Hollis's Reviews > Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J.K. Rowling
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Apr 11, 2010

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bookshelves: childrens-fiction

Supermarket literature for fresh generations of illiterates. What's not to like? For the TV-stunned audience of today, I think frantically marketed childrens books are about all we can focus on. Actually, I think the first few Potters were not too bad but after ''Harry Potter and the Crock of Shit'' and ''Harry Potter and the Forest of Embarassment'' I think they started to go down in quality. I fucking hate them. No, really. I don't hate the books themselves but they are books for kids at the end of the day and not especially brilliant ones at that. When I see a thirty-year old man on the bus looking profound as he reads one of them I just want to whip it out of his hands and hit him in the face with it.

And no, they are not the best children's books, don't even try to suggest that. They are many, many books for children that are much less publicised and much better in quality and much better written. And the ideas are so brilliant, aren't they? Not really: they're just taken from popular culture, different fairy stories (yep Rowling, take ideas from traditional sagas in other languages, no-one will notice because we're all monolingual apart from you, right?) and mythology. The things that aren't taken from other areas are just stupid. Take Quidditch. It's so cool and imaginative, don't you think? But it's not cool just because it's in a film and everyone screams a lot, it's fucking stupid. 99% of the things that are going on the pitch and being commentated on are pointless because the team wins that gets the Snitch. So all that matters is whether Harry grabs that little ball on the side of the stadium and the rest of it is more or less pointless. That's just obviously stupid and no amount of CGI can be up for it.

The thing that people often say is ''Well, they're not that good, but they do get people into reading.'' No they don't, that's nonsense. People who read Harry Potter read Harry Potter and maybe Stephen King if they think they can manage that. Anyone one who I have ever spoken to who is an avid Rowling/Dan Brown fan has read almost nothing apart from Rowling/Dan Brown/Twishite. Fair enough if it does actually encourage kids to read (if there is actual evidence of that) but adults: well, leave them to their bread and circuses.
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Comments (showing 1-44 of 44) (44 new)

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message 1: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Your anti-Potter rants just keep getting angrier and angrier and although I do enjoy them I have to wonder why you keep subjecting yourself to these books? Perhaps it's only so you can trash them here?

Manny When I see a thirty-year old man on the bus looking profound as he reads one of them I just want to whip it out of his hands and hit him in the face with it.

Surely it would be more fun to distract his attention, sneak it out of his hands, and quickly replace it with a copy of A La Recherche du Temps Perdu? I bet the look on his face when he noticed what had happened would be worth all the trouble.

And you could try the experiment with other books too: The Story of O, The Koran, 100 Cool Words To Add To Your Vocabulary... the possibilities are endless!

Hollis I read them because I read anything. I got tired of people looking at me as if to say ''My my, what an ill-read urchin'' whenever I told them I hadn't read the Potter novels.

''I bet the look on his face when he noticed what had happened would be worth all the trouble.''

I think swapping it with ''Anal Sex: A Masterclass'' would get the best response.

Manny Hollis, please try this at your earliest opportunity, make sure someone records it, and post the video. You'll get so many hits you won't know what to do with your sudden worldwide fame.

Maybe you can get Banksy to help with the practical details? It sounds like his kind of thing.

Hollis Yeah, I'll get down to it as soon as possible. Sometimes I get the bus so early I think the people pretending to read books are probably half-asleep anyway. Shouldn't be too difficult.

Hollis Did I write this? I don't remember writing it, although it's funny to read now.

message 7: by Hollis (last edited May 20, 2011 08:25AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Hollis And your mother inhales black cock. Get over it.

OK, just to make that clear for people like the moron above who are apt to misunderstand anything that is put in front of them, I didn't make that comment because I was reading through my reviews, I just found it because someone rated it.

message 8: by Kristen (new)

Kristen It is funny! And the filthy book reference in comment three reminds me of our fun book-recommend-off (that I clearly won :-)

Good times!

Hollis Yep, good times. Also reminds me of those times those two faggots came on the comments section of my books and hurled abuse at me for no apparent reason.

message 10: by C (last edited May 24, 2011 04:20PM) (new)

C Hollis,
You're a puerile brat, who rapidly reads books without absorbing the actual content - much like the reading comprehension levels of the Harry Potter folks you're ironically and hypocritically mocking - and then use the size of your good reads account to act wise in vain.

