Matt's Reviews > Army of Me

Army of Me by N. Lamont Weaver
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M 50x66
's review
Aug 30, 12

did not like it
bookshelves: read-in-2012, worst-books
Read from August 21 to 30, 2012

** spoiler alert ** Warning there are a lot of spoilers in here.












If I were to just base my review and comments on the potential of this novel in the first 5-10% it would be much higher than a lowly 1 star. However as I continued to read this it became apparent that this wasn't going to be a good novel.

Start out with a genius level boy at age 5. He writes a computer operating system that revolutionizes the world, yet he gives it away free, just so that he can get onto the Tonight Show. Weird, but I can dig the idea of a young idiot savant in computing. But that has very little to do with what follows.

After destroying Microsoft, he creates a software program that makes 400 million dollars seemingly overnight from a 2000 dollar investment via rapid stock echanges. Fast forward a few years and this is now worth a trillion dollars. Sure, that's conceivable...

Now if you were the first trillionaire what would you do? Here's a condensed list of what Kevin Kelvin manages to do (before he is 20)

1. Protect his gay clothier in prison after taking the heat for Kevin murdering several people in retaliation for his parents murder by paying a gang.

2. Develop gene therapy that can essentially revert you physical age to 20 years old.

3. Buy the country Namibia

4. Develop a super cheap and effiecient battery from thorium

5. Discover Neanderthal population and successfully transplant them into Thorway

6. Have rediculous sex with too many attractive women to be plausible

7. Create a network of satellites that can vaporize anything with a click of a mouse

8. Take down a drug kingpin in Mexico

9. Develop an gravitational propulsion system for a space ship

10. Travel to mars in 35 days

The list goes on, but for a novel that is only about 360 pages there is too much going on. There is absolutely no effort made to explain how or why any of these things work in reality, just a bunch of pseudo science and some vague references to different scientists or theories. It almost feels like the author had a list of things he wanted to write a novel about, but none were able to be developed so he just went down the list, checking things off as he crammed them into this disaster.

Kevin Kelvin may be the worst developed character that I have EVER read. And I will admit to reading the Twilight Saga. He has no emotion, depth, or personality. He is a cold blooded mass murderer who has a penchant for orgies and weed. He is tall and blonde. And Smart. Thats all we know about him after a whole novel. Oh and he won a Nobel Peace Prize after destroying Saudi Arabia/Muslim faith.

Yeah.

Seeing as the rating system starts with +1 star, I would ask anyone reading this to imagine the 1 as a negative star.

-1/5

Not even good in the way bad novels can be good. -1 for wasting my time finishing this heap.

I seem to be on the other side of the fence on this one. All of the other reviews were 5 star... including the author's.

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Reading Progress

08/23/2012
15.0% "A super intelligent 5 year old kid who wants to explore space and has the ability to make hundreds of millions of dollars overnight... okay different plot but I can buy into it.
The writing is very sub-par. Very easy reading without any challenge. I have a feeling the author is going to throw a bunch of poorly explained psuedo-science at me"
08/23/2012
25.0% "What the hell is this book? I know I downloaded it for free from Amazon, but just because it is free doesn't mean it shouldn't have a sensible plot.
This Kevin Kelvin character is the most unbelievable and hollow character I have ever read (And I have read Twilight...)
I'll finish the book, if only to see how much more impossible things this kid can do just because the author says so. 1/5 already... may drop more"
08/23/2012
42.0% "My god, this is actually getting worse. The story is all over the place, the plot has died and the only character that has any development is Kevin and it is poorly done.
Too many subplots that aren't really important, or that I can reason why they are. Laughable social/sexual interactions. I'll finish this by tomorrow and probably go back to a sci-fi author like Robert J Sawyer."
08/25/2012
62.0% "Having a hard time with this one. It is just not well written. Despite the terrible grammar and spelling mistakes in the Kindle version, the story is just a mish-mash of random science-y ideas and none of them are explained or built upon.
We've got space, Namibia, thorium, Neanderthals, youth serums, stock software, world hunger/water/power, murder...
And the weirdly unnecessary sex scenes don't add value either"
08/30/2012
81.0% "I took a two-day break from this book just to clear my head and maybe come back and see something of value in it. Guess what? I didn't help. Its still cheesy, poorly edited and random stuff just happens. Kevin just destroyed an entire country and crippled the Muslim faith just to get his girlfriend back? And it wasn't even described, it just happened. Proves that anyone can publish a book nowadays"

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