Cindy's Reviews > All About Love: New Visions

All About Love by bell hooks
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's review
Jul 11, 2009

it was amazing
Read in July, 2009

** spoiler alert ** Bell Hooks writes and imparts her wisdom about love in this book. She begins with defining love to the reader, and she found no good definition until she read Erich Fromm, who defined it as "the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth" (4).

In the section of Love and Community, Hooks mentions how friends are a big part of Love - sometimes friends are all that you have if you don't have love from family and sometimes they are the ones that show you what real love is.

There is also a section where Hooks mentions that when we meet someone, we don't as our society calls it "fall in love," we choose who we love. "Falling in love" implies that we don't have a choice and we do.

If an individual wants to love another, they must love themself first in order to know what true love is. A lot of people don't know this and simply "hook up" because society expects them to be in a "romantic" relationship.

Another part I found intersting, is when Hooks mentions that the patriarchal society we live in expects boys to not show their true feelings because men don't show emotions and even though as parents we might teach our child/ren that it's okay to show emotions, that child will still follow the group and do what the other boys do, to fit in.

Here are some of the quotes that I have to share:

"And while it has been crucial for collective self-recovery that we have exposed and continue to expose dysfunction, it is equally important to revel in and celebrate its absence" (210).

"Healthy families resolve conflict without coercion, shaming or violence" (210).

".. a man who genuinely loves his mother is likely to be a better friend, partner, or mate than a man who has always been overly dependent on his mother, expecting her to unconditionally meet all his needs" (228).

"Shame about woundness helps many people from seeking healing. They would rather deny or repress the reality of hurt" (232).

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05/22/2009 page 43
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