And from what I gather, it's the only thing of size you can flaunt to begin with...


message 11: by C (last edited May 24, 2011 06:09PM) (new)

C I mean Hollis, unless you think females shouldn't give head (probably because none of them give it to you, ergo no one else deserves it), where's the invective in the fact Ben's Mom is living her life as a sexual active free-spirit. And if that freedom happens to encounters white males, asian males, black males, etc...how is that worthy of reprimand.

Ben is right, you're a racist. By your logic it would be offensive for me to say "you hooked up with a black girl." Terrible.

In short, adult, interracial relations, are worthy of scorn in your eyes.

Blake Benjamin wrote: "And so what if my mom sucks black penis.....the whole black thing is a completely superfluous detail.

Quite the closet racist, I see....!"

But you called him a fag. That could be construed as homophobia. Are you calling him out? Are you about to serve or be served? Did you just step on my foot? Is that my foot you just stepped on? Are you assaulting me up in this haven of justice?

message 13: by Hollis (last edited May 25, 2011 12:31AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Hollis Chris, you're an ugly little spastic. Fuck off.

message 14: by C (last edited May 25, 2011 05:06AM) (new)

C Hollis,
You won't convince me I'm unattractive. And this quite ironic coming from the kid who keeps reading books on how to better sculpt his body....low self-esteem? furthermore the spastic adjective is better applied to the person who - in a Freudian sense - quickly blather their racism for all to see.

It's a shame when people so young despise interracial relations... How far we have to go still to overcome.

message 15: by Hollis (last edited May 25, 2011 05:49AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Hollis That's very profound. Now fuck off.

Paraskevi Oppio I don:t understand why Holli:s reviews of Harry Potter are so disturbing. Hollis does not like the books. I like them on the other hand. Hollis is entitled to his opinion.

message 17: by Hollis (last edited May 25, 2011 05:48AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Hollis Jeez, why don't you ask these two? I wrote it so long ago I don't even remember it and I might have a different opinion now if I read it.

This guy's persistence in spamming is either leading me to the conclusion that he is mentally as well as physically disabled or that he is just trolling me out of boredom combined with some kind of wierd college kid mentality that makes him think he has the right to commentate on other people's reading habits when he has none whatsoever. He's an ugly little gimp who got bullied at school and now he's taking it out by trolling the Internet. You're wasting your time. Your posting into a black hole. If you keep vomiting your poisonous shit all over my comments sections, I'll just delete it because the comments you are making are completely irrelevant. I'll say it again: stop reading my comments, stop following what I read and what I write, stop posting on my comments section when you are not welcome here, you mindless little cretin.

I have no idea why those two (sex buddies?) are constantly spamming me because it is either just abuse or they are just arguing over nothing and wasting their own as well as my time. You have an opinion about my reading. How am I going to change that opinion here, right now? You want me to take tests to prove that I take in what I read? Whatever, if you don't like my reviews or my comments, just ignore them and go away. Why are you following what I read or what I post in reviews or comments if you don't like what I say? You are under no obligation to read what I write: if you find it offensive, then fuck off.

message 18: by C (new)

C I'm not sure why my replies, which take all of 60 seconds to compose, necessitate my being physically handicapped? You're now on record as a racist, and offensive towards the physically handicapped as people who must spend their time harassing others. To throw the big fat cherry on top, you further find it to be a pejorative that Benjamin and I might have a sexual relationship. What if we do? Is that more or less offensive then if Ben's Mom is in an international relationship? Do enlighten us!

Also, you starkly contradict yourself:
"[he] think he has the right to commentate on other people's reading habits when he has none whatsoever," follow by: "You are under no obligation to read what I write: if you find it offensive, then fuck off."

So you have a RIGHT to post offensive things, and others should just fuck off, whereas the same right to be offensive regarding what you write isn't shared on our end, and the ability to fuck off without reading it isn't shared by you?

Hollis you're wearing a straight jacket you tailor designed for yourself.

