Beth A.'s Reviews > Your Six-Year-Old: Loving and Defiant

Your Six-Year-Old by Louise Bates Ames
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's review
Apr 09, 09

liked it
bookshelves: nonfiction, parenting
Recommended to Beth A. by: Laura Dotson
Read in April, 2009 , read count: 1

This book was written in 1979. But I haven't seen a more recent book that so specifically describes approximate age related behaviors and how they relate to discipline issues.

Ames' writing is easy to read. It's gentle, kind, and compassionate, reminding me to be, too.

Apparently six is a difficult age. I was surprised and relieved to find out that this is normal.

- Technique number one: Praise
- Counting
- Time periods until a task is done
- Sidestep defiance
- Give as few direct commands as possible
- Give in… “Well, OK, I guess it really doesn’t make that much difference.”
- Isolation, removing child from scene, or separating two of you from each other.
- Ignoring. It’s “best not to notice every naughty thing [your:] child does. Some really dangerous behaviors must be checked. But there are other things you really don’t like which probably do not actually do major harm. .. Since punishment, though often deserved, does not do much to improve behavior at Six, perhaps the less of it the better.”

The two books I have read by Ames were very similar. I am not sure if that is because the two ages are similar (two and six), or if they are all the same, basically sidestepping confrontation and trying to get compliance in other ways. This advice is difficult for me to swallow with my six year old. I’m a little afraid he’ll turn into a holy terror without parental strictness.
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04/08/2009 page 144

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