Bradley's Reviews > James Potter and the Hall of Elders' Crossing

James Potter and the Hall of Elders' Crossing by G. Norman Lippert
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Sep 18, 2012

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So I'm only at the part where James has just entered the school.
This author is on the edge of having a successful book here. But he hasn't crossed over enough. No, this isn't Rowling's style. It shouldn't be because it's from Jame's perspective, I suppose... But it still is a little sloppy. Is this book supposed to be so bam, slam, thank you ma'm? I mean, we go from James ALREADY on the train, to the train moving... There was no focus on those in the compartment with him. Zane and Ralph are highly underdeveloped. I don't really get James yet and he's already inside Hogwarts. The author should have obtained our undivided attention way before James arrived at school. Instead all we know about James is he's big headed, ridding on his father's reputation. I don't want to read about that. I want to know who James is!
When James arrived at Hogsmeade Station there wasn't anyone to receive the first years? The author should have at least told us about someone hollering in the background, even if that person didn't have direct contact with James. That's just the sort of stuff that keeps the story real.
And when James walks into the lobby he sees FILCH AND MRS. NORIS? That squib should have been dead by now... Why did you bring him into the story and then introduce him like a stoic silent statue mickey mouse standing at the theme park gates? You didn't say anything about the character except he had Mrs. Noris in his arms.
Just try to develop the flow? a little better. I think the author is on the verge of gold here, just not quite there.
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09/18/2012
4.0%

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