PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Penny Wow! I'm surprised by how much attention this crazy rant/review has been getting. When I first wrote this review I was fueled by rage. I was totally incredulous that this book had so many positive reviews.

Had it not been for all the positive reviews, along with the pretty cover, I never would have picked this piece of garbage up. At the time I reviewed this book there were only 15-20 people who gave this book one star, and only a few of those people had taken the time to write a review.

Anyway, thanks for all the votes and/or comments, even the negative ones. I don't mind if you don't like my point of view. But, seriously, I don't think the lovers of this book need to worry about one negative review. Even people on my friends list read this book, after they read my review. This review didn't stop them (though one of them mentioned that she wished she had taken my review more seriously because reading this book was a soul-sucking experience for her. I'm just sayin').


Kat Kennedy I'm going to be reading this book shortly, just to prove that Penny's awesome review didn't stop me - but I'm not going into it with any expectations other than the wasting of a few brain cells.


Annalisa Kat wrote: "I'm going to be reading this book shortly, just to prove that Penny's awesome review didn't stop me - but I'm not going into it with any expectations other than the wasting of a few brain cells."

NOOOO! Don't do it! If I lived by you, I would physically restrain you. Okay, is that a little creepy stalkerish? Welcome to the life of Luce Price.


message 37: by Bry (new) - rated it 1 star

Bry Good luck Kat, you are a brave one. I wish I could get back the brain cells I killed when reading this book.


Kat Kennedy LOL - You're not the first person to insist on restraining me - just so you know. If it hurts too much, or if the sensation relates too well to a frontal lobotomy then I promise to put it down and back away VERY slowly. I'm getting it from the library so at least I won't be wasting my money. I just have to wait in line behind all the fifteen year olds.


message 39: by Penny (new) - rated it 1 star

Penny Kat wrote: "I'm going to be reading this book shortly, just to prove that Penny's awesome review didn't stop me - but I'm not going into it with any expectations other than the wasting of a few brain cells."

Good luck with that. This book is really...special. And, just so you know, I'm dumber for having read this whole entire book.


leksie I've had this book for a couple months and started reading it last week.. I'm on about the 150th page and so far agree with everything your review says. I don't think I'll continue reading it.. I'm just not into it. It sucks so insanely bad.. I think the concept of Angels is becoming a fad just like Vampires did. There are some good ones, but this isn't one of them. And I agree about Bella, also. I mean Luce.


message 41: by Shannon (new)

Shannon Wow you really didn't like this "book" lol, I haven't read it but after reading you're review I don't intend to. So thank you!!! :D


message 42: by Katya (new) - rated it 1 star

Katya I love this review. I've only read about 20 pages of the book so far but I can already tell I'm going to hate it.

As far as the movie is concerned, though, it might actually be decent. I mean, look at the Vampire Diaries - the books were absolute crap, but the TV show was actually decent, as far as guilty pleasure entertainment goes.


Brittany I agree with this review except for the part where she trashes the twilight series because I am a big fan and I think this book is nothing like any of the the twilight books. All of the twilight books have a plot to it but this book dose not! I was lost from start to finish with this book.


message 44: by Sarah (new) - rated it 1 star

Sarah Hey penny I totally agree with this reveiw! I thought it was a good idea but it definetly wasn't executed well. There is a paranormal romance that I'm just starting that I'm interested in hearing your opinion on if you are interested. It's called the dark divine. I'm not very into it yet but I think I might like it by the time I am done.


message 45: by Miri (new) - rated it 2 stars

Miri I loved your review and this was probably not the intent your very long review was meant to have but I want to read it just to know what you're talking about!


message 46: by Shaun (new)

Shaun Joyce hahahahaha I had to like this review because you went the f**k off on this book... you just convinced me not to bother with this book and I thank you :D


Chantay You said everything I couldn't say about this crappy novel.


Izumi HAHA I loved your review! That is SO true, the girl was so annoyingly brainless, plus a part time stalker/psycho.... And Daniel. Ugh. Just- Ugh. I woulda wanted her to go for the Cam dude except that hes evilish and all.... oh, well that can't be helped. and plus yeah, when (and why) does she decide that shes "in love" with him? cuz I sure don't remember it. And they BARELY TALKED. I spent half the time reading this book yelling at Luce "GIRL! Can't you tell he wants NOTHING to do with you? but NOOOO you keep on being all desperate. This does NOT help our case against those sexist people who think that males are the stronger gender or watever. Sigh." yes. i talk to (scream at) fictional characters. but you kno, at least im not as much of a weirdo as SOMEONE coughLUCEcough is.

btw: yes. i put 5 stars. what can I say? I hav love/hate relationships with books. :)


message 49: by Simon (new)

Simon Penny, first of all: Your review freaking killed me! You should do this shit for a living!

Second, I agree with just about everything you said. I was more then a little shocked when I read about the possible screen adaptation of this absolutely horrible piece of "literature". I just couldn't endure like you did - I only lasted a few chapters.

Vengeful and lovable review!


Synesthesia (SPIDERS!) I'm sick of broody pouting men.
They annoy me.
I'm trying to read this book, but it's annoying me quite a bit, but not as much as City of Glass which is making me growl on the toilet.


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