Haengbok92's Reviews > He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt
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's review
May 24, 2009

really liked it
bookshelves: psychologyselfhelp, favorites
Read in May, 2009

Very good advice in this book. I think it's spot on for my situation. Actually, I'm rather proud of myself. I used to take weeks to figure out that someone wasn't that into me, but I began to suspect in two days, and I remembered the title of the book so downloaded the sample chapter onto my kindle just to see if I was right. After blasting through the sample, I downloaded the book about a 45 minutes ago. I'm going to read the rest tomorrow, but actually, I've gotten the answer I need just from the first 25%.

What was especially informative for me was the idea that guys simply don't want to tell you that they're not into you. I always try to just get a straight answer--are you into me or not? And I feel like I'm getting mixed signals. In fact, if I need to ask the question, the answer, it seems, is inherent. He's just not that into you. This may sound dumb, but it was a revelation for me. And it saves me a lot of mental and emotional energy as well as sparing me unnecessary drama. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my mind, because the situation is not ambiguous (which always foments speculation, at least with me--it's the mystery lover in me I guess). A non-answer is an answer.

If you feel like you're getting mixed signals from a guy, or that you are putting in a lot of reciprocated effort and trying to offer the benefit of the doubt in regards to communication in a possible relationship (or even booty call), then the answer really is just assume he's not into you and move on. I really appreciate this book for laying it out in such a straightforward manner. And the examples really bring it home, with a lighthearted style that is punchy and fun to read.

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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

And here we value guys for being direct, when they are really just as indirect as they accuse us of being. Awesome.

I'm putting this on my list.

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