Nikki's Reviews > Seduction and Snacks

Seduction and Snacks by Tara Sivec
Rate this book
Clear rating

by
6538604
HOLY SHIT! ~There will be foul language so be warned~

I FUCKING LOVE THIS BOOK!!! I don't think I have ever , like in my life ever, laughed so hard! And I know for certain I have never had to take so many bathroom breaks from laughing so hard I almost peed my pants from a book! I know, tmi but whatever this is some fucking funny shit!!! I don't even know where to start... I read some of the other reviews for this and I can already tell they will be way more eloquent than mine, but no matter, go read this book! Like right now! I absolutely loved this book! It seriously has some of everything! Straight up hilarious dialogue, a great story line that rocks, a super hot guy and snarky chick, a freakin awesome kid who seriously kinda scared me since he reminds me of my own 3 year old son (yikes!) a supporting cast that I totally wish were real people! For real, I would so move to their town just for entertainment! There were so many lines from this book I want to quote that I'd probably get sued for plagiarism if I did! So a basic rundown is Claire is so busy with her college life she hasn't had the time to get rid of her v-card. At a frat party with her bff Liz, she meets a hot guy who gets her humor. (I so love the movie Heather's so this was awesome to me!) They have instant chemistry and proceed to hang out and get wasted playing beer pong. She decides its time so they get down and dirty. She leaves before he wakes up, never got his name, and a few weeks later finds out she's preggers. Yep I said preggers. They both look for each other to no avail and eventually move on (ish). They end up meeting again five years later in a very humorous way and lots of other great stuff happens. Yes, I totally left you hangin and gave a very brief synopsis. I can't really say more since, again with the plagiarism thing, I tend to run off at the mouth, or keyboard, and I don't wanna give too much away that would defeat the purpose of the awesomeness that is this book! Go read it! It really is a great book. I could not put it down and ended up reading it in a total of like 14 hours. The writing was great and I definitely have a new fave author! Its really not often I find an author I like so much I feel I have to go buy the next book and immediately pick up where I left off, but now I need to get the second book...

I will leave you with just a few quotes :)

Carter: "Oh my god, I sound like a chick. I need to watch some ESPN and get in a bar fight, pronto"

Claire: "Who would be my new step-father-in-law-uncle-friend?"

Gavin: "I'm Gavin Morgan, who the hell are you?" <-- gotta love that 4 year old!

(First read Oct. 12th)

UPDATE: RE-READ Nov. 16th

Ok, so I decided to re-read this for a group challenge since it fit the criteria perfectly. Plus I abso-freakin-lutely loved it the first time I read it! So hilarious! I don't think I've ever liked a book so much that it got read again so soon after the first time! And that says a lot cause I've re-read quite a few books! I just can't get over the characters and the things they say *cough* Gavin *cough*. I have to say, I think one of the best parts is when Claire shows up at Liz's house after her toy party and has diarrhea of the mouth talking about how neglected her poor vagina is and doesn't realize Carter and Drew are in the other room listening and about to explode in their pants! LOL! I seriously almost peed my pants I was laughing so hard! You know how most times things aren't as funny the second time around? So not the case here! Tara Sivec is definitely an author to watch out for! Now I'm even more excited about the third installment! Can't wait to see what kind of crazy antics are up Drew and Jenny's sleeves!
11 likes · likeflag

Sign into Goodreads to see if any of your friends have read Seduction and Snacks.
sign in »

Quotes Nikki Liked

Tara Sivec
“If you two yentas are finished discussing Claire’s rabid who-ha, me and the boys would like to eat sometime this century."

