karen's Reviews > Edith and Mr. Bear

Edith and Mr. Bear by Dare Wright
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Sep 16, 10

bookshelves: creepy-dolls, review-challenges

THIS IS A BOOK WHERE... oh, no. i am not doing those anymore. this is a review where i follow alfonso's simple rules:

1. No more than 3 pictures.
2. You need to wave it something about my penis being huge in the review! I know you’ve never seen it! And proly never will! But still! You a good writer! You’ll find a way to praise my penis!
3. You should offend at least 1 good reader besides me!
4. You’ll need to make a reference to something completely no relevant to the book! Something about your life! A dirty secret would be nice!
5. You are also absolutely forbidden to say anything that relates to the book’s plot! I love reviews where people don’t talk about the freaking book!
6. You need to pick a song ! This song will be the sound track of the review! The reader will have the option to play it on you tube while reading the review!
7. Find away to blame Atiba for women having their period, global warming, the war on Iraq or whatever! The thing is that he needs to be blame of something!
8. NO obscure references! !
9. Let us know on what team are you on! Team Jacob or Team Edward!
10. And lastly answer this burning question! Who is the sexiest person in goodreads.com!

the song i have chosen is alice cooper's "years ago/steven" it(they) is(are) a() creepy song(s) about creepy things that echo the theme of this book, which themes i will not discuss. at all.

these photographs are disturbing, like the photographs of - oh, wait - i can't namedrop. TFB, bookworld! the only photograph more disturbing than the ones to be found in this book is alfonso's new avatar, which shows off his massive tool(and by "tool", i mean "water bottle") which no one is crowing about - do they not see his massive tool??




reading dare wright's biography really gave me some perspective about the inspiration for her photography. basically, she was a very lonely, sheltered girl who slept in the same bed as her mother throughout adulthood and constructed a sort of fantasy world that is heartbreaking in its fragility, and these pictures are indicative of the innerworkings of her mind and are disturbing and fascinating all at once.

the mother daughter dynamic between dare wright and her moms recalls grey gardens (which is in no was an obscure reference, as their awesome madness spawned two movies, a musical, and assorted other things that are in no way obscure. for the record)




an interlude, for monica:

cum cum jizz spunk cum cummy sandwich jizzy jizz cumfag splooge jizzpunch. cocktastic cumfucks. violence violence punch punch kick. block.

if i get kicked off of goodreads.com, i will assume it is all atiba's fault. (like everything in this world that is bad: olives, famine, crime, shark attacks) atiba - seriously everything you touch is ruined, and the air you exhale is poisoned with your demonic soul.

i love these photographs - just the "edith doll" and her teddies and discipline and a pervasive hauntedness. when i was a little girl, i had tons of stuffed animals (not that much has changed since then) and i would play elaborate games with them: sometimes we would play "stewardess" because i was totally liberated, right? and i would play "raft" but i never played anything involving spanking, and i could never have conjured up the imaginary tableaux that ms. wright created.

sometimes i still talk to them, but i am not necessarily lonely, just a little.

i love nutella.

i suppose, if it comes right down to it, i would rather be with a man who went all sparkly in direct sunlight than a man whose doghair would always be clogging my drain (twss)

so this is what happens when you GIS "hottest goodreader ever". so, i suppose whoever this avatar belongs to is the official hottest goodreader. research has made it so.



i would love to talk some more about the actual contents of the book, but i think it is best seen for oneself. they are truly sad little photos for a sad always-to-be-little girl

is this success??
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Comments (showing 1-50 of 52) (52 new)


message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Was it subversive? Do you have a prude gr friend? Was it your computer's fault? Can you give us a synopsis?


message 2: by karen (last edited Apr 05, 2009 07:23PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

karen no it wasnt dirty at all, but this is the second review i lost today. glitch i guess.it was no great shakes, just more of the same as the other dare wright book i reviewed earlier today blah blah expressive dolls blah blah stark situations for creepy children blah blah spanking bears etc.


