Sign in with FacebookValerie's Reviews > The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun
The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun
by Gretchen Rubin (Goodreads Author)
by Gretchen Rubin (Goodreads Author)
Take-away from this book:
People are more likely to make progress on goals that are broken into concrete, measurable actions, with some kind of structured accountability and positive reinforcement.
The concept of "accessibility" suggested to me that by constantly reminding myself of certain goals and ideas, I could keep them more active in my mind.
Gretchen's 12 Commandments
1. Be Gretchen.
2. Let it go.
3. Act the way I want to feel.
4. Do it now.
5. Be polite and be fair.
6. Enjoy the process.
7. Spend out.
8. Identify the problem.
9. Lighten up.
10. Do what ought to be done.
11. No calculation.
12. There is only love.
Gretchen's Secrets of Adulthood
People don't notice your mistakes as much as you think.
It's okay to ask for help.
Most decisions don't require extensive research.
Do good, feel good.
It's important to be nice to everyone.
Bring a sweater.
By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
Soap and water remove most stains.
Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
If you can't find something, clean up.
You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you like to do.
Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
You don't have to be good at everything.
If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
What's fun for other people may not be fun for you - and vice versa.
People actually prefer that you buy gifts off their registry.
You can't profoundly change you children's natures by nagging them or signing them up for classes.
No deposit, no return.
You can get a vicarious thrill from others' happiness projects, from their abandonment of everyday worries; Walden, Eat Love Pray, etc.
Contemporary research shows that happy people are more altruistic, more productive, more helpful, more likable, more creative, more resilient, more interested in others,friendlier, and healthier. Happy people make better friends, colleagues and citizens.
Studies show that by acting as if you feel more energetic, you can become more energetic.
"Not exactly startling..." I love that phrase. :)
Intrinsic motivation people work for their own satisfaction.
Hawthorne effect - people being studied improve their performance.
Eliminating clutter would cut down the amount of housework in the average home by 40%.
Junk attracts more junk. When you get a new device, put the cords, manual, and all the stuff in a labeled ziploc bag. You avoid a big tangle of mystery cords and when you get rid of the device, you can get rid of the bag too.
To change our feelings, we should change our actions.
"It's by studying the little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery, and as much happiness as possible." Samuel Johnson
The atmosphere of my marriage sets the tone for my whole life.
"It's easy to be heavy: hard to be light." GK Chesterton
Hug for at least 6 seconds; minimum time necessary to promote the flow of oxytocin and serotonin, mood-boosting chemicals that promote bonding.
"Bosom enemy" - another phrase I love.
Seven deadly sins are not deadly because of the gravity but because of their power to generate other worse sins. ???
One of the great joys of falling in love is the feeling that the most extraordinary person in the entire world has chosen you.
Sometimes not expressing anger allows it to disappear without leaving ugly traces.
"Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure, nor this thing or that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing." - Yeats
It isn't goal attainment but the process of striving after goals-that is, growth-that brings happiness.
To be happy, I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
Enthusiasm is more to mastery than innate ability.
"The chief happiness of man is to be what he is." - Erasmus Be yourself.
Take pleasure in the atmosphere of growth, in the gradual process made toward a goal, in the present.
Enjoy now.
What did you like to do as a child? What you enjoyed when you were 10 is probably something you would enjoy now.
Both money and health contribute to happiness mostly in the negative; the lack of them brings much more unhappiness than possessing them brings happiness.
"The years as they pass plunder us of one thing after another." - Horace
"There is indeed something inexpressibly in the annual renovation of the world, and the new display of the treasures of nature." - Samuel Johnson
From a blog comment: "St. Francis of Assisi has taught me so much about accepting things that may appear as my enemy. Instead of hating, I can reframe a situation. For example, instead of hating mosquitoes I remind myself how they feed the birds and they too have a purpose. I still dislike them but I don't hate them like I used to. I love many things about St. Francis of Assisi and try to emulate him." I was this blog commenter. :)
Story of the Soul, St Therese of Lisieux
I can become happier by making small choices everyday.
