Taylor's Reviews > Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn
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's review
Oct 25, 2007

it was amazing
bookshelves: non-fiction, parenting
Recommended for: Parents - all of them.
Read in September, 2007

I have to give this book a wholehearted recommendation. It took me about a week to read it and caused what I can say was my first real "I'm-not-the-awesome-parent-I-thought-I-was" crisis. Which was so good for me. What if everything that you take for grated about parenting (time-outs, stickers for toilet training, praise and accolades) might actually be hurting your relationship with your child, or even your child him/herself?? Alfie Kohn says that these traditional punishment and reward systems are extremely damaging to children's development and psyches. And he cites a huge body of research telling you why. And then he explains some alternatives.

I consider myself a very competent parent and child-care provider (afterall, I've been doing the latter for some 15 years!), and this book blew many of my habits and theories out of the water. It gave me lots to think about. It inspires me to try harder and harder everyday to be a better parent. It moved me so much that I bought my own copy.
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