Nightfalltwen's Reviews > Vampire Kisses: The Beginning

Vampire Kisses by Ellen Schreiber
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's review
May 01, 2009

did not like it
bookshelves: teen
Read in May, 2009 , read count: 1

There was once a time in my life when I thought that there will never be a book worse than the Twilight series. There was once a time in my life when I believed that no publisher would ever put out something so horrible that it is like a train wreck or a car accident that you can't look away from.

And then I bought Vampire Kisses: The Beginning

And I learned that yes, Virginia, there is a book more terrible.

You see, Vampire Kisses could have been good. It could have been amazing actually. Dark and Mysterious Alexander suddenly showing up in a dull little town where the outcast of said dull town finds herself drawn to him. It was the reversal of Twilight... even though the boy was still the vampire and the girl was still the human.

It was awful.


No words can actually describe.

Ellen Schreiber is almost as untalented as Smeyer, perhaps even more so. The book read badly. Laughable in some places. Endless mentions of the fact that the girl was goth and wearing goth clothes and she was putting on a mesh shirt or ripped tights or mesh army things or black lipstick or blue hairstreaks... or WHAT EVER. It was like Schreiber was flashing a huge sign at the reader saying "BY THE WAY DID I MENTION AT SOME POINT THAT THIS GIRL IS A GOTH AND LOVES GOTH STUFF? NO? WELL HERE IT IS AGAIN!!!"

Raven is forever referring to Alexander as her Gothic prince or her vampire love muffin or whatever. All the terms of endearment that she uses for this guy made me snort out loud, in public, while I was reading.

It got to the point where I was in the last hundred or so pages and decided to say F*CK it and skipped to the last three. I read it and and sighed a sigh of relief. For it was truly terrible. Then as retribution, I decided that since I'd seen a girl with an Edward bag get on the bus ahead of me... I put my things to the side on a seat, marched down to the end of the bus and said "hey you like Twilight right? I'm never ever ever going to read this again. You might like it. Want it for free?"

Really? That's like 500 or so pages of my life I'm never going to get back. But yet... I couldn't look away. Because really? I kept trying to say to myself, "It has to get better at some point." And then it didn't! Just like Breaking Dawn.

I immediately went out and purchased The Book of Negros by Lawrence Hill. Something to wash the bad taste out of my mouth. Kind of like how I read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath after I read BD.
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Reading Progress

05/06/2009 page 160
10/20/2016 marked as: read
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Comments (showing 1-1 of 1) (1 new)

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Morgan F I totally agree. This book actually made the Twilight books look good.
I am no longer taking my friends reading suggestions.

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