Jesse Bullington's Reviews > Eragon

Eragon by Christopher Paolini
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May 14, 09

Read in January, 2008

I didn't read this book so much as have it inflicted upon me. I have a friend who loves reading terrible books because she thinks they are funny, sort of a literary MST3K sort of thing. And like bad movies, I suppose, bad books are better when the experience is shared. This leads to her reading the worst books she can find at me whenever we go on car trips together, which is somewhat frequently as we like camping and hiking and scouring distant book stores. Once she read an entire CDD novel at me about a fyrdsman and a buxom slave girl--the DD there standing for domestic discipline and the C for Christian, so you can imagine the sort of oddity we were dealing with.

Eragon is so much worse. Every tear is a liquid diamond, every swirl of hair is molten gold, every page is an eternity. At first I had my kid gloves on because I didn't think it was fair to trash a YA novel when I'm not a YA, but dude, seriously, fuck that noise. Kids would grow more brain cells reading Mad magazine or the scholastic abridgment of Jurassic Park. In all fairness we haven't finished it yet, but I feel justified prematurely reviewing it because I have seen Star Wars and I have read a fantasy book before and thus know exactly what will happen at all times.
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