The Crimson Fucker karen wrote: "no it wasnt dirty at all, but this is the second review i lost today. glitch i guess.it was no great shakes, just more of the same as the other dare wright book i reviewed earlier today blah blah e..."

remember your teachings darling... is a bug... a bug... have i teach you nothing in the last 2 years =(??? now tell me more about those explosive dolls... it sounds interesting....


karen hahaahah expressive, not explosive!! but im sure i can find something that explodes...


message 5: by Michael (new)

Michael I have a creepy doll here. She's forced to stand in a corner. hahahahahahaha


karen you have two; counting the halloween doll i gave you guys. god i hate those dolls...


message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

This book is hot shit at my library right now. I haven't read it, though.




karen oh man - i loved one of her books when i was little...what a great cover this is!


The Crimson Fucker this one!

it is among the ones with the less votes! lets see you try to make it beat your Infinite Jest vote count! can you grab one of your less voted reviews and turn it into an unstoppable voting fountain!?


The Crimson Fucker ok... you wanted parameters... here have some!
Ok… here are the rules!:


1. No more than 3 pictures.
2. You need to wave it something about my penis being huge in the review! I know you’ve never seen it! And proly never will! But still! You a good writer! You’ll find a way to praise my penis!
3. You should offend at least 1 good reader besides me!
4. You’ll need to make a reference to something completely no relevant to the book! Something about your life! A dirty secret would be nice!
5. You are also absolutely forbidden to say anything that relates to the book’s plot! I love reviews where people don’t talk about the freaking book!
6. You need to pick a song ! This song will be the sound track of the review! The reader will have the option to play it on you tube while reading the review!
7. Find away to blame Atiba for women having their period, global warming, the war on Iraq or whatever! The thing is that he needs to be blame of something!
8. NO obscure references! !
9. Let us know on what team are you on! Team Jacob or Team Edward!
10. And lastly answer this burning question! Who is the sexiest person in goodreads.com!


what do i have to do if you manage to pull that off (which i doubt) ??? what would i get if you fail?


karen yeah, i can do this. i don't know when i will get the chance to do it, but it is half done in my head already...

twss


message 12: by JSou (last edited Sep 14, 2010 10:26AM) (new)

JSou I cannot wait for this review.


message 13: by The Crimson Fucker (last edited Sep 14, 2010 09:39PM) (new)

The Crimson Fucker Ha! The arrogance!


karen pshh - this is easy-peasy.


The Crimson Fucker you a cocky little librarian ain't you!?


karen no, i just know how to do this, is all. and as soon as i have more than 8 minutes to sot still, i will do it, but i am totally backed up, review and correspondence wise. and i have homework. but this is a priority because otherwise you will say i am scared. and i am not.


message 17: by The Crimson Fucker (last edited Sep 15, 2010 06:12PM) (new)

The Crimson Fucker ha! you know me too well... does this mean i better cancel that video montage of you chickening out??? cuz i already started learning how to train a chicken to play the part of you!


karen served!


The Crimson Fucker FAIL!!!!!!!1 YOU LOSE I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS MY PENIS THAT YOU ARE TO CALL HUGE! AND YOU DIDNT! LIKE EVERYONE ELSE YOU WAS FOOLED!!! MUAHAHAHAH I WIN!!! YOU COULDNT DO IT!!!


I WIN! FAIR AND SQUARE!


message 20: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Alfonso wrote: "FAIL!!!!!!!1 YOU LOSE I WIN!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS MY PENIS THAT YOU ARE TO CALL HUGE! AND YOU DIDNT! LIKE EVERYONE ELSE YOU WAS FOOLED!!! MUAHAHAHAH I WIN!!! YOU COULDNT DO IT!!!
I WIN! FAIR AND SQUARE!"


Actually, I think she did address this point and that means SHE WINS!!!!!!!1

She writes about your thingy here: the only photograph more disturbing than the ones to be found in this book is alfonso's new avatar, which shows off his massive tool(and by "tool", i mean "water bottle") which no one is crowing about - do they not see his massive tool??


karen well, if he hadn't confessed that it is a water bottle in the picture, then i wouldn't have mentioned it at all. but the rest of it was meant to refer to his penis, i just put the water bottle in as a side joke.

i don't understand what everyone else being fooled was. did you give this challenge to other people??

i still feel like i won.


The Crimson Fucker you know what! i think Eh! is right! she did addressed the subject! she does win!!! and it is a great review! booooo! i hate losing! i see there is a reason for your cockiness, little librarian...


karen alfonso, never forget that i was an english major. that's what we are taught: how to work within theoretical parameters to interpret text. this is just that in reverse: creating text with limitations. this one wasn't particularly elegant, but considering the amount of time i spent on it, i think it is a triumph.

keep them coming - these are always fun!


message 24: by Greg (new)

Greg One of these days you will win Alfonso. But any review where your penis is talked about is a win for everyone.