Therese achieved sainthood by the perfection of small, ordinary acts; holiness achieved in a little way by little souls rather than by great deeds performed by great souls.
Therese's example shows that ordinary life is full of opportunities for worthy virtue.
"For the love of God and my Sisters, I take care to appear happy and especially to be so." - St. Therese of Lisieux
One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
Making time for a passion and treating it as a real priority instead of an "extra" to be fitted in at a free moment (which many people practically never have)will bring a tremendous happiness boost.
What you did as a 10 year old or what you do on a free Saturday afternoon is a good indicator of your passion.
Regarding passion, "do what you do" is helpful because it points you to examining your behaviour rather than your self-conception and therefore may be a clearer guide to your preferences.
Tackling a big project and carrying it through to the end of the month contributes hugely to the atmosphere of growth in one's life.
The atmosphere of growth is essential to happiness.
"Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult." - Samuel Johnson
"Nothing can make our lives, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness." - Tolstoy
"agony of exhaustion" - I like that phrase.
"Folks, that was not the fastest action we could have had." GR. funny
Distraction is a powerful mood-altering device.
If I keep resolutions and do the things that make me happier I end up feeling better and acting more virtuously. Do good, feel good. Feel good, do good.
Study what makes you happy and try to apply it to your life.
Transform an unfortunate personal situation into some larger good.
Single most effective step to GR happiness project was to keep her resolutions chart.
Even when I didn't do a perfect job with my resolutions, I did do better, and the more I kept my resolutions, the happier I was.
Difference in goals and resolutions: you hit a goal; you keep a resolution. With resolutions the expectations are different. Each day I try to live up to my resolutions.
The feeling of control is an essential element to happiness, a better predictor of happiness than income.
Recommended reading:
Lulu.com
Man's Search for Meaning. Victor Frankl
Into the Wild, John Krakhauer
Going Gray: What I Learned about Sex, Work, Motherhood,Ann Kreamer
Operating Instructions, Anne Lamott
Traveling Mercies, Anne Lamott
The Summing Up, W. Somerset O'Halloran
Lightening Up: How I stopped smoking, drinking and ..., Susan Shapiro
The No Asshole Rule: Building a workplace..., Robert Sutton
The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, Ben Franklin
Story of a Soul, St Therese of Liseaux
Everything written by Samuel Johnson
People are more likely to make progress on goals that are broken into concrete, measurable actions, with some kind of structured accountability and positive reinforcement.
The concept of "accessibility" suggested to me that by constantly reminding myself of certain goals and ideas, I could keep them more active in my mind.
Gretchen's 12 Commandments
1. Be Gretchen.
2. Let it go.
3. Act the way I want to feel.
4. Do it now.
5. Be polite and be fair.
6. Enjoy the process.
7. Spend out.
8. Identify the problem.
9. Lighten up.
10. Do what ought to be done.
11. No calculation.
12. There is only love.
Gretchen's Secrets of Adulthood
People don't notice your mistakes as much as you think.
It's okay to ask for help.
Most decisions don't require extensive research.
Do good, feel good.
It's important to be nice to everyone.
Bring a sweater.
By doing a little bit each day, you can get a lot accomplished.
Soap and water remove most stains.
Turning the computer on and off a few times often fixes a glitch.
If you can't find something, clean up.
You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you like to do.
Happiness doesn't always make you feel happy.
What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while.
You don't have to be good at everything.
If you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough.
Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.
Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
What's fun for other people may not be fun for you - and vice versa.
People actually prefer that you buy gifts off their registry.
You can't profoundly change you children's natures by nagging them or signing them up for classes.
No deposit, no return.
You can get a vicarious thrill from others' happiness projects, from their abandonment of everyday worries; Walden, Eat Love Pray, etc.
