Karla's Reviews > On Dublin Street

On Dublin Street by Samantha Young
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Dec 04, 13

bookshelves: ebook, contemporary-romance, peeves-wanky-wangst, overrated, because-i-am-a-bastard-person, boring-as-batshite, bataan-death-march-of-boring, hero-heroine-fall-instantly-in-love, hero-heroine-meet-in-chapter-1, hero-jealous-possessive, heroine-annoying-and-way-annoying, heroine-tarp-as-a-shack, heroine-feisty-stupid-optional, sex-was-not-hot, nothing-fucking-happens-but-fucking, you-need-an-editor, cast-of-millions, spoonfed-psychology, double-dog-dares, i-regret-nothing, lifetime-movie-of-the-week, the-bottomless-pit-of-leonidas, self-pubbed, cliche-cliche-cliche, 1st-person-pov, brain-cell-diarrhea, things-are-doing-things, excessive-twauma-and-wangst, flat-characters-are-flat, other-woman-is-a-bitch-slut-whore, heroine-is-a-speshul-snowflake, deep-and-complex-not-so-much, your-grammar-makes-baby-jesus-cry, that-wascally-waptor, inner-dialogue-that-is-moronic, eroticrap, bitch-eating-crackers, heroine-bitchy-moo
Recommended to Karla by: still talking to her
Recommended for: if you absolutely must read what everyone else is reading
Read from October 08 to 09, 2012

Letting my shelves and updates state my case for this one.

Although....if you want a short version:

Heroine: I haz problems.

Hero: *sexy eyes*

Heroine: *feminine core immediately melts & nipples pebble* But...I haz problems. No sexx0ring with this stud for me.

Hero: *constantly offers Cock of Healing™*

Endless Supporting Cast of "I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck!" Doom: We might just be names on paper with no personalities whatsoever, but we're adorably quirky with interesting personal lives! Everyone likes to talk about us! A lot!

Ellie: And I am the Best Innocent and Eccentric Roommate Evah out of Central Casting! I have "Readers ❤ her!" written all over me! I wear my cardigans inside out and wrinkle my nose at the icky sex stuff! What's NOT to love?

Heroine: Hello? Problems....I haz 'em.

Hero: I want to fuck you inside you. Cock fuck inside wet come.


Author: I guess I'd better wrap this up soon. I know! A medical emergency creates last minute conflict and quick resolution!

Readers: So.....beautiful.....

Bank Account: *ka-ching!*

Granted I don't read much erotic contemporary, but this one read so much like smutty fanfiction. Cardboard characterizations...totally contrived set-up...nothing happens...nothing happens...sex sex sex...drama flail....pointless conversations....sex sex...drama flail....sex sex...biggest dwama of them all....boring epiphanies....sex sex....and BLAH.
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Reading Progress

20.0% "Ok, um, so I was going to read this under the radar but the pressure is becoming unbearable and I just gotta say: This is fucking awful." 7 comments
30.0% "I'm beginning to think why so many readers love the H is because he's such a cipher and thus ready-made for each reader's personal wish fulfillment fantasies. He's boring as fuck." 11 comments
33.0% "I think I can say with confidence that, given the high intellectual level of the author-heroine's inner monologues, her work-in-progress high fantasy epic is going to suck massive donkey balls."
36.0% "Who the fuck is Nicholas? It doesn't help that all these characters (of which there are too fucking many IMO) are just names and adjectives with no dimensions whatsoever. Hard to tell all the beiges from the taupes." 23 comments
41.0% "Ye gods, this is such a 50 Shades/Lifetime Channel movie marathon hot mess."
47.0% "“Go. To. Sleep.”

This particular way of illustrating emphasis is getting tedious. Just sayin'.

53.0% "Oh FFS...the Cecil B. DeMille-size cast is getting ridiculous. Jason??!!!? Who's next? Random Chariot Driver with tangential relationships to the heroine?" 3 comments
60.0% "I can't believe I'm staying up all night to plow through this piece of crap, but I want to click that 1 star fully justified AND complete my 2012 challenge."
67.0% "So now the story's just become sex scenes with random panic attacks from the heroine whenever the action sags a bit. 33% more of this, you say? Awesome."
93.0% "*headdesk headdesk headdesk*"
95.0% "You know, the author/heroine constantly saying "Best. Sex. Ever." doesn't make it so."
99.0% "I don't get why some people didn't like the epilogue. It's following formula the same way the entire plot and characters adhered to formula. I've been amazed at just how standard vanilla the whole thing as been. Was expecting something different, given the ungodly hype."
100.0% "To the Person Who Sent Me This Book: Hell called. They said the "special place" is all ready and waiting for you."