The Crimson Fucker of course! i see it now!!!! i was soooooo wrong!


message 26: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Ooooh, karen just called Alfonso weak and barbaric and wrong and that his feet stink, glove smacked across his face and thrown down!


The Crimson Fucker Eh? Eh! wrote: "Ooooh, karen just called Alfonso weak and barbaric and wrong and that his feet stink, glove smacked across his face and thrown down!"

is Eh! trying to start a fight????


The Crimson Fucker Greg wrote: "One of these days you will win Alfonso. But any review where your penis is talked about is a win for everyone."

you are right!!! we are talking about my penis! at least in the comments section!


message 29: by Greg (new)

Greg karen wrote: "keep them coming - these are always fun! "


Alfonso, I think she is talking about your penis here too.


The Crimson Fucker i dont think she is talking about my penis! i know she is!!!!


who else will giver her the next review challenge...? would it involve penises too???


karen i don't know if i will accept any old challenge. i like yours. this is the second one - i think there should be three.


message 32: by Greg (new)

Greg karen wrote: "...i like yours. this is the second one - i think there should be three."


Again. I don't think she can stop talking about your penis.


message 33: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Alfonso has multiple "water bottles"? Freaky.


The Crimson Fucker @Eh? Eh!: i actually have 2 cases of water bottles... i get thirsty in the streets! hehehe it dont matter how hard you try Eh! water bottle will never be used as an euphemism for penis....



@karen: give me a couple of days to think of the next one... but let's bet something for this one... what would happen if i lose and what would happen if you lose.


@Greg: i know no chick has ever been able to stop thinking about my penis when she challenges it! but i find weird that can't stop thinking about it either! this is a first time! MY PENIS IS IN DEMAND!!! FINALLY!!!! I KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME! (it would be nice if another dude wasn't involved tho...)


karen you should pick the terms, i think. you are better at that than i am


message 36: by Greg (new)

Greg Did Karen really win? Did she offend someone? Is it even possible to achieve number 3? (3. You should offend at least 1 good reader besides me! )

What would it take to offend Alfonso?

These questions deamand answers.


message 37: by Esteban (new)

Esteban del Mal I'm offended that I wasn't in the running for sexiest Goodreader. Does that count?


karen i was trying to offend monica with my blending of cum and violence.


esteban - you were totally in the running. you can address your complaints to google image search.

dot com.


message 39: by Greg (new)

Greg It's true that you would offend her. No doubt about it. But can you offend her if she has blocked you?


karen oh, i thought that meant i couldn't see her, but she could still see me.


shit.


message 41: by Greg (new)

Greg I don't know. I never blocked anyone. I think she can see you, but will she see you? She has probably blocked just about everyone you know for taking part in the semen talk.


karen ooh!! block me!!


message 43: by Greg (new)

Greg I won't do that. with my luck it will turn out to be permanent, like when i banned myself from the concrete group.


karen yeah, but how funny would that be?? we could communicate through third parties!


message 45: by [deleted user] (new)

Isn't this the Edith and Bear book with the naked forest shenanigans, and not the spanking? There were spanks in The Lonely Doll. I do faintly remember something with leaves in this, but it's been a long time. Like 30 years. Sigh.

Dare Wright makes me breathless with how beautiful and awful it all is.


message 46: by [deleted user] (new)

P.S. I've blocked people, I can't see their comments, but there is a little drop-down box if I want to read the comment. I can still read the reviews, if I wanted to, although that seems counter-intuitive.


karen shit, you are right. i was so intent on reviewing within fonso's rules,i should have revisited the book. that is just the strongest association i have with dare wright - bear spankings. (if you are going to GIS that, by the way, make sure your filter is on strict, or you will encounter images unsuitable for goodreads.com)


message 48: by Greg (new)

Greg


message 49: by [deleted user] (new)

I couldn't find any images from the Edith & Bear books OTHER than the inter-species spanks when I went looking for my review. The interwebz have diiirty minds.


message 50: by [deleted user] (new)

OMG, SUPERSPANKS!


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