Hollis What was offensive about my review of 'Harry Potter'? You've very deviously trying to turn this round to make it appear as if you are righteously attacking me for 'offensive comments'. You know full well that you started the troll war on my reviews and comments sections because ''I read too many books'' and because you disagree with my literary opinions. Nothing in my review is offensive and that was never a issue before you made it one. Any comments that I made are clearly in response to offensive comments from others.

I notice that you are taking me to task for offensive comments and yet look at the comment from your friend that started this: it refers to me as a 'fag'. My comments are in response to this comment. Why aren't you accusing your friend of 'homophobia' and shockingly puerile comments?

message 20: by C (new)

C Hollis, you're the one who said "if you find it [my review] offensive." I'm just pointing out, you grant yourself the right to blabber away, but don't grant it to others. Quite the repressive character trait.

I never said I disagree with your literary opinions, I said you don't actually have any! That's an important distinction.

Okay, so Ben has one fag comment. You have several fag comments, a handicapped comment, and a racist comment, and now a comment disparraging the right to freedom fo speech. Honestly, in under 24 hours, you've revealed yourself to be quite the little fascist.

message 21: by C (new)

C p.s. It's because of all these fascist comments that I know you're not comprehending the books you read; such as Vidal or Kant.

Hollis Yep, obviously, I'm not using the word 'offensive' literally. There is nothing in it that is 'offensive'. Quite the pedant, aren't you?

OK, Ben has one fag comment. My comments are in response to his. If you want to take a 'quantity' approach to see who has the most racist comments when I was never the one to begin with the offensive comments, you are wasting your time. Quite an obnoxious character trait.

And if you call me 'little' one more time, I swear I'll come and find you and snap your scrawny little neck. I'm 5''11'' and I weigh more than 180lbs: I'm not little, you asshole. Stop wasting my time. Just because you've read a bit of Orwell and a bit of Chomsky you think you know jack shit about freedom or jack shit about the important debates in the world today. You know nothing. Once again, fuck off.

Hollis Lol, wtf, you're retarded. You obviously can't read, dumbass. I'm not comprehending Kant. Where on my booklist have I ever read a book by Immanuel Kant?

ps. it's by these comments that I can tell that you're retarded and that you're not actually looking at the books I have read, you're just skimming through and picking out a few names. ;)

message 24: by C (last edited May 25, 2011 06:47AM) (new)

C You read Critique of Pure reason on Dawkins forum.

I'm 6'0, 185, squirt!

So now you're a racist, a homophobe, against free expression, denigrating the handicapped, and wanted to inflict violence. Seriously, seek help, fascist.

message 25: by Hollis (last edited May 25, 2011 06:49AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Hollis Lol, we'll meet and we'll see who's the squirt, mate. You're a lanky fuck and probably got some belly fat as well, I've got the muscle and low body fat as well, so shut the fuck up. I'm more than 180 at less than your body height and probably less than your body fat: you're 6 feet and weigh nothing for your height, you skinny little bitch, when you're 5 years older than me and old enough to have a properly mature physique. And 5'10'' for me actually, that was a mistake.

I read ''Critique of Pure Reason''? No I fucking did not, you're confusing something with something else, learn to read.

message 26: by C (new)

C Oh and you think the ugly and malformed are tolerable bullied in school.

Ever read Mein Kampf? I think you'd find much 'wisdom' in it...

message 28: by C (last edited May 25, 2011 07:07AM) (new)

C Hahahahahahahahaha
You called me spastic!

Okay, let's chalk it up:
Racist, homophobe, low self esteem, denigrate the handicapped, against free expression, and wants to physically kill those who you disagree with.

Me: troll

I'd rather be the latter over the former.

It's too bad the Gestapo isn't hiring...

Hollis Troll trolls someone until he gets offensive comments out of them because troll needs food, then troll admits he is troll but at least he is not as bad as person he trolled to get offensive comments because that person is now representative of his troll bait whilst troll is only troll and being troll is not that bad.

That's smart. Now go away: you've had enough food from me, there is a whole range of forums out there crying out for your bile.

message 30: by C (last edited May 25, 2011 07:28AM) (new)

C Well, the evidence really suggest otherwise, I merely conceded troll because your list was so staggeringly repulsive I thought it best to ease the horror. My replies were sparked by your initial comment: "Also reminds me of those times those two faggots came on the comments section of my books and hurled abuse at me for no apparent reason."