"You and 'the boys?' You just met them today. Does the Ya Ya Brotherhood already have a secret handshake and a password?" Liz joked.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“And let’s face it people, no one is ever honest with you about child birth. Not even your mother.       “It’s a pain you forget all about once you have that sweet little baby in your arms.”     Bullshit.   I CALL BULLSHIT.   Any friend, cousin, or nosey-ass stranger in the grocery store that tells you it’s not that bad is a lying sack of shit.   Your vagina is roughly the size of the girth of a penis.   It has to stretch and open andturn into a giant bat cave so the life-sucking human you’ve been growing for nine months can angrily claw its way out.   Who in their right mind would do that willingly?   You’re just walking along one day and think to yourself, “You know, I think it’s time I turn my vagina into an Arby’s Beef and Cheddar (minus the cheddar) and saddle myself down for a minimum of eighteen years to someone who will suck the soul and the will to live right out of my body so I’m a shell of the person I used to be and can’t get laid even if I pay for it.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw,”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“I'm a quirky, intelligent, dark haired chick!   Me, me, me, pick me!   And who the hell keeps whining and ruining my perfect moment?   I will cut a bitch.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“I remember that night fondly. And by fondly, I mean with bitter resentment toward all things alcoholic and with a penis.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“I had been out of the game for too long. I couldn’t even get drunk and flirt anymore. I could however, get drunk and look like a stroke victim.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“I suddenly had a vision of my sperm swimming around and talking in Bruce Willis’s voice like in Look Who’s Talking. “Come on! Swim faster! This little shit has no idea we escaped from the condom! Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“In hind sight, telling him all strangers wanted to eat him wasn’t my finest hour. Having to explain to a bunch of crying children in line to see Santa why my kid was screaming ‘DON’T GO NEAR HIM! HE’LL EAT YOUR FINGERS!’ was no picnic.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do, watcha gonna do when they cut your wiener,” Gavin sang as he pointed his gun at random objects.
“Wow, cops have gotten pretty hardcore lately” Carter muttered.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“Holy shit, did they just kill off that fish’s wife?” I blurted in shock.
“Yep,” Gavin replied. “That big, mean fish ated her.”
He said it so calmly – like it was no big deal that a sweet, loving cartoon fish just got murdered. What the fuck was wrong with this movie? This couldn’t be appropriate for kids. I didn’t think it was appropriate for me.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“Pussy punch: when a twat tap just isn't enough”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“Oh my God, I sent a picture of my boobs to Jim," I moaned as a fresh wave of nausea rolled through me.

"You also threw up in the emergency room parking lot, called Drew and told him you were the Donkey Punch Dick Queen and filled out a Last Will and Testament on a Burger King napkin and then asked the drive-thru worker to notarize it.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“All the baby books written by women who had the most perfect birth experience in the world said you should talk to your child in the womb. That was about the only piece of advice I took from those things. Every day I told him if he ruined my vagina I would video tape his birth and show all his future girlfriends what happened to your who-ha when you had sex, ensuring that he will never, ever get laid.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“Your tits are like Bounty. The quicker dick picker upper.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks

Tara Sivec
“Claire was going to hate me. Our son was sucked into the pits of hell while I was watching General Hospital. God damn you Brenda and Sonny for making me lose focus.”
Tara Sivec, Seduction and Snacks


Reading Progress

10/11/2012
26.0% "OMG I fucking love this book! I am seriously laughing my ass off right now!!!!
*sorry for the foul language**" 2 comments
10/11/2012
38.0% ""She smells like chocolate and I don't like to be spanked"
Way to go sparky! Great first impression to give a girls father! Especially after telling him he has old balls and you slept with his wife... err daughter! LOL!!!" 1 comment
10/12/2012
82.0% "Love Love Love this book!!"
10/12/2012
95.0% "this shit needs to be made into a movie like pronto!"
show 1 hidden update…

Comments (showing 1-14 of 14) (14 new)

dateDown_arrow    newest »

Nikki I literally just started and am already laughing my ass off! Especially with the bounty quote! :)


Nikki I believe it! I'm already about to pee my pants and I'm only at Clair losing her v-card! LOL


Nikki Now I def can't wait cuz I do have a 3 year old son and he's a freakin riot!


Nikki LOL!!! I have no doubt about that Elizabeth! My boy already scares the hell outa me! :)


Nikki LOL! Oh jeez thank god for that! (no offense!! :) I only have one diva! One of each and I decided that was good for me!! :)


Nikki Oh dear God that is what scares the hell out of me!!! My daughter is 4 going on 14 and I am terrified of teenage years!! Like seriously... TERRIFIED!! In some ways my son is easier, but in others I think he's the devil himself!! It's a toss up for which is the easier of the two...


message 7: by Nikki (last edited Oct 11, 2012 05:52PM) (new) - rated it 5 stars

Nikki LOL I now get the 'cray cray' comment to its full hilariousness!! :)

And OMFG Gavin just found her vibrator!!! Holy Hell my side hurts from laughing so damn hard!!!!


Renee Nicole I thought the funniest part in this book was at the beginning when Gavin got his first boner. Good God, I was crying from laughing so hard! He is definitely my favorite in that book, lol!


Nikki OMG YES!!!! Gavin reminds me sooo much of my son!! Its hilarious!


message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

Fantastic review, Nikki! Your emotions are so infectious :) Gonna read the book soon.


Nikki Lazy Jeff wrote: "Fantastic review, Nikki! Your emotions are so infectious :) Gonna read the book soon."


YAY!! :) I love passing on good books! You'll love it I'm sure!


Steph Loved your review, Nikki. Can't wait to read this :)


message 13: by R (new) - added it

R Sold. I need a good laugh


Flavs is Mrs David Gandy♥~♥’ Just started, loving it. It is Totally Hilarious!!!
Awesome Review Nikki


back to top