Cynthia's Reviews > Haunted

Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk
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Sep 19, 2007

really liked it
Recommended for: shock-seekers and Palahniuk fans.
Read in October, 2007

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.
Instead of reviewing the entire novel, I will just be focusing on my personal favourite chapter "Guts".
To date, there have been 53 known occurrences of audience members fainting during readings of “Guts”. This doesn’t surprise me at all, knowing the repulsive content of the story.
"Guts" is your mother, father, preacher and teacher shaking that disapproving finger at self pleasure. Needless to say, this short story will have you thinking twice about creeping that wondering hand down your pants at night. The narrator Saint Gut-Free (who’s alias is explained at the end of the chapter) a specifically terrifying masturbation escapade. While finding satisfaction in his family pool by sticking his rear end in the water intake at the bottom of the pool, Gut-Free finds his small intestines -in Layman’s terms- being sucked out of his asshole. All the while submerged under water. In a desperate attempt to reach the surface for air, he gnaws through the innards with his own teeth. We have all studied anatomy and know that human waste passes through the small intestine before happily plopping down in your toilet. Let’s just assume that Gut-Free wasn’t enjoying a delicious five-star meal. However, the tale doesn’t end here. The Saint’s original motive in the pool was achieved, and the left over sperm later impregnated his younger sister while she was enjoying an evening swim. It’s not shocking that the family had the child aborted before it could be conceived by the preteen girl.
Now, when asked why he is oh so heroinly chic thin, Saint Gut -Free can only smile. His six inches of remained small intestines don't allow much room for weight gain. Thus he is "Gut-Free".
Not only did this tale send shivers down my spine, but a suppressed chuckle in my throat as well. I found Palahniuk's writing style to be unique and innovative. What captured me the most was the straight-forward, bare-all tone that was conveyed through the narrator. He, a self diagnosed compulsive masturbator and sex addict explains his experience all too vividly. It makes the reader feel as if they too are chowing down on feces infested intestines in a swimming pool. And of course I mean that in the best way possible.
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08/21/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-14 of 14) (14 new)

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Robotribble Actually, according to his afterword in the book, seventy-three people have fainted.


Bethany dude, i started reading this book last night, i was like "oh well what the hell ill read a chapter and then go to bed" i was wrong.. lol after i read Guts i could go to bed.. i had to find something else to fill my head because no way in hell was i going to go to bed thinking about that sh*t! i texted my friend saying "so, i think you should read Haunted, i guarantee you wont ever want to jack off again" haha


Bethany oh and it made me feel like puking.. but i still intend on finishing. At first i was like "oh it cant get any worse than this" but i know better..


Kelly Sheffield good lord! guts is exactly what it should be, to gross, to intimate, to much. can't wait to move on to the next story. let me throw up first


Tippy Jackson Kelly wrote: "good lord! guts is exactly what it should be, to gross, to intimate, to much. can't wait to move on to the next story. let me throw up first"

Hi Kelly. I'm sorry but the total nerd in me is crying about the "to gross, to intimate, to much part." I believe the "to" you want is "too." If it was once, I could stand it, but three times is killing me...I'm getting weaker...Please forgive me...


message 6: by Damnerama (new) - added it

Damnerama i feel like the only person who can read Guts and go 'meh'. read it in biology class today and didnt care


Priscilla guts was my fav too!! hahahaha


Barbara I loved guts but it did not go over very well with my husband. I think he cringed a little more because he had his colon removed a few years ago.


Julia first off, no one is shaking a finger about pleasuring anyone, there are plenty of occurances involving more people than just those "jacking off" who have had their insides pjlled out by the pool intake. second.... if they aborted the unborn child of the preteen sister, it would have already been conceived...yes?


message 10: by Sara (new) - rated it 1 star

Sara I nearly passed out reading it. Which is when I put this book down and decided I didn't need to read any more of it.


message 11: by Lisa (new) - rated it 1 star

Lisa I don't get all the vomiting and passing out. Really? Most horror movies top this... The "Evil Dead" for instance. Maybe I'm desensitized by my Stephen King habit... But meh. It ain't all that.


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

I actually had to go back and read because I was surprised that was the story! I am admittedly a little horrified but also cackling.


Michelle Only Wants to Read I listened to this on audiobook. I was driving on the freeway as the story developed, and I was horrified. The narrator was so good! It was almost as having Saint Gut-Free telling me the tale, and I was horrified in the most amusing way. Does that make me a sick person? Maybe. Best story in the whole book.


Valentine Tarango Jr. Honestly, I laughed thought the whole story of 'Guts.' I have been a fireman and starting reading Clive Barker's work at age 13 (I'm 42 now) so it takes a lot to gross me out or scare me. I'm enjoying the read thus far.


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