Paquita Maria Sanchez's Reviews > Diane - The Twin Peaks Tapes of Agent Cooper

Diane - The Twin Peaks Tapes of Agent Cooper by Kyle MacLachlan
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Aug 05, 12


If you're like me in that you generally find audiobooks more difficult to pay strict attention to than an 8am lecture on statistics, but you still want something to do while cleaning your apartment, may I suggest listening to the soothing voice and sage observations of the man of my dreams? (Dale, not Kyle.) Are you the sort of person who still finds it heartbreaking that Twin Peaks stopped when it did, and punch at the air in frustration when watching or even thinking about the show's final scene? (The scene which, in my opinion, was the ultimate middle finger in the air by Lynch for his show getting canceled. "Oh, you're getting bored with my show, huh? Well, why don't you chew on this ending for the rest of your days then, fuckers!" *Punch, punch*) Anyway, this is where to go if you want to re-embrace that wholesome, dreamy FBI agent in all his starched and pressed zen glory.

Some of the Diane tapes are pulled directly from the show, but many of them expand upon/extend scenes and provide additional insight into Cooper's premonitions about the case, the town, and the characters (in every sense of the word) who drift in and out of Lynch's brilliant, crazy world. If you're a big fan of the show, you'll have no trouble placing them within the larger context of its chronology/mythology. Also, a lot of this audiobook is just Cooper telling you how to look at the world through a healthy lens by appreciating the little things, all while cracking his signature jokes which are so charming because he isn't even trying to be funny (Dale, not Kyle). Additionally, the short audio clips would make for some great mix-tape fodder.

I find this sort of Twin Peaks spin-off nonsense a lot more appealing than, say, the Laura Palmer's diary end of things. Then again, I'm biased because Dale Cooper is probably my favorite television character ever created. Oh, and Kyle (I'm talking to Kyle now, not Dale): Showgirls? Really?

We miss you, Agent Cooper.
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Comments (showing 1-50 of 62) (62 new)


message 1: by Szplug (new)

Szplug I forgot that MacLachlan starred in TP. Lynch seemed to like him for a spell.


Paquita Maria Sanchez Oh yeah, he got that man's career a-goin'. Shame what he ended up doing with it.


Paquita Maria Sanchez That was about when I first read it, as well. Maybe 13. It's pretty silly, if I remember correctly. The thing I most recall about it is that Laura was very serious about changing her underwear before bed.

My best friend's sister got detention for reading it at school.


Paquita Maria Sanchez Yes, Mariel! That sketch is on the box set. So funny.


Paquita Maria Sanchez I totally want to solve a crime dressed as an Eskimo seal hunter.


message 6: by Jason (new)

Jason Paquita Maria wrote: "The scene which, in my opinion, was the ultimate middle finger in the air by Lynch for his show getting canceled. "Oh, you're getting bored with my show..."

I've always thought the same thing! That was a huge FU from Lynch. One of my favorite shows ever, though.


Paquita Maria Sanchez Man, a season following that cliffhanger would've been the shit, too!


Paquita Maria Sanchez Something that has always made me happy:

Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it; don't wait for it; just let it happen. It could be a new shirt in a men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black, coffee.

Damn right!


message 9: by Szplug (new)

Szplug Do you give yourself a present every day?


Paquita Maria Sanchez I try! It may be vulgar, it may be unhealthy, or it may be totally useless in the long-run, but I would say yes.


message 11: by Szplug (new)

Szplug It's an interesting concept. Even if I ranged as widely as you are allowing, I'm not sure I could say I do the same, especially in that I'm a pattern-forming dude, and repetition kills some of the giftiness, no?

I mean, I buy lots of books that I am, in all likelihood, not only never going to read, but forget that I actually own. Is that a present, or just a manifestation of an obsessive/compulsive disorder? Now you've got me thinking...


