brian 's Reviews > Cannery Row

Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
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's review
May 28, 2009

it was amazing

20 pages in i immediately noticed the sherwood anderson influence and shot off an email to my friend xxx, urging him to read it on the flight to nyc. his girlfriend of many years just left him and i figured cannery row might inspire. his response was... um... deranged? check it:

"brian - had a hell of a day. almost got shot down on San Julien this afternoon. Bullet smoke so close I could taste it. Almost got arrested breaking up a Guatemalan knife fight, too. got robbed $40, too. But I bought some crack. I'm smoking some right now here in the upstairs office at XXX -- can I do a paidout for this? I am very serious. I have the crack for you. Anyway, I'll save you some. I made a makeshift pipe out of a red Paper*Mate FLEXGRIP ultra med. pen. If it's your pen, I am sorry.

my favorite thing about crack is that it tastes like cheap grape soda. I'm jamming dark side of the moon too, so fuck you --I love you.

Steinbeck: my first mainmost man after Twain when I was "coming up". I got seriously into Steinbeck in my Wonder Years thru early 20s. Had to stop reading him just so I could save something of his for later in life. Grapes of Wrath, The Winter of Our Discontent, In Dubious Battle, Cannery Row, To a God Unknown, all FUCKING amazing. Uncle Sherwood is THEE branch above Steinbeck, Saroyan, Fante, Hemingway, Fitzgerald--they ALL cite him as being The Man.

Well, wish you were here smoking crack with me. I'm taking some to NYC, but I'll save you hit.


i'm not gonna smoke crack. i promise.
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Reading Progress

04/18/2016 marked as: read

Comments (showing 1-35)

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message 35: by [deleted user] (new)

Put back that star, fagboy.

message 34: by D. (new)

D. Pow Brian is a well-known star puller.

message 33: by [deleted user] (new)

And you're a well-known vote slut, D-Pow.

But I love your skanky vote peddling ass anyway. You complete me.

message 32: by D. (new)

D. Pow Thanks, David.

If I was in a Gay Cowboy Movie I'd want you right there with me gathering the sheep and eating beans by the fire. And Brian could yodel `authentic' Southwestern muzick in the background. Yee-Haw.


message 31: by [deleted user] (last edited May 28, 2009 06:15PM) (new)

Brian's new southwestern yodeler name will be Carlos 'La Yenta Malvada' Finkelstein.

Ah, heck. I'm gonna toss the guy a pity vote... cuz I love him.

Jason Is there expensive grape soda?

message 29: by brian (last edited Feb 04, 2010 08:40AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

brian   exactly, mike.
although my friend swears it's all true, there's a number of minor details which seem inserted for effect... leads me to question the believability of the whole thing.

thanks for the name david.
i love it.

and thanks for the fabulous scene donald.

alright, back to - wait for it, wait for it - paul blart.
no shit.

message 28: by [deleted user] (new)

You had me at crack.

brian   heh heh.

message 26: by Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (last edited May 28, 2009 09:09PM) (new)

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio I've smoked crack. Someday we'll all sit at the table of brotherhood together and trade more detailed drug-stories. I'll admit, I've got a few doozies.

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Mike wrote: "Is there expensive grape soda? "

That's all there is in...paradise!

Sarah Wow. That's uncanny. It reminds me of the time I was a crackwhore in Tijuana and working part time at Office Max selling red Paper*Mate pens. Has your friend been reading my diary?

Chloe It's either that or you've been channeling the ghost of Steinbeck in your sleep.

message 22: by [deleted user] (last edited May 29, 2009 05:45AM) (new)

That's nothing. You haven't lived until you've been speedballing while simultaneously huffing Rustoleum™, sucking mescaline capsules out of the vagina of a leprous herpes-infected Argentinian hooker, and hanging yourself with the chloroform-soaked mental hospital bed linen at the exact moment of painful ejaculation.

All, of course, while reading Infinite Jest and listening to Thom Yorke's new hybrid psychobilly-freak-folk-electroclash group. (But that goes without saying.)

Ah. Heaven.

message 21: by D. (new)

D. Pow That seems like that old routine where Daffy Duck tried to outdo Bugs Bunny by blowing himself up on stage.

`A great trick but one can only do it once'

I'd love Thom Yorke to mix some psychobilly into his bag of tricks...

message 20: by Sarah (last edited May 29, 2009 02:30PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Sarah I know better than to ever try to top David on the weird-o-meter. I don't think I'd want to try and think of anything more disgusting than the vagina of a leprous herpes-infected Argentinian hooker.

message 19: by D. (new)

D. Pow Yer right there, Ms. Sarah. David goes places most haven't dreamt of.

message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

MyFleshSingsOut wrote: "Mike wrote: "Is there expensive grape soda? "

That's all there is in...paradise!



Jason James, what are you wearing right now?

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio "the rest of us" = those brave souls incoherently trolling review-threads from three years prior.

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Mike wrote: "James, what are you wearing right now?"

A shower curtain and tinfoil headgear, duh.

message 14: by brian (last edited Dec 05, 2012 06:22AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

brian   ha! it's nice to know that even after all this time you guys will jump to my defense! thanks! (even if james, in all his mean-spirited near-incoherence, kinda has a point.)

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio I have and probably will once again smoke crack, I promise.

brian   mr. show!
you just made my morning.

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio It still tickles me that my friends are in such a different time-zone than I. I'm drinking myself to sleep at 11:26 PM. Totally different wave-lengths, bro!

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Also, crack is pretty much all it's cracked up to be. Fantastic substance. The entire world should get on-board already. There's literally no down-side to it...

brian   ha! i love it. it's 6:28am, i'm chugging coffee, getting ready to take the dog for a hike. tell korea i said hi, i'll give uncle sam a kiss and a kick in the nuts from you.

brian   Joshua Nomen-Mutatio wrote: "Also, crack is pretty much all it's cracked up to be. Fantastic substance. The entire world should get on-board already. There's literally no down-side to it..."

grape soda flavored crack, no less...

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio I kiss and kick Sam's balls on a daily basis. It's a mindless routine at this point.

Joshua Nomen-Mutatio Tha purple stuff...

(Sunny-D! reference, y'all!)

message 4: by David (last edited Dec 05, 2012 09:11AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

David James wrote: "This FaceBooky, dual trying to hard/inanity of time wasted on yours and now mine, is pathetic, save the inspiring to defend intelligence as a virtue I guess. Your content is lame at best btw. Part ..."

Jon Bruenning♥♥♥?

message 3: by brian (last edited Dec 05, 2012 09:23AM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

brian   ha! davey-boy thinks every troll is a bruenningtroll.
maybe he's right!

David His only friend is Keely.

That speaks volumes right there.

David In fact... James's diction is very Keelyish (i.e., windbaggy and Olde English*)...

You don't think our favorite Renaissance Faire attendee has gone into the troll biz, do you?

* 'Part from Goodreads...'

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