Had you not gone out of your way to call me a faggot, I wouldn't be here.

You do realize you're quibbling over 1 inch, and 5 lbs....

p.s. you did read the critique of reason, and you also have two books on Kant in your reading list. I suppose ones memory of ones own books is quite diluted, when you know, one isn't actually comprehending what their reading, but merely propping them up for vanity. Just like you prop up those dumbbells, for vanity.

Hollis No, I did not. I have not read a book by Kant. Ever. How dare you presume to know what I have and have not read? This is your problem. Yep, two books ABOUT Kant on my reading list. I never denied that. I know exactly what I have and have not read. You have not the slightest shred of evidence to the contrary and if you do, present it.

message 32: by C (last edited May 25, 2011 07:40AM) (new)

C Sport, you need to relax before you end up committing a hate crime against a chubby homosexual handicapped ethnic.

The book was on the Dawkins forum, which to my knowledge, was wiped clear.

Calm down little slugger. Usted es muy pequeño y fascista.

message 33: by Hollis (last edited May 25, 2011 07:49AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Hollis Y eres un maricón pequeño, pal, habla en ingles por favor.

message 34: by C (new)

C here we go again with the belittling of homosexuals as if it's a pejorative.

where does all the hate come from, tike?

message 35: by Hollis (last edited May 25, 2011 08:13AM) (new) - rated it 3 stars

Hollis ¿Estas loco, tío? Esto, eso, esto, no me importa una mierda que crees y lo hemos discutido un mil veces, ¿que coño quieres?

message 36: by C (new)

C Usually the guy who chides people for body fat content, malformation, race, gender preference, freedom of expression, etc, is the loco one....

Hollis Usually but if you we put that in the context of a heated argument: you're the one who keeps persistently coming on the comments sections of my books and trolling me with tiresome accusations.

message 38: by C (new)

C Again - you're memory is short so I can see why you forgot you read Kant - you referred to me as a "faggot" prior to my commenting. Upon being drawn to said comment I chose to reply. Within 24 hours your fascism was revealed.

Hollis I have said it many times. I will say it again because you're obviously such a thick twat that you genuinely think you know better than I have what I have and have not read. I have never read a book by Immanuel Kant. If I had, I would know, because my memory is very good. I do not 'forget' books that I have read. :)

Yeah, well, I don't think it was an unfair comment. You're both fags and you have blasted pointless nonsense on my reviews before. The other guy in that gruesome twosome called me a fag so I responded: unfortunately, I aimed at you as well, though I don't regret it.

Somerandom I grew up with Harry Potter, so they are nostalgic for me. I never got into Twilight, myself. Fair props to people who do.
I read other books apart from JKR stuff. Even, ye gods, classics. Don't paint people so broadly, thank you.

message 41: by Anna (new) - added it

Anna I respect your opinion, that you dislike Harry Potter but I was a little bit offended when I read "People who read Harry Potter read Harry Potter and maybe Stephen King if they think they can manage that. Anyone one who I have ever spoken to who is an avid Rowling/Dan Brown fan has read almost nothing apart from Rowling/Dan Brown/Twishite."

...I liked Harry Potter and I definitely read other authors :(

Terry I think your objections are pointless. The Beatles were popular. Harry Potter is popular despite and over your objections. Learn to deal with disappointment on a daily basis. There is no arguing with massive popularity.

Grace To combat your opinion, my favorite books list includes the seven Potter books as well as some Ray Bradbury, Jules Verne, George Orwell, and Jane Austen. Not everyone who reads Harry Potter is automatically an underread moron. I respect your opinion on not liking the books, but there's no reason to insult or swear at people who do, and there's certainly no reason for people who do like them to swear back at you. Can we please en the madness?

message 44: by Lina (new) - rated it 2 stars

Lina Harshly written but overall correct. Especially Quidditch. I do see the appeal of racing on broomsticks to score goals but no one but the seeker seems to get much out of it... it makes no sense. I mean, I do love the series but there are some major flaws in there...

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