Paquita Maria Sanchez I dare you to watch this show for at least 8 episodes. DOUBLE DARE. If you don't, you're clearly a sissy britches. Dare? Dare.


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

Oh, man was that last episode a fuck you to everyone. But hearts to everything else on the show. I admit it, I read the seeeeekreeet diary. Not as prurient as I'd hoped. Sigh.


message 14: by Szplug (new)

Szplug Was that dare directed at moi? And it's to be sissy britches, is it?


message 16: by Szplug (last edited Jul 24, 2012 09:44PM) (new)

Szplug What are you, some kind of MacLachlan-swooning dare bully? Where the heck am I going to find the time to watch eight episodes of this show?

But, then again, sissy britches will be a tough one to live down—I feel kind of girly already...


Paquita Maria Sanchez See! I have dared you! You know, honestly, you are my favorite person to harass on this site, because you're all private and OCD, BUT! You're also really nice and humble and stuff. So, yeah. If you don't watch 8 episodes of Twin Peaks, you're totally a total pussy. Totally.

...Pussy.
?


message 18: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Meow!


message 19: by Szplug (last edited Jul 24, 2012 10:31PM) (new)

Szplug Holy shit, I just got bad cop/good copped by Paquita Maria Sanchez, with The Eh! Train spelling her after the switch! This Twin Peaks clearly attracts some real sickos...

Will you watch Sunshine if I do? Like, soonish?


Paquita Maria Sanchez Yep! Handshake! I will watch it first thing tomorrow.


message 21: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! Tag teaming! Although, I've never watched this Twin Peaks so my sicko-ness is my very own.


Paquita Maria Sanchez Eh! You would totally love it, methinks! Watch it with the Irishman!


message 23: by Szplug (last edited Jul 24, 2012 10:56PM) (new)

Szplug What a pair of smooth operators. Eh!, perhaps your bent proclivities are a result of too much time in podunk places...

And now old men soon to be spending quality time with Kyle MacCleftchin & co. need their sleep. G'night!


Paquita Maria Sanchez G'night! You better watch that show, Sastre. You better!


message 25: by Jason (new)

Jason The Eh! Train wrote: "Tag teaming! Although, I've never watched this Twin Peaks so my sicko-ness is my very own."

<giant air suck-in gasp!!!>


message 26: by Miriam (new)

Miriam I haven't seen it, either.


message 27: by Jenn(ifer) (new)

Jenn(ifer) I feel the same way about Don Draper. Not Jon Hamm. Who cares about Jon Hamm?

I miss you agent Cooper. I miss you Ben Horn. I miss you Leland Palmer, you crazy feck.


message 28: by Jason (new)

Jason Jenn(ifer) wrote: "I miss you Leland Palmer, you crazy feck."

SPOILER ALERT!!


message 29: by Jason (new)

Jason Hm...I wonder why I have absolutely zero recollection of that. That's Billy Zane? I mean I vaguely remember him but plane? tarmac? I remember lounge singing @ The Roadhouse...


message 30: by Jason (last edited Jul 25, 2012 01:47PM) (new)

Jason No, that was Ben Horne. That I remember.


message 31: by Cynthia (new)

Cynthia Loved Agent Cooper and Andy and the Sheriff Harry S. Truman (dreamy) and Lucy. Who was the jerky FBI agent again?


message 32: by mark (new)

mark monday i love being reminded of Twin Peaks. thanks for that, PM!

i love that last scene/Lynch's middle finger to the fickle audience. perfect.

i like how Fire Walk With Me answers at least a couple questions left hanging at the end of that scene. some very sad answers! oh the humanity

Billy Zane's role was incredibly creepy. and yet he was supposed to be a good guy. maybe it's just Billy Zane who is incredibly creepy.

Josie Packard was one of my favorites. her ending was one of my least favorites. a doorknob? really?


message 33: by mark (new)

mark monday i agree.

so what did you think of Inland Empire?


message 34: by Jason (new)

Jason mark wrote: "i agree.

so what did you think of Inland Empire?"


