karen's Reviews > How to Take Over Teh Wurld: A LOLcat Guide 2 Winning

How to Take Over Teh Wurld by Professor Happycat
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's review
Sep 08, 2009

it was amazing
bookshelves: for-laughter, les-animaux, kittehs

yes, i am the kind of person who finds this funny. when i was little, i never liked cats, only dogs. and then i got older and settled into this personality only to find it looooved cats. and now i am going to library school. and learning to crochet. so you know whats next - its no surprise. bring on the cardigans and the eyeglass-chain and the doilies and slipcovers and the nine stockings hung on the fake-fireplace mantel at christmas not for my children, no certainly not, but for fluffy and mittens and sparky and mr slibberty or whatever. what a cliche i shall become. what promise i once had. but i cant help it - these books amuse the shit out of me. the world is full of cute cats. and spinster librarians. bread and butter.
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Comments (showing 1-45 of 45) (45 new)

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Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Mr. Slibberty!

message 2: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Karen, your review is great, and you ma'am are a piece of work. :-)

karen yeah, ive heard that before... just not in a positive context.

message 4: by Janene (new)

Janene I love doilies!

message 5: by Carrie (new)

Carrie I make quilts and collect cats and chihuahuas. Can I join your old lady club?

message 6: by Janene (new)

Janene I collect vintage quilts, have 3 Persians AND a chihauahua mix. You can join mine if Old Lady Karen says no.

message 7: by Carrie (new)

Carrie Sweet! Be my friend!

message 8: by Janene (new)

Janene I am!

karen yes! you are all welcome! i will make weak tea and zucchini bread!

message 10: by Carrie (new)

Carrie We can sit around in rocking chairs sipping lemonade with our pinkies up and compare coupon collections. PS. I made zucchini bread a couple weeks ago. It was delightful.

message 11: by Janene (new)

Janene rofl!!

i loves you girls..

message 12: by Jen (new)

Jen I will bring a friendly silver flask to spike the tea. This will be my offering.

karen we will also need the following: ribbon candy, plastic rain-bonnet, and macrame spider plant-holder.

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Um, I feel like I've stumbled into somewhere I don't belong...this is me slowly, awkwardly backing out of the room saying "G'day, ladies."

But I do like cats. And zucchini bread. And tea. And whatever's in Jen's flask. Shit, maybe I do belong...?

karen you can be the nice young lad to whom we feed foil-wrapped hard candy.

message 16: by Jen (new)

Jen Okay, karen. But if anyone tries a group outing where we all have to wear purple and red hats I'm taking the flask home with me.

karen agreed. however, depending on the size of the flask, i expect i can talk you 'round...

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio karen wrote: "you can be the nice young lad to whom we feed foil-wrapped hard candy. "

And I'll open a few jars, reach things your stooped and shrunken bodies can no longer reach, show you how to get to your favorite stories on the TV, change light bulbs, let you tell me to wear a scarf, etc.

Then we'll get a buzz from Jen's tea and start talking about how kids these days have too much sex and not enough exercise and ask questions like "Have you heard of this new thing they do now called sexting!?! What's the world come to?"

message 19: by Jen (new)

Jen And then I will say very quietly that sex is exercise and pass the flask back around.

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Jen wrote: "And then I will say very quietly that sex is exercise and pass the flask back around."

And I'll say, "I don't have to sit here and listen to this filth! Good day to you, ladies!" and then storm out leaving jars unopened, light bulbs unchanged and scarves not around my neck.

This story's gotten a bit weird.

message 21: by Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (last edited Sep 08, 2009 02:45PM) (new)

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Could be a sitcom, Spinsters and the Guy Who Drops By Occasionally. What kind of wacky hijinks will they get into this week?

karen hahaahah i just snorted dayquil out my nose. thanks, guys...
someone come mop up grandma...

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio karen wrote: "hahaahah i just snorted dayquil out my nose."

Mission Accomplished!

karen jen, put this young'un in his place... very quietly.

message 25: by Jen (last edited Sep 08, 2009 07:55PM) (new)

Jen MFSO, you've gotten quite conservative in your faux old age....what will probably happen years from now is that the old folks will be reminiscing about how sex used to involve exercise. ("Remember sweat? No? Well, little ones, it was like, like....")

And spinsters? Spinsters? No scarves for you whippersnapper.

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio I don't think I'll mind the loss of sex drive in my autumn years. It'll give me more time to do crafty things or play Solitaire or calculate all the time spent tending to my sexual needs up until my aging body freed me from the oppressive round-the-clock urge to copulate. Or maybe I'll just continue to like sweaty romps until I die--and probably die from have acrobatic sex in my old age.

And Karen totally started the spinster thing in her review. I'm just the replicator. But am a scarveless whippersnapper, no doubt.

karen guilty. but i can only speak for myself and my stuffed animals. jen aint no spinster!

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Your stuffed animals are spinsters?!? Well, then you're the coolest (also the only) spinster I know.

karen so then also the least cool, mathematically. i can live with that. gather ye spinsters...

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Yeah, this pretend world in which you're actually a spinster creates a weird coolest/least cool paradox.

karen no its a real world - i spin like crazy!

message 32: by Jen (new)

Jen No. My future is bright. I shall have four grown peoples raised to carry my litter (ye olde definition) and do my bidding. I am looking at flowered daises now.

I will gladly share my flask and foot servants for small group jaunts to a cafeteria with senior specials.

karen early bird. and then a nap before our shows.

message 34: by Jen (new)

Jen I will be wanting to see Natty Gan. Deal with it. Love for John Cusack never really dies. It doesn't even age well.

karen hahaha they used to call me natty gann because i had a similar hat and was such a spunky tomboy... i agree - a great film. along with legend of billie jean - formative movies...

message 36: by Carrie (new)

Carrie karen wrote: "early bird. and then a nap before our shows."

By shows I hope you mean punk rock shows. I want to age like Wanda Jackson. She might dress like Tammy Faye Baker, but she still rocks the stage and sings about the "funnel of love"! But you probably meant shows like General Hospital?

karen yeah, i was thinking more along the lines of old-people midafternoon shows like the price is right... but we can be punk-rock spinsters. as long as i adjust my depends...

message 38: by Carrie (new)

Carrie At least our blue hair will fit right in.

karen i will pierce all my wrinkles...

karen when i actually learn i will try to teach you. jerri tried to teach me and i felt like i was getting it, and then i came back here and it was mostly forgotten. someone suggested i get one of the childrens crocheting kits from the second floor. i might give that a try. it might be at the right level for me

karen buy different yarn, derrr

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Presents for karen!

karen i didn't even know this was possible!! amazing!!!

Laura I like "ceiling cat is watching you masturbate". It really made me laugh I'm always telling my boyfriend that every time he masturbates god kills a kitten from that poster thing and now I can tell him ceiling cat is watching him. Oh what he has to put up with, if he leaves me can I join your group, I do knit, I love tea, and I have a cat that I talk to and he does have a stalking that his grandma made for him

karen oh, sure - the more the merrier. we will need lots of people around to talk about cozy mysteries and our daytime television.

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