Sarah Null's Reviews > Breaking Dawn

Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer
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's review
Nov 21, 08

bookshelves: magic-and-sci-fi, junk-food, young-adult, romance, craptastic
Recommended for: girlie teens
Read in November, 2008

** spoiler alert ** So here's the thing: If you're going to write fantasy or magical realism, you have to at least know the rules of the world you've created and stick to them. Otherwise the fantastic is that much harder to believe. But Meyer doesn't adhere to the rules she set out. For example, how does a vampire get an erection with no blood in his veins? How does a vampire, whose body never goes through any changes, produce sperm? Or was it 100-year-old sperm that made Renesmee? And in a much smaller vein (no pun intended), what about the cars the Cullens drive? In the first book Edward tells Bella that Rosalie doesn't usually take her red convertible to school because they try to be unassuming, inconspicuous, not ostentatious, or whatever. But then he buys Alice a yellow Porsche and Bella a Ferrari? Really?

But the biggest problem with this series is it's just too long for what actually happens. For every one or two pages of action there are chapters and chapters and chapters of discussion, preparation, and exposition. 4 pages of after-sex arguing was overkill. There are 600 pages of build-up in this book and then at the end, nothing. happens. Where, oh where, was the editor?
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11/15/2008 page 146
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message 1: by Karen (new)

Karen Hi Sarah, I don't read these books but your review made me laugh out loud, Great review!

Amelia But, Bella finally grew a spine, Sarah girl!

Ah, well, we always have Harry...

message 3: by Sarah (last edited Nov 18, 2008 10:25AM) (new) - rated it 2 stars

Sarah Null Yeah, but it took her becoming a vampire (and a mother) to do it! The whole time she was human she was whiny, klutzy, always in need of saving, ungrateful, etc. Where was the strong HUMAN woman in her? Nowhere. Why WAS she worthy of Edward's love? She had not one redeeming quality that I could see, other than the fact that her blood smelled good and she didn't freak out when she found out about vampires.

Of course, then there's Edward: overprotective, overreactionary, never letting Bella do or have or learn anything for herself. He was only too happy to buy her way into college and "help" her with her studies... if she wasn't going to be learning anything, what was the point?


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

Sarah--I had exactly the same reaction to Bella and to Edward. What irritating main characters.

Amelia *throws hands in the air muttering "Potterites"*

Robbie Bashore Okay, this got a very loud laugh out loud! How does he get an erection without blood in his veins? Hee-hee! Special vampire hydraulics, of course! ;)

Robbie Bashore I think I want to read these last two just for the stupid sex and nearly-sex scenes :D

Sarah Null Robbie, there aren't any sex scenes. You know when you're watching TV, and the couple on the show start to kiss, and they lie down on the bed, and then the camera pans over to the lamp on the nightstand, and suddenly it's the next morning? It's like that.

Sarah Null But here's what the sex scene might have been like:

Robbie Bashore Sarah--that link made my day! Thanks for sharing. You've given me so many LOLs lately :)

message 11: by C. (new) - added it

C. I can't believe they were your biggest problems with the book!

Sarah Null Those were the biggest problems I had that I hadn't already mentioned in the reviews for the other books.

message 13: by C. (new) - added it

C. fair enough :) clearly, I haven't read your other reviews.

Michelle My biggest problem with the book is that Renesmee is quite possibly the stupidest baby name ever.

Sarah Null I don't know. It's not as bad as Apple or Moonbeam or Pilot Inspekter.

Michelle I like all of those better than Renesmee.

Sarah Null Correction: Moon Unit.
At least with Renesmee you can shorten it. How would you shorten Pilot Inspekter? Pile?

message 18: by Georg (new)

Georg I have never read vampire or sci-fi novels. "If anything is possible nothing matters", that's always been my motto. But now I know how seriously you take these fairy tales. "For example, how does a vampire get an erection with no blood in his veins?" Well, no problem. He learnt the right spell from Harry Potter: "Boner fidem erectus esse". (Try it: it always works)

Michelle Heh. Pile.

I was also disappointed in the cut-to-the-next-day sex scene, but I can see why she did it.

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