Sophia.'s Reviews > Fixing Delilah

Fixing Delilah by Sarah Ockler
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Beeen there, done read that. It's so cliché and déjà vu, it kinda hurt my eyes to read this. So Ockler used the concept of former-childhood-BFF to introduce the romance. Okay. Problem #1: It is very unlikely that after 8 years with no contact whatsoever, Patrick and Delilah still have this very friendly relationship as soon as they see each other. Like he calls her "baby", and hugs her and yada yada. Unbelievable, sorry. Problem #2: A romance like that feels underdevelopped. Just because they USED to know each other doesn't mean that it's enough for us readers. I need to witness a real relationship, and providing extra long descriptions of how hot and perfect he is is not enough, sorry. Problem #3: It's too easy to predict the romance. So she arrives on this vacation house and she's like "Oww I used to be friends with Little Ricky, I wonder what's he like now?". OF COURSE now he's called Patrick and is like, the hottest guy in North America. OF COURSE he hasn't forgotten her and OF COURSE, he doesn't have a girlfriend or anything (view spoiler)
Then the romance goes like:

Delilah : Hey, you're hot.
Patrick : Yeah, I know, right? You too, kinda. So I'm reading The Catcher in The Rye, because, well, I'm cool like that. I sing, too.
Delilah : Really? Let's fuck.
Patrick : I'm in.
Delilah : Huh. Wait. You know what? Turns out I can't be with you actually. Why? You mean, "why" as in, a reason? Because I JUST CAN'T, 'KAY? SINCE WHEN DO YOU NEED AN EXCUSE TO BE ALL EMO? HUH? No I don't have any reason and YES I'm pathetic, so what? Bite me!
Patrick : (offended) Okay. Let's break up then.
Delilah : (We weren't together in the first place but) OKAY.
(*cries and whines and cries and whines*)
Random friend who's only really here to be a plot device : Guys, get back together.
Patrick : Yeah, okay.
Delilah : Okay.
[The End].

So Problem #4: It's annoying, pathetic, badly executed, unconvincing, and unbelievable. So yeah.

And did Patrick have a personality? I think not. It seemed like his whole purpose was to be perfect. Golden eyes, guitarist player, handsome body, adorable smile, you name it. Whatever. Ever heard of the saying, "Perfection is overrated?"
The family problem was okay, I guess, but once Delilah learns what it was, she never discusses it with Rachel or, I don't know. It's like she knows, cool, and that's it. As far as I was concerned, after reading what felt like 5465 chapters of anticipation and suspense and stuff, I wanted her to take part in one of those legendary Hannaford fights. (view spoiler). It didn't deliver.

Then the writing. That was a huge problem for me. Am I the only one who was really bothered by the quality of the writing? I do think it needed a lot of editing.
Also what does this mean? huh?
Patrick laughs and puts his arm around me, pulling me close in his old magnets-on-the-fridge way.

Seriously feel free to explain it to me if that, somehow, makes sense to you.

And the writing is awkward. And weird.

So it's weird when she describes random stuff:
"The lipstick-stealing, school-skipping, off-in-the-woods-with-someone-I-barely-know kind of girl."
"When it‘s everyone-else-is-in-bed quiet like this."
"Only instead of getting the handsome, tough-but-emotionally-wounded police escort."
"As the all-news-all-the-time station drones on..."
"She engages her award-winning, smile-as-you-dial communication skills."
"The bed looks just-made."
"As a line of jingle-jangle silver bracelets slides."
"She lived for back-to-school time."
"Mom looks at me with big, sad, please-forgive-me eyes." (Isn't it better to just write, like "Mom looks at me with pleading eyes, willing me to forgive her."? No?)
"With an economy-size mayonnaise jar."
"His coffee cup inside its eighty-percent-post-consumer-recycled heat sleeve."
"We find a good fireworks-watching place"
"Unscathed by life‘s garden-variety heartaches."

It's weird and pathetic when she describes stuff relating to Patrick:
"He flashed his up-to-no-good smile."
"Little-Ricky-now-Patrick nods."
"Run a hand through his sticking-out-everywhere summer hair"
"With his amber-honey eyes."
"Looking at me in his just-a-second-too-long way."
"He sings. Goose-bumps, holding-our-breath, lumps-in-our-throats, tears-in-our-eyes, all-we-need-is-love kind of sing." (Btw, she's serious.)
"We are now too close, no-air-left-in-the-room close."
"And I get all wood-elf-princess-warrior like the first time I was with him."
"All amber-gold Edward-Cullen-style eyes and playful dimples."
"His sewed-on smile.

It's weird when she slut-shames:
"She nods toward a honey-haired, C-cup Jezebel seated at a nearby table."
"Jezebel the stalker-slash-fan-club-president is back again"

It's weird when she describes the meteo :
"Like a billion brilliant rain-stones plink-plink-plinkering to the floor." (WHAT THE FUCK?)
"The sun is shining white-hot."
"Full of the white-hot, double-dare summer intensity."
"The late-day sun."
"Holding the late-night Vermont air."

So yeah. That book wasn't my cup of tea, and that's probably the understatement of the year. But two stars because I'm feeling very generous. And because it doesn't deserve to be in my 1 star shelf. It was kinda okay. But it still sucks.
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Comments (showing 1-7 of 7) (7 new)

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message 1: by Kai (new)

Kai I would like to rip that key off her keyboard.

message 2: by Despair (new)

Despair Speaking *snorts* The way she describes things are hilarious. And weird, yes. Still, perfect guys huh? They don't exist! Maybe that's why people like writing about them, to keep up the fantasy!!!

message 3: by Sophia. (last edited Nov 18, 2012 04:48AM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Sophia. The writing was horrible. *re-reads excerpts and dies a little* I was stopping every two seconds to keep up the list of the "weird sentences".
And perfect guys, lol. Have you read Anna and the French Kiss? The book takes the "perfect boyfriend" concept to a whole different level. (view spoiler)

message 4: by Despair (new)

Despair Speaking Sophia. wrote: "The writing was horrible. *re-reads excerpts and dies a little* I was stopping every two seconds to keep up the list of the "weird sentences".
And perfect guys, lol. Have you read Anna and the Fre..."

Ah women and their fantasies...

Kalliste I thought twilight/Edwards eyes when it was mentioned too!

Kalliste I thought twilight/Edwards eyes when it was mentioned too!

Kalliste I thought twilight/Edwards eyes when it was mentioned too!

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