Angela's Reviews > Troubles and Treats

Troubles and Treats by Tara Sivec
Rate this book
Clear rating

by
11087333
's review
Dec 07, 12

Read on December 05, 2012

Holy "Vagina Skittles"!

Tara Sivec, you are my freaking hero. I just finished the third book in the Chocolate Lovers series, Troubles and Treats. Let me just say how much I LOVE Tara's sense of humor! I have a similar mindset with potty humor and get many funny looks from my friends and family when making jokes.

**Warning** - While reading this book, or any in the series for that matter, make sure you are not eating, drinking, in a quiet waiting room, or any quiet place or else people may think you can't breathe or are dying from laughter and rolling around on the ground holding your vagina so you don't pee. Seriously, its that funny!

Synopsis:

Drew and Jenny have spent years being the envy of their friends with their out of control sex lives...Well not really. Mostly it makes their friends want to throw up in their mouths a little.

With two little kids and two busy lives, for the first time Drew and Jenny aren't on the same page in the bedroom. Drew will stop at nothing to get his previously amorous wife back in the sack and Jenny will do anything for a full night of sleep.

Boy do I know that feeling! The main problem here is that Jenny thinks Drew should automatically know what is wrong and why they haven't been sexually active in a year!!! Yep, a year! That is like 10 years for these two who used to have sex everyday and sometimes more! Poor communication is the issue here.

In this story we have a sex swing turned baby swing, Downwind Lapping Dog, zombies eating your face off, mace, Bullets, dildo race confusion, Hiney Duck Hiss, Jackson, Vanilla, Brazilians, FUPAs, Spoop, strawberry laid, mom's clam dinner, Tupperware, and so much more!

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:


"DO not enter, closed for repairs, zombies will eat your face if you try to touch this vagina."

"Sex...me...the swing...bad...sex...barf. "

"You ruined my penis!"-Drew "I ruined your pens?" Jenny

"Holy crab rangoons!"

"SON OF A MOTHER FUCKING JESUS BITCH! WHAT THE FUCK ASS SHIT BITCH JUST FUCKING HAPPENED?"

"Hold me closer, Tony Daaaaanza. Count the head lice on the hiiiiiighway."

"WILLIE NELSON WONDER CATS!"

"Holy fuck Jenny! How does that shit even fit in your underwear?"

"What the hell are you doing?" - Liz to Jenny
"Uh, I'm stripping down like the girl told me to do." Jenny to Liz
"Do you have hairy tits or something? Why the hell would you need to take your shirt off?" Liz to Jenny before the Brazilian Wax

"OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST PULL MY CLIT OFF?"

"Seriously Drew? You told my mom you liked to eat bearded clam?"
"I assumed she knew what that was and we'd get a good laugh about it. How was I supposed to know she'd go on Google looking for a recipe?"

If you haven't read this yet, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Especially if you are having a shit ass day. Just a paragraph will make everything better. Do yourself a favor and read this.

Thank You Tara Sivec for bringing these characters into our lives. I'm sad this will be the final book but maybe hopefully we will hear about Gavin in the future??? Pretty please with skittles on top? Looking forward to reading Tara's next more serious series coming out soon!

Happy Reading.



3 likes · likeflag

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read Troubles and Treats.
sign in »

Reading Progress

12/05/2012
62.0% "Oh my twat! This is the funniest shit ever!!! "What the hell are you doing?" "Uh, I'm stripping down like the girl told me to do." .... "Do you have hairy tits or something? Why the hell would you need to take your shirt off?" Liz and Jenny chatting at the beginning of Jenny's Brazilian wax appointment."

No comments have been added yet.