Amy's Reviews > Laughter is an Instant Vacation

Laughter is an Instant Vacation by Mac Anderson
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Nov 09, 09

bookshelves: humor, nonfiction
Read in November, 2009

Looking for a good, laugh-out-loud, funny book of quotes? Then this is your book!

Some of the best quotes:

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. -- George Carlin

I'm a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor

You can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you better know something. -- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors. -- David Brenner

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Does that sound right? That means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. -- Jerry Seinfeld

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to. -- Jerry Seinfeld

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. -- George Burns

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours. -- Yogi Berra

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then it doesn't hurt. -- Charles M. Schulz

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance? -- Phyllis Diller

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. -- Flip Wilson

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. -- Cathy Guisewite

Tell a man there are 300 billions stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure. -- Murphy's Law

Adolescence is when children start trying to bring up their parents. -- Richard Armour

If nobody knows the trouble you've seen, you don't live in a small town. -- Unknown

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. -- Oscar Wilde

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