Courage's Reviews > Love Unscripted

Love Unscripted by Tina Reber
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Jul 22, 2012

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Read in July, 2012

Hm.. I think my main problem with this book was its length. Not that I mind reading long novels (Gone With the Wind is definitely in my top 5), but this book was so incongruous at parts that it made me a very confused reader. Some parts dragged, some parts rushed past. I mean really, 600 pages?! My word.

Let's call the first 150 pages foreplay. Because really, that's all they were. You know that Tayrn and Ryan are going to get together at some point, so to read about them flirting like schoolchildren and going out on not-quite-dates was simply aggravating. It's nice when the male and female leads don't automatically jump into a relationship, which is what so often happens in books of late, but it was evident that Reber stalled the romance between the two solely for the purpose of stalling. The dynamic between the two was also quite befuddling at first. High-fives and smug looks? I'm sorry, but I wasn't aware I picked up a Candy Apple book. The text is filled with sentences like these!

Marie grumbled and stamped her foot.
'Thanks! Thanks a lot!'

Right! You know what I mean! I felt like I was time-warped back to middle school. Back to when you ended all your texts to your crush with exclamations and silly emoticons, because you were sure your messages would be lost in translation if there wasn't an explicit symbol that followed. You also stuck your tongue out a lot, because you were thuper mature, and you typed LyKe DiS~
I thought Reber was pulling my leg at first.. but no, she simply hasn't graduated from elementary-level sentence structuring.

I especially hate it when authors feel the need to spell everything out for their readers.

“Do you want champagne or wine before dinner?” Ryan asked.
“You choose,” I replied. I wanted him to make the decision.

This kissing was different. Maybe it was my perception, but it wasn’t the ‘slide my tongue around in your mouth I’m so hot for you’ kind of kiss. It was more tender, personal, and loving.

Whatever happened to the value of a DIY attitude?

There are instances in which either Tayrn or Ryan will pull away from a kiss with a smirk or smug look on her/his face. ..What? From my knowledge, a smirk is meant to be condescending or taunting. I would not want my boyfriend to have his face pulled into a smirk after kissing me, or else he should expect to lose his ability to smirk when I finished with him. Smirking. Just.. not romantic.

There are also some weird fetishes going on between the two. I swear, there is a page-full of dialogue and descriptions of Tayrn and Ryan gettin all up in each other's personal bubbles.. to sniff each other. When Ryan wears some old clothes that belonged to Tayrn's father, it gets her all hot and bothered. Tayrn also keeps tabs on when Ryan goes to bathroom, and knows when he does his #2 business each day. But then again, what more can you expect from Reber's version of Robsten?

The main basis of the relationship between Tayrn and Ryan is founded in the fact that Tayrn accepts Ryan for who he is, not what he does. She has yet to watch the movie that propelled him to stardom, and she thus loves him and not the character he plays. This begs the question though, what would Tayrn have done if some actor she DID admire and idolize stepped into her life? What if it was Ryan Gosling who ran into her bar that fateful day? Would she have acted prim and non-invasive as she did with Ryan? Reber emphasizes the difference between Tayrn and all those other lust-crazed fans hungering after superstar Ryan Christensen, but does Tayrn's ability to love him merely stem from the fact that she was not previously fangirl-ing after him?

Believe it or not, it was more the second half of the book that pissed me off. All of a sudden, the characters were all part of some super clichéed daytime soap like Days of Our Lives. There's not much I can say without revealing some plot line components.. but just trust me when I say that things got weird, fast. All this story needed was some incest and a drag queen, and then the telenovela-fest could officially start.

Tayrn would say that she hates the media and how they print libel on poor Ryan's life, and yet she compulsively checked the tabloids and online trash blogs whenever she could. At the beginning of the book, Tayrn was portrayed as a no-nonsense bar owner who knew her business, in regards to her bar and her love life. Near the end though, she seemed to have turned into one of those obsessive, jealous girlfriends who had majorly alarming trust issues. She wants him, she wants him not.. WOMAN MAKE UP YOUR MIND! Gee whiz.

And so for these reasons and more, I found it hard to really connect with the main characters. There were several shifts in the book that left me scratching my head and mouthing, "..Wah?" If you don't mind plot jumps and jumbled story lines, this might be the book for you.

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