Comments (showing 1-50 of 182) (182 new)

message 1: by Lavender (new) - added it

Lavender Your reviews on this book were hilariously awesome. That is all. :)

message 3: by Misfit (new) - added it

Misfit Best shelves evar!

message 4: by Karla (last edited Oct 09, 2012 06:29AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Had to add a bit more to the review. :P (Inspired by a ragey midnight email exchange with Tammy.)

Rachel (BAVR) ZOMG, I love the shelves!

Most of all, I adore this:
Hero: I want to fuck you inside you. Cock fuck inside wet come.

And now it's BAVR's turn to read. >:D

message 6: by Karla (last edited Oct 09, 2012 06:37AM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla BAVR is NOT dissuaded??? That critter is out of control!

Don't blame me if she goes on a rampage from ingesting this muck. I'll deny everything. O.o

Rachel (BAVR) I feel partly responsible for your misery, so it's BAVR's responsibility to take another hit for the team. I will not blame you, but it's totally possible that I'll DNF. :P

Karla If there's no challenge completion at stake (as there was with mine - DO OR DIE!), then I would recommending bailing at the first sign of BAVR bending the bars of her cage.

Crystal Starr Light OMG, your shelves had me in STITCHES!!

message 10: by Heather (new)

Heather Okay . . . off my wishlist this goes.

message 11: by Sarah (new)

Sarah My dear Karla, this is your best short review ever. Congrats. :D

message 12: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla I love how my shelves are almost as long as the review. :P. That's a first. And I hope I may never read such a bad book evar again. (Though I hope Rachel does. At least until the time all that rancid meat gives BAVR an ulcer and she needs to back off. :D)

message 13: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Her updates are so awful that they're making VANQUISHED look like a coherent, care-worthy story. Aaaaaaiiiieeee!

message 14: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla I was blown away by how awful this was, but given the raves over 50 Shades and Kristen Ashley, I should know by now that anything self-pubbed getting the 5 stars left and right is going to be utter shite.

message 15: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Methinks this author has a slight edge over KA in terms of proper sentence structure...but that's about it.

message 16: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Slight edge. There were still plenty of typos and sentences that were technically correct but absolutely did nothing for the story. GR says 414 pages. It could be 300. Easily.

message 17: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Poor little red pen -- feeling so neglected & alone as she sat hunched over her unending manuscript. :P

Rachel (BAVR) If she'd asked me to edit this waste, the whole damn thing would be red. Or gone.

message 19: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla To elaborate, some scenes can be brief if acted out in real time, but be written in a way that take up pages and pages and still be good. Since This Other Eden has come up in conversation I'll use that as an example. That whipping scene in beginning goes on and on, but it evokes the atmosphere of the courtyard, the servants vs. the master, the way the people feel about Marianne, the duty of a servant to carry out any order no matter how awful, etc. IT WORKS.

In On Dublin Street, the scenes that go on and on and on are like, "Did you hear about X? This is going on in her personal life and this is how I feel about it. *inner monologue* "Oh look who just walked in. Oh hey, we thought we'd drop by. Introductions.....chit chat....blah blah blah. *UST thoughts of cocks and pebbling nipples*"

Such a friggin' bore. -__- (And I hope to never see the phrase "my nipples pebbled" for a VERY LONG TIME.)

message 20: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Rachel (BAVR) wrote: "If she'd asked me to edit this waste, the whole damn thing would be red. Or gone."

I'm not sure if the five remaining words would be enough for a full-length romance novel. :P

message 21: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: " (And I hope to never see the phrase "my nipples pebbled" for a VERY LONG TIME.) "

Pebbled? Dude. What's wrong with "tightened" or "hardened"? I'm probably in the minority here, but when it comes to sex lingo in a novel...less is more. Simpler words are best, at least in this reader's mind.

message 22: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla I think the phrase was used at least 5 times. At least.

More about the group dialogue scenes: It was like listening to someone describe vacation slides without any visual aid. >__>

Rachel (BAVR) Everything Karla wrote above is true. Along with the pebbling nipples, every the word "bemused" is mercilessly overused.

message 24: by Sarah (new)

Sarah All of this is cementing my avoidance of contemp romance. I hope you're satisfied. :P

message 25: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Weirdly, people who both loved/hated 50 Shades loved this, and people who love/hate Kristen Ashley loved this.

At least I'm consistent. I hate all 3. :D

Sandi *~The Pirate Wench~* LOL! Loved all your tags(never seen so many) you really let it go there:D Nice review...

message 27: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla And I feel better. :D Now to enjoy Rachel's pain as she reads it. Bwahaha.

Rachel (BAVR) Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "And I feel better. :D Now to enjoy Rachel's pain as she reads it. Bwahaha."

