Monica!'s Reviews > I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats

I Could Pee on This by Francesco Marciuliano
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After some debate, I think my favorite thing about I Could Pee on This is the way it’s cat-sized.

Unlike heavy “people” books, which delicate felines might have trouble grasping in their paws, this poetry collection is petite and dainty.

Just like kitty.



Honestly I don’t know I would pay $12.95 U.S. for the pleasure of reading the inner musings of my cat’s mind, even cast down as it is in brilliant punctuation-free print, but it was still hysterically fun to look through.

The assembled cat poets wax eloquent on everything from clawing their owner’s face as a sign of love, to breaking their owner’s vases which is their owner’s fault anyway for owning delicate shit.

Plus there are pictures. Adorable pictures.

It’s easily the best animal-written book of poetry I’ve ever read.



Your Keyboard

Suetdhe8defdisja
I just typed a poem on your presentation
Chsothekstevdswdj
I just typed a joke in your email
Nosyd76mhdlwdag
I just typed something personal on your update
Vos7swps8s73wbk
I just typed my political views in your tweet
Bhst9ahw-2ynsyhz
I just accidentally typed in your bank account password
Kitty’s gonna buy himself a new scratching post



Something’s Wrong

Something’s wrong
Why are the walls a different color?
Something’s not right
When did we get these stairs?
Something’s off
How did the kitchen move across the floor?
Something’s going on
Who changed all the homes outside?
Something’s very odd
Why are you mispronouncing “Georgia” as “New York”?
Something happened
When you put me in that carrying case
And someday soon
I will figure it out
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Comments (showing 1-8 of 8) (8 new)

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Kelly H. (Maybedog) This sounds funny even though I'm not fond of cats. I think I have to take a look at it.


Monica! Yeah, it's definitely meant for cat people (um, people who like cats, not people who are cats) but I think you'll like it.


message 3: by Lisa (new)

Lisa That looks like one happy cat you've got yourself there. Except the kitty really owns you, hence the bed that's nicer than mine.


Monica! Lisa wrote: "That looks like one happy cat you've got yourself there. Except the kitty really owns you, hence the bed that's nicer than mine."

Actually, now that you point it out, that bed is noticeably classier than the one I sleep in.... :D


Kelly H. (Maybedog) Me, too, but mine at least looks more comfy. I fit it better.


message 6: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Cats do love dangling their limbs out of tight sleeping quarters. Mine don't get that, as much as I love them, I can't move when they surround me on my bed, tightening the covers like Lilliputians tying down Gulliver.


Monica! Lisa wrote: "Cats do love dangling their limbs out of tight sleeping quarters. Mine don't get that, as much as I love them, I can't move when they surround me on my bed, tightening the covers like Lilliputians ..."

Ha! I had a cat who used to lay on my chest and very, very slowly as the night progressed creep closer and closer to my face, so that I'd wake up at 2am smothering in fur. Which made no sense, because I'm *sure* the blankets and pillows were more comfortable than my nose....


message 8: by Lisa (new)

Lisa I've come to the conclusion that we are merely large heating pads for cats.


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