2.5.

Holly suppresses every feeling. Despite having recently dealt with losing her first true love/best male friend and less-recently, the death of her father after a long and painful illness, Holly hasn't allowed herself the opportunity to grieve, to get angry, to feel anything about either situation. It's through her time living with new boyfriend Tim and her time bonding with her charming co-worker Nick that Holly beings to see and understand how important it is to not only open up to other people, but to open up to herself.

Buzo's writing moves fluidly from the present to the past -- the present being Holly in her early 20s and her past starting in her mid-teens forward -- but because Holly is so disconnected from herself and the events that have brought her to this place, I had a very hard time connecting to her. She's so far removed from herself that I found my reading experience feeling like she was herself telling me a story of herself, rather than telling me about herself without the safety of a story. It wasn't raw or painful but somewhat dull and, at least for me, easy to dismiss. It was sad, no doubt, but that was about all I could press into it.

That said, there's something effective in this writing style because it gets directly to the heart of who and what Holly is. She IS this removed and distanced from her past. We get this immediately and we follow it through to the end when she has the realization that (view spoiler)[ her mother, who she always felt she needed to guide through loss, was actually handling loss and grief very healthfully and effectively. (hide spoiler)] This was further amplified through the relationships Holly made in her post-loss life: her romance with Tim is very quiet and not really explored in the story and she keeps Nick at an arm's distance until the very end. It is, of course, Nick who ends up helping Holly tap into those unexplored feelings.

Of all the characters, Nick was my favorite. He was quirky and charming but also level-headed and offered an ear before he offered a mouth to Holly. In other words, he was a real and honest friend, and I loved when Holly had that moment of realization. It was about this point -- maybe 2/3 of the way through the story -- where I finally figured Holly out and was eager to see her get through this.

This would be a neat book to pair with CK Kelly Martin's COME SEE ABOUT ME since they tackle grief and figuring out what lies ahead for those who are young but not teenagers. I didn't think Buzo's book was as strong, but it was still enjoyable.

*Thanks to Catie for passing this one along to me!