If we're doing lynch movie lists, here's mine:

1. Blue Velvet
2. Eraserhead
3. The Straight Story
4. Mulholland Drive
5. Elephant Man
6. Fire Walk with Me

Kowalski would have serious issues with this list, but screw him.


message 35: by mark (last edited Jul 25, 2012 03:35PM) (new)

mark monday 0. Twin Peaks: the tv movie (first 2 hours of the series)
1. Blue Velvet
2. Mulholland Dr.
3. Lost Highway
4. MUTHAFUCKIN' DUNE
5. Eraserhead
6. The Straight Story
7. Inland Empire
8. The Elephant Man
9. Fire Walk with Me
10. Wild at Heart


message 36: by Jason (new)

Jason wait, how are you seeing those shows if you don't have a TV?

And why don't you have a TV?? I thought I was bad, for having no cable and only getting over-the-air reception via antenna.


message 37: by Jenn(ifer) (new)

Jenn(ifer) ooo ooo! Lynch movie love lists! here's my top 10:

1. Elephant Man (cos it was the first one I saw when I was a little kid and it disturbs me to this day. Great flick!)
2. Eraserhead
3. Dune
4. Blue Velvet
5. Mullholland Drive
6. Lost Highway
7. Wild at Heart
8. Elephant Man
9. Elephant Man
10. Elephant Man


message 38: by Jason (new)

Jason Jenn(ifer) wrote: "1. Elephant Man
...
8. Elephant Man
9. Elephant Man
10. Elephant Man "


<snarf>


message 39: by Jason (new)

Jason Bird Brian wrote: "Tuner on the TV was damaged when we moved, so it doesn't receive any signals; it's only good for showing DVDs."

Ok, so you do have a TV. We basically use ours solely for DVD-watching, too. No wonder we get along so well!


message 40: by Jason (new)

Jason But you are missing some quality PBS programming, Brian. You should get that tuner fixed!


message 41: by David (last edited Jul 25, 2012 04:32PM) (new)

David Jason wrote: "Kowalski would have serious issues with this list, but screw him. "

You're damn right I do!

1. Mulholland Drive (not just my favorite Lynch movie--my favorite movie--period)
2. Fire Walk With Me
3. Blue Velvet
4. The Straight Story
5. Dune
6. Wild at Heart
7. Inland Empire
8. Eraserhead
9. Lost Highway

(The only one I don't like is Lost Highway.)


message 42: by Cynthia (new)

Cynthia I can not STAND Mulholland Drive.


message 43: by David (new)

David The perfection of it is too much for you, eh?


message 44: by Jason (new)

Jason David wrote: "The perfection of it is too much for you, eh?"

hahahah i love this kid. just laughed out loud for reals.


message 45: by Cynthia (new)

Cynthia It makes me feel STUPid. Like what the what? I should understand, but I do not. I am no kid I am 51.


message 46: by Janice (new)

Janice David wrote: (The only one I don't like is Lost Highway.)

WHAT?!?!?! Lost Highway is utter perfection!


message 47: by Jenn(ifer) (new)

Jenn(ifer) David wrote: "Jason wrote: "Kowalski would have serious issues with this list, but screw him. "

You're damn right I do!

1. Mulholland Drive (not just my favorite Lynch movie--my favorite movie--period)
2. Fir..."


And Elephant Man apparently


Paquita Maria Sanchez Cynthia wrote: "Loved Agent Cooper and Andy and the Sheriff Harry S. Truman (dreamy) and Lucy. Who was the jerky FBI agent again?"

That would be Albert Rosenfield, who is just about my favorite character on that series. Almost. "He hit me."


Paquita Maria Sanchez I sorta want to try Agent Cooper's "Damn fine cup of coffee" spiel everywhere. You know, like in Denny's, IHOP, 711, on an airplane, at Starbucks, at the dentist's office.


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