Paul's Reviews > Amok Journal Sensurround Edition

Amok Journal Sensurround Edition by Stewart Swezey
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Oct 05, 12

bookshelves: verysleazyfun
Recommended for: people with a grand sense of humour

Health warning : This is a big glossy book of essays about the outer edges of society.

It's fun.

Oh, all right, it's actually not fun.

When you open up this big glossy book you'll see the first section of the book is called "Autoerotic Fatalities". So of course you'll just have to read it right there and then, and then when you've finished, including the sub-section called "Conversation with an Asphyxiophiliac" (they obviously got to him in time) you'll find that your complexion is now an unappealing sea-green and you rather wish you hadn't read it at all, and you'll find yourself looking upon the simplest domestic items with new insight - the curtain rail, the ironing board and the humble carrot will never be so innocent again - but at least now you can regale your friends and relatives with descriptions of photos captioned "view of the body showing chain harness attached to car bumper" and "the deceased slumped over a vacuum cleaner on a dining room table".

But, you know, this book is very useful in bringing to a sudden halt otherwise tedious situations. When the Jehovah Witnesses come to the door next time, tell them that there's something that has been bothering you recently. Keep the Amok Journal handy, near the front door, and then you'll be able to grab it and show them page 112 and say

"Isn't it terrible what goes on on the modern world.. what does the Bible say about about autoasphyxiation? Is it technically a sin at all?? And what about trepanation? It was an ancient technique used to exorcise evil spirits from people's brains. Fairly crude really, you just got a hammer and bashed out a chunk of skull. Would you disapprove? Was Jesus trepanned or did he trepan other people? And what about this section here... page 210... people that like to suspend themselves from the ceiling with hooks through their flesh - what does the Bible say about that? Oh, don't run away... Jehovah's Witnesses, please come back!"
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Comments (showing 1-24 of 24) (24 new)

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message 1: by Monica (new)

Monica Honey, you must stop reading this stuff.


message 2: by Jessica (new)

Jessica Where does he even find these things?? Um, not like I have any vested interest whatsoever in finding them myself, naturally I'm only curious.


message 3: by Noran (new) - added it

Noran Miss Pumkin Love your review and plan to get my copy off of amazon soon. thanks!


message 4: by Noran (new) - added it

Noran Miss Pumkin Trepanation--my father had a set from Bali--it was beyond cool.


Paul You mean implements to trepan people? Ooee!


message 6: by Noran (new) - added it

Noran Miss Pumkin Yes, a pretty folding out kit, the woodwork was beautiful and a delight ti the eyes. father bought it not knowing what it was. I figured it out with the images painted on the kit and the various shapes
of the mini spears-that is what they looked like.


Paul I bet that would fetch a bob or three on Cash in the Attic!


message 8: by Richard (new)

Richard Thank you, Paul, for bringing this book to my attention. I'm off to wash my eyes out with soap, but I fear I shall spend the night wondering whether the curtain rail, ironing board and carrot were employed individually or simultaneously.



Paul I could tell you but I fear I might place unacceptable images in your brain which any amount of carbolic soap would not remove.


message 10: by Richard (new)

Richard Thanks to your thoughtful gesture, Nottingham is no longer the last place on earth I would want to visit.

The carrot is is impaled on end of the curtain rail, isn't it? With the subject lashed to the ironing board?

Don't answer that.


message 11: by Miriam (new)

Miriam this could be useful in bringing to a sudden halt otherwise tedious conversations

You jest, but in fact I found this technique very useful for stopping conservative christian men from asking me out at university.

Also, with some adaptation it can be used to encourage conversation. Once I had some friends over for dinner and they weren't talking, so I related a humorous anecdote involving a friend who was unable to open the door back into his workplace after giving a handjob in the parking lot. For years after when banter flagged I had only to ask, "What shall we talk about? Or must I tell another story?" and my friends would leap to fill the conversational void.


message 12: by Paul (new) - rated it 4 stars

Paul Ha, love that Miriam! Was it the autoasphyxiation or the trepanning that put off those cautious Christians?


message 13: by Miriam (last edited Jan 04, 2011 09:38AM) (new)

Miriam Usually all it took was mentioning that I was from San Francisco, to be honest.


message 14: by Kris (new)

Kris Frankly, I think we need more coffee table books with sections on "Autoerotic Fatalities."


message 15: by Manny (new)

Manny Is "Swezey" pronounced to rhyme with "sleazy" or "lazy"?


message 16: by Paul (new) - rated it 4 stars

Paul I think your guests would spill their coffee.


message 17: by Paul (last edited Oct 05, 2012 09:34AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Paul "Swezey" is pronounced "aargh, my head! aargh, my tearing flesh!"

And I'm not sure why he gets to be listed twice.


message 18: by Kris (new)

Kris Paul wrote: "I think your guests would spill their coffee."

Ah, but imagine the stimulating conversations.....


message 19: by Trevor (new)

Trevor I had much the same reaction when I found out Kinsey liked to put the business end of his toothbrush down the eye of his penis. It was a reverse of the million monkeys typing Shakespeare. You could have left me alone in a room with a toothbrush for the rest of my life and it would never have occurred to me that might be something I could do with it.


message 20: by Paul (last edited Oct 06, 2012 03:14PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Paul I find this a little boggling. The said eye would have had to be considerably enlarged already to be able to encompass a toothbrush without serious damage & loss of blood, one might imagine. Who does this info come from and if Kinsey himself, is there any corroboration, photographic evidence, sworn affadavits etc? If we just have his word for it I am inclined to think he was telling this tale to put his subjects who did really weird stuff at their ease.


message 21: by Trevor (new)

Trevor I had the opposite response. Who would make up stuff like that?


message 22: by Paul (new) - rated it 4 stars

Paul timid friends of Robert Mapplethorpe


message 23: by Miriam (new)

Miriam Paul Bryant said: I find this a little boggling. The said eye would have had to be considerably enlarged already to be able to encompass a toothbrush without serious damage & loss of blood, one might imagine.

You are supposed to gradually enlarge the opening, working up to large, er, insertables. They sell kits for this express purpose.


message 24: by Paul (new) - rated it 4 stars

Paul my goodness me, kits. You learn something new everyday. This certainly solves one of my Christmas present problems this year - some people are so hard to buy for.


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