Ami's Reviews > This is Yours

This is Yours by Val Kovalin
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Sep 03, 12

bookshelves: mm-free, mm-best_friends
Read on September 03, 2012

2.5 stars

When I rate a story, it always comes back to the core question "do I like it?". While this story is a nice appetizer for the upcoming full-length novel, my answer to that question would be "not so much". My reason comes from my dislike over the writing style or how the story is structured.

First of all, the story is written from Alejo's perspective as if he's talking (or writing the story) for Bobby. So the story comes like this:

....

Bobby, you and I looked at each other. We were being promoted to temporary manhood for that one night. Isidro’s voice cracked as he asked my sister for a Dos Equis, and he blushed. With a sympathetic smile, Christina handed one over. She didn’t make fun of him, as Graciela might have. I took a Tecate because I liked the name. You chose a Tecate, too.

....

Some people don't like first person POV. Some people don't like present tense. This style makes me feel detached, like I'm not 'invited' to be part of their life. I don't like feeling like I'm being excluded from the story.

Secondly, the story starts with "In 1980, my parents’ Mexican restaurant became very successful" ... so I'm 'set' with the 1980 as a timeline. Then in the middle, there's the flashback that starts with "Bobby, you remember when we first met. It was 1972 in the cloister at Our Lady of Sorrows after Easter Mass, and we were six years old...." right in the middle of description of the fight night. I am usually okay with flashback, but at the time I'm reading this, I'm probably not in the mood. I find it distracting (I read another story with flashback in the middle prior to this story, and also found it distracting). So the back and forth time switch is not favorable this time -- though I remember I like it alright in the first book.

It's just personal things, as always the case with being a reader. I'm sure there will be others who will like it more so than I.

I am still waiting for the upcoming novel, though. Especially since it has road trip!
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Comments (showing 1-2 of 2) (2 new)

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message 1: by Hannah (last edited Sep 03, 2012 06:57AM) (new)

Hannah Some people don't like first person POV. Some people don't like present tense. This style makes me feel detached, like I'm not 'invited' to be part of their life. I don't like feeling like I'm being excluded from the story.

I once read a novella that was a combination of first person past tense and second person future tense. It was strange, but kind of awesome. But the second person future bits were a mother speaking to her daughter, and so it worked better. I wouldn't like it in a romance.


message 2: by Ami (new) - rated it 2 stars

Ami Hannah wrote: "I once read a novella that was a combination of first person past tense and second person future tense..."

I usually don't mind tenses -- I am not an English native speaker, so past present, past tense, future tense, present tense ... they all feel 'the same' for me. But this one has the story of Alejo talking to Bobby directly, and for me, it feels weird.


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