j's Reviews > Romeo and Juliet

Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
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's review
Mar 15, 2012

really liked it
bookshelves: classics

Subject: MR. MERCUTIO

FROM THE OFFICE MR REGINALDO OXFORDINGTON
VERONA DEVELOPMENT BANK (VDB).
FAIR VERONA

TRANSFER OF ($25,200.000.00) TWENTY FIVE MILLION, TWO HUNDREN THOUSAND SCUDI ROMANI.

I AM REGINALDO OXFORDINGTON, THE AUDITOR GENERAL OF VERONA DEVELOPMENT BANK HERE IN FAIR VERONA WHERE WE LAY OUR SCENE. DURING THE COURSE OF OUR AUDITING, I DISCOVERED A FLOATING FUND IN AN ACCOUNT OPENED IN THE BANK BY MR MERCUTIO AND AFTER GOING THROUGH SOME OLD FILES IN THE RECORDS I DISCOVERED THAT THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT WAS SLEWN SOME YEARS AGO BY THE ROGUE TYBALT IN A DUEL.

AND NOBODY HAS OPERATED ON THIS ACCOUNT AGAIN, THE OWNER OF THIS ACCOUNT IS MR MERCUTIO A RECKLESS JESTER, AND A COUSIN OF THE PRINCE, HE DIED, SINCE THEN AND NO OTHER PERSON KNOWS ABOUT THIS ACCOUNT OR ANY THING CONCERNING IT, THE ACCOUNT HAS NO OTHER BENEFICIARY AND MY INVESTIGATION PROVED TO ME AS WELL THAT MR MERCUTIO DIE ALONG WITH HIS TIRED FAMILY WHO WAS TOO SAD BECAUSE OF THE STORY OF WOE OF MRS JULIET AND MR ROMEO.

THE AMOUNT INVOLVED IS (SR 25.2 M) TWENTY-FIVE MILLION, TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND SCUDI ROMANI ONLY , I AM CONTACTING YOU AS A FOREIGNER BECAUSE THIS MONEY CAN NOT BE APPROVED TO A LOCAL PERSON HERE, BUT CAN ONLY BE APPROVED TO ANY FOREIGNER WITH VALID INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT AND FOREIGN ACCOUNT BECAUSE THE MONEY IS IN SCUDI ROMANI AND THE FORMER OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT MR MERCUTIO IS KNOWN TO BE A FRIEND OF MR ROMEO MONTEGUE A ROGUE & KILLER, AND THE MONEY CAN ONLY BE APPROVED INTO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT UNLESS ANCIENT GRUDGE BREAK TO NEW MUTINEY. I ASK YOU WOULD A FOREIGNER BY ANY OTHER NAME NO SMEEL AS SWEET?

I NEED YOUR STRONG ASSURANCE THAT YOU WILL NEVER, NEVER BITE YOUR THUMB AT ME SIR AS SOON AS THIS FUND HIT INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. WITH MY INFLUENCE AND THE POSITION OF THE BANK OFFICIAL WE CAN TRANSFER THIS MONEY TO ANY FOREIGNER'S RELIABLE ACCOUNT WHICH YOU CAN PROVIDE WITH ASSURANCE THAT THIS MONEY WILL BE INTACT PENDING OUR PHYSICAL ARRIVAL IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR SHARING.

ON THE CONCLUSION OF THIS TRANSACTION YOU WILL BE ENTITLED TO 30% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS GRATIFICATION, WHILE 10% WILL BE SET ASIDE TO TAKE CARE OF THEEXPENSES THAT MAY ARISE DURING THE TIME OF TRANSFER AND ALSO MESSENGER FEES TO ENSURE TIMELY DELIVERY WITH NO UNDUE CIRCUMSTANCE OF TRAGEDYE, WHILE 60% WILL BE FOR ME.

SO ON THE INDICATION OF YOUR WILLINGNESS I WANT YOU TO FORWARD TO ME YOUR :FULL NAME: AFFILIATION CAPULET OR MOTEGUE: IF ANY FULL CONTACT ADDRESS: CITYSTATE: COUNTRY: OCCUPATION: AND ALL THE NECESSARYINFORMATION WILL BE SENT TO YOU ON THE ACCEPTANCE TO CHAMPION THIS TRANSACTION WITH ME.

YOURS TRULY
REGINALDO OXFORDINGTON
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05/24 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-12)




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message 12: by Ian (new)

Ian Tregillis Please multiply my "like" vote by a million. thx.


message 11: by j (new) - rated it 4 stars

j Ian wrote: "Please multiply my "like" vote by a million. thx."

wow, now i am the #1 best reviewer on goodreads by like 960,000 votes!


message 10: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! The caps made it very difficult to read! Worth it, though.


message 9: by j (last edited Mar 15, 2012 08:57AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

j i am not above rewriting/editing some spam and calling it a review. i am above totally rewriting a spam so that it isn't in all caps and calling it a review.

(that said, i probably could have found one that wasn't in all caps. but they lend it a certain authentic inauthenticity.)


message 8: by [deleted user] (last edited Mar 15, 2012 09:00AM) (new)

Do you ever catch NSP's 419 emails? He posts them on fb whenever he gets a good one. I'm actually jealous of his spam.


message 7: by j (last edited Mar 15, 2012 09:01AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

j yes! he gets some good ones. my spam filter is set too high to get many. gmail is much better at than than hotmail was.


message 6: by Richard (new)

Richard Great review, Reggie!


message 5: by Jen (new) - rated it 4 stars

Jen This made my day. I love creative spam.


Paquita Maria Sanchez Holy crap, you found the capital letter! Congratulations, Joel. You are officially an intelligent, discerning reader.


message 3: by j (new) - rated it 4 stars

j Paquita Maria wrote: "Holy crap, you found the capital letter! Congratulations, Joel. You are officially an intelligent, discerning reader."

thank goodness. now i can go troll someone without fear of reprisals.


message 2: by Jennifer (new)

Jennifer Peters Hilarious!!


message 1: by Adria Goodwin (new)

Adria Goodwin I think it is ok


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