Dave O'Neal's Reviews > Stop walking on eggshells : coping when someone you care about has borderline personality disorder

Stop walking on eggshells  by Paul T. Mason
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's review
Mar 23, 2009

liked it

As the child of a borderline mother, I found this particularly helpful in understanding the point of view of borderlines and for gaining some useful tactics on how to deal with them--the "spolier" here being that there's no particularly satisfying way, just some ways that work to a degree and others that you learn not even to try.
The authors are optomistic about borderlines being able to crawl out of their mental prison, once they recognize they've got a problem--and therein lies the problem for me. I'm suspicious about how many borderlines actually ever understand and acknowledge their problem, since a major part of the affliction is that they're unable to accept responsibility for anything that happens to them. My guess is that it's tragically few. I've heard others say that borderlines, when they do go into therapy, usually end up playing head games with the therapist and fleeing as soon as they're confronted with accepting a problem in themselves.
The book was quite helpful, though, if you're dealing with a borderline personality in your life, I'd advise you to read a range of the other books now available on the disorder as well, just to balance your view.
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Kellie I agree. Although, at the time I finally had to seek help in some form, I really didn't care anymore about the family member with BPD. I only cared at that point of saving my own immediate family from the destruction the individual with BPD had waged for years. It was the strategies in this book that essentially led to a final showdown, and the person pulled out each and every predicted weapon. It was the first time another family member was able to really see what we were dealing with and come to terms that the person was in fact intentionally destructive. The family member with BPD however, had been free to do her damage via divide and conquer for so many years that the family is no more than small groups of immediate family too scarred to reach out to each other.

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