Charles's Reviews > Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Lamb by Christopher Moore
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Quotes Charles Liked

Christopher Moore
“He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you.”
Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Christopher Moore
“Oh, I would while away the hours,
Wanking in the flowers, my heart all full of song,
I'd be gliding all the lilies as I waved about my willie,
If I only had a schlong.”
Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Christopher Moore
“It's hard for me, a Jew, to stay in the moment. Without the past, where is the guilt? And without the future, where is the dread? And without guilt and dread, who am I?”
Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Christopher Moore
“Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him....”
Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Christopher Moore
“I'll bet he was myrrh. Bastard, he brings the cheapest gift and now he wants to sodomize me.”
Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Christopher Moore
“You see," I explained to Joshua, "what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that's not her intent. That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm."
"No kidding?" said Josh.
"Why do I waste my time with you?”
Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Christopher Moore
“I've got to think that that was unethical," Joshua said.
"Josh, faking demonic possession is like a mustard seed."
"How is it like a mustard seed?"
"You don't know, do you? Doesn't seem at all like a mustard seed, does it? Now you see how we all feel when you liken things unto a mustard seed? Huh?”
Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Christopher Moore
“I'm thinking of being a professional mourner. How hard can it be? Tear at your hair, sing a dirge or two, take the rest of the week off.”
Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal


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