David's Reviews > Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
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's review
Dec 30, 2014

liked it
bookshelves: young-adult-childrens
Read in June, 2001

In 2015 I'm really going to give up sweets. Forever. I just want to be an 8% body-fat Adonis-built man, and I can't be that if I eat chocolate in the extreme and life-threatening degree that I currently do. I'm like Augustus Gloop, but obviously not nearly that level of obese. But I am that fat on the inside.

Can you imagine if this book was written in 2014? All the fat-shaming of poor Augustus Gloop! He's really the hero of this story, living out his life of abject ugliness on the express track direct to Type II Diabetes. You practically can't mention healthy eating without eliciting some diatribe about: a) the various virtues and villainies of fad diets, b) the cure-all powers of kale, c) the importance of exercise, but ultimately the super-importance of diet, d) the you-go-girl attitude of don't-fat-shame-ers warning you that you're buying into our superficial culture obsessed with image and that you are inherently self-centered and/or biologically predestined in a way other people weren't, etc. Little do these puritans know, that I don't care a hair about any of that shit, I just want to look good!

What's wrong with wanting to look good, anyway? People have been wanting to look certain ways for as long as humankind has existed! Maybe Augustus grew up and into his body and became a bodybuilder or something, HOW ARE WE TO KNOW!? Maybe he was a late bloomer and rebelled against his childhood gluttony. Unfortunately for us readers we don't get that story, the real heart-warming fat-to-fitness story. Instead we get this crapload about goody-two-shoes Charlie inheriting some pedophile's chocolate conglomerate which lives off of the free-exploited labor of midgets (presumably Pacific-islander?). What a disgusting tale of consumerist excesses.
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Kleopatra Olympiou Haha, I think you qualify to be a Thesaurus Ambassador. If only they existed.
Particularly amused by "some pedophile's chocolate conglomerate"
Happy new year to you and your inner Augustus :)

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