I don't think the world of contemporary romance is prepared for BAVR. :P

message 29: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla You know, I had a fleeting thought that all these secondary characters might be a warning knell of The Unending Romance Series From Hell, but as of now this isn't listed as part of a series. Let's hope it stays that way. Can you freakin' IMAGINE? O.o

message 30: by Willow (last edited Oct 09, 2012 10:08PM) (new) - added it

Willow ROFL! Your list of shelves is hilarious. So I take it you won't be reading the second book.

BTW Would it be alright if I take the Cock of Healing home with me and keep it under my pillow for those special 'healing times?'

Tammy Walton Grant Damn! I wanted to call dibs on the Cock of Healing. :(

Great review!!

Hugs from the doghouse,

message 32: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla @Willow: If there's a 2nd book, you will probably hear my scream of "R U F'ing Kidding Me?!??!" rage. :P

@Tammy: I'll keep your water bowl filled.

message 33: by Diana (new)

Diana Leigh Cock of Healing™ = too funny. :-)

message 34: by Willow (new) - added it

Willow You know there's always a 2nd book. LOLOL!

message 35: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla That's what I'm afraid of. Authors can't pass up such a cash cow with fans dying for more.

Rachel (BAVR) What could she possibly write about in a 2nd book? Nothing's happening NOW. Will the second one just be a collection of interactions Joss has with people who insist on showing up, telling her all about their personal lives, and then disappearing?

message 37: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla And it's not like any of the couples in this book have anything fascinating going on. If all they do in hang out in clubs and chit chat and snipe on their friends' dates, I can't imagine the thrilling dramas of how they hooked up with each other in the first place.

message 38: by Willow (new) - added it

Willow But wait, there's a story. Braden's sexy cousin could show up and then there would be a luv triangle. Joss would be forced to make a choice. There would be much angst.

message 39: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Hush, you! There's something evil about that book, and suggesting plots is like summoning Captain Howdy. O_o

Tammy Walton Grant Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetle...

I think he is far more likely to show up than Captain Howdy would be. :)

message 41: by Karla (last edited Oct 10, 2012 11:16PM) (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla Captain Howdy/Pazuzu terrifies the crap outta me, though. If anyone could personify what reading this book felt like (brain rape), it's him. >__> Though at times it made me want to barf on a priest, too.

Jumbled emotions on this one. :P It got inside and did all kinds of bad things.

message 42: by Sarah (new)

Sarah Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "Jumbled emotions on this one. :P It got inside and did all kinds of bad things. "

This must be even more dreadful than I'm imagining. It's rare to see your iron constitution so totally broken. o___O

Rachel (BAVR) Sarah wrote: "Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "Jumbled emotions on this one. :P It got inside and did all kinds of bad things. "

This must be even more dreadful than I'm imagining. It's rare to see your iron ..."

It's like a curse placed upon the reading population by a wrath demon from the deepest dimensions of Hell. We're talking "Hand in Glove" level BAD. I don't know how Karla read it all in one night. Maybe she had the right idea getting it over with, though. I just have this obsessive need to stop and post all the little things that annoy me. It's taking an eternity! :(

message 44: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla My frustration level with utter shite like this is in direct proportion to the number of squees from everyone else. It makes it so PAINFUL.

Pushing through it so fast diminished the number of updates, and I doubt I could make them as entertaining as Rachel anyway. She is a Pro of Snark. :D

Rachel (BAVR) You say Pro of Snark. Others probably say Queen Bitch. I don't mind either way. Speaking of snark, I have an update to add later in which Joss totally misuses the word snarky. Nothing about that stupid book is snarky ... Well, I suppose the ultimate prank Young is pulling by selling this shit could be a snarky move on her part, but I don't think she's that smart. >:D

message 46: by Julz (new)

Julz LOL! I've never seen so many snarky shelves in one place my entire life! :D

message 47: by Karla (new) - rated it 1 star

Karla This book is the first one to make me mainline my inner bitch. Oh, shit got UGLY. And I thought Lord and Lady Spy made me go nuclear. That was NOTHING.

Katie(babs) I choked over the "cock of healing" mention. Sums it up perfectly.

message 49: by Misfit (new) - added it

Misfit Karla (Mossy Love Grotto) wrote: "This book is the first one to make me mainline my inner bitch. Oh, shit got UGLY. And I thought Lord and Lady Spy made me go nuclear. That was NOTHING."

I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm even sorrier that I'm going to have a shite-load of paperworking landing today and won't have much time for Bavr's updates. Thanks for taking a hit for the team, both of you.

Rachel (BAVR) Misfit wrote: "I'm even sorrier that I'm going to have a shite-load of paperworking landing today and won't have much time for Bavr's updates.

Don't worry, Misfit. The updates will be here when you're done. They'll always be here, an immortal memory of my pain and sorrow. >:D I have a feeling that GR could cease to exist as we know it, and still, the fallout from On Dublin Street will remain, tainting the Internet with its dark powers.

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