Are 1100 pages enough to stop a bullet? This was the question that came to mind when my roommate asked if I had anything to use as target practice for when we would go shooting. Well, that was not the exact question. More of a theoretical situation, really. Suppose you are being shot at, and you have a paperback copy of the stand in your pocket, and that's where the bullet hit, would Stephen King's really thick novel be enough to stop the bullet and save your life? I was determined to find out.

Some reading this may be more horrified by the fact that I would be willing to even think of shooting such a beloved book. And I agree, based on seeing it's affect, that shooting a book is a very violent act. Yet I didn't feel any remorse in shooting it. I do admire Stephen King as a writer, though. I read several books of his (before and after reading the Stand) that I did enjoy a great deal, and hope he keeps writing more books. I like King's style, and something tells me that he would be amused to know that I shot his book. But I didn't like the Stand because I felt that it failed to deliver on it's promise of an "apocayptic confrontation between Good and Evil." I was waiting for our heroes to make the stand, which is a very powerful phrase and title for a book. *** vague spoilers follow *** Well, the heroes stood, and that's pretty much all they did, just in time for the most shameless deus ex machina ending I've ever come across. All the bad guys died in a way that wouldn't have made any difference if the good guys had been there to make their stand or not. I read about three hundred pages of tedious ad hoc committee meetings to get to that? Disapointing. I expected so much more. *** end of vague spoilers ***

But perhaps the book had other virtues. Maybe, just maybe, this 1,168 page book could save someone's life if they were being shot at. Just to make one thing clear: I, in no way, advocate the use of fire arms to maliciously deface intelectual property. I wouldn't have tried this on the Scarlet Letter which is 272 pages and which I equally disliked. I was going to shoot the Stand in the name of Science and public safety.

My roommate and I took it to an outdoor shooting range to test such a possibility. I mounted it up on a dirt berm, and used my roommate's .45 rifle to shoot it. No wimpy guns here, could this book stop a bullet or couldn't it?

Four bullets hit the Stand. Two bullets grazed the side. One went through the "h" in "Stephen" and curved up through the top before reaching page 450. The last bullet hit just below center, making a perfectly shaped O. What took me two months to get through, that bullet blew through in a tiny fraction of second. The bullet exploded out the back, ripping a two inch hole through the back cover, and finally ending in a puff of dirt behind it.

So the answer is no, my friends. 1,168 pages are not enough to save your life from a .45 slug. I wish I could say otherwise. If they had I would have given this book a higher rating.