Teena in Toronto's Reviews > Before You Say I Do Again: A Buyer's Beware Guide to Remarriage

Before You Say I Do Again by Benjamin H. Berkley
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Jan 17, 2013

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Read from January 17 to February 06, 2013

This book is good for anyone who is considering remarriage. It's written by a lawyer and as the description says, it's not a "how-to" book. Instead it gives you things to think about before you do it. Some of the chapters cover:

* Remarrying for love or money
* How to handle loneliness
* Listening to the opinions of your family and friends
* Remarrying for revenge
* Blended families and the Brady Bunch nightmare

It also talks about the financial aspects of remarriage ... ensuring you leave with what you came with if this marriage doesn't work and making sure your kids from your first marriage get their inheritances. There is a sample pre-nup agreement in the Appendix.

Here are some stats:

* Median age at second marriage: Men - 34 ~ Female - 32
* Median age at second divorce: Men - 39.3 ~ Female - 37
* Median duration of first marriages which end in divorce: Men - 7.8 years ~ Female - 7.9 years
* Median duration of second marriages which end in divorce: Men - 7.3 years ~ Female - 6.8 years
* # of years people wait to remarry: Men - 3.3 years ~ Female - 3.1 years
* % of remarried people who reach 5th, 10th and 15th anniversary: 5th - 82% ~ 10th - 65% ~ 15th - 42%

The bottom line is before you get remarried, make sure that you are healthy emotionally and are ready to move on. You can't be carrying the revenge and/or bitterness from your first marriage into your next marriage.

I enjoyed the writing style. Despite the subject matter, it was relaxed and not too technical or boring. There are many stories throughout the book to help you relate to the situation.

I'll leave you with this interesting tidbit from the book. According to Match.com, men who are seeking to remarry look for a woman at least ten years younger than them. There's even a guideline for her age! Take his age, divide by two and add 12 years. So if Gord wants to replace me, he'll apparently be looking for a 41-year-old!

Blog review post: http://www.teenaintoronto.com/2013/02...
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