Contemporary research shows that happy people are more altruistic, more productive, more helpful, more likable, more creative, more resilient, more interested in others,friendlier, and healthier. Happy people make better friends, colleagues and citizens.
Studies show that by acting as if you feel more energetic, you can become more energetic.
"Not exactly startling..." I love that phrase. :)
Intrinsic motivation people work for their own satisfaction.
Hawthorne effect - people being studied improve their performance.
Eliminating clutter would cut down the amount of housework in the average home by 40%.
Junk attracts more junk. When you get a new device, put the cords, manual, and all the stuff in a labeled ziploc bag. You avoid a big tangle of mystery cords and when you get rid of the device, you can get rid of the bag too.
To change our feelings, we should change our actions.
"It's by studying the little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery, and as much happiness as possible." Samuel Johnson
The atmosphere of my marriage sets the tone for my whole life.
"It's easy to be heavy: hard to be light." GK Chesterton
Hug for at least 6 seconds; minimum time necessary to promote the flow of oxytocin and serotonin, mood-boosting chemicals that promote bonding.
"Bosom enemy" - another phrase I love.
Seven deadly sins are not deadly because of the gravity but because of their power to generate other worse sins. ???
One of the great joys of falling in love is the feeling that the most extraordinary person in the entire world has chosen you.
Sometimes not expressing anger allows it to disappear without leaving ugly traces.
"Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure, nor this thing or that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing." - Yeats
It isn't goal attainment but the process of striving after goals-that is, growth-that brings happiness.
To be happy, I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth.
Enthusiasm is more to mastery than innate ability.
"The chief happiness of man is to be what he is." - Erasmus Be yourself.
Take pleasure in the atmosphere of growth, in the gradual process made toward a goal, in the present.
Enjoy now.
What did you like to do as a child? What you enjoyed when you were 10 is probably something you would enjoy now.
Both money and health contribute to happiness mostly in the negative; the lack of them brings much more unhappiness than possessing them brings happiness.
"The years as they pass plunder us of one thing after another." - Horace
"There is indeed something inexpressibly in the annual renovation of the world, and the new display of the treasures of nature." - Samuel Johnson
From a blog comment: "St. Francis of Assisi has taught me so much about accepting things that may appear as my enemy. Instead of hating, I can reframe a situation. For example, instead of hating mosquitoes I remind myself how they feed the birds and they too have a purpose. I still dislike them but I don't hate them like I used to. I love many things about St. Francis of Assisi and try to emulate him." I was this blog commenter. :)
Story of the Soul, St Therese of Lisieux
I can become happier by making small choices everyday.
Therese achieved sainthood by the perfection of small, ordinary acts; holiness achieved in a little way by little souls rather than by great deeds performed by great souls.
Therese's example shows that ordinary life is full of opportunities for worthy virtue.
"For the love of God and my Sisters, I take care to appear happy and especially to be so." - St. Therese of Lisieux
One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.
Making time for a passion and treating it as a real priority instead of an "extra" to be fitted in at a free moment (which many people practically never have)will bring a tremendous happiness boost.
What you did as a 10 year old or what you do on a free Saturday afternoon is a good indicator of your passion.
Regarding passion, "do what you do" is helpful because it points you to examining your behaviour rather than your self-conception and therefore may be a clearer guide to your preferences.
Tackling a big project and carrying it through to the end of the month contributes hugely to the atmosphere of growth in one's life.
The atmosphere of growth is essential to happiness.
"Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult." - Samuel Johnson
"Nothing can make our lives, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness." - Tolstoy
"agony of exhaustion" - I like that phrase.
"Folks, that was not the fastest action we could have had." GR. funny
Distraction is a powerful mood-altering device.
If I keep resolutions and do the things that make me happier I end up feeling better and acting more virtuously. Do good, feel good. Feel good, do good.
Study what makes you happy and try to apply it to your life.
Transform an unfortunate personal situation into some larger good.
Single most effective step to GR happiness project was to keep her resolutions chart.
Even when I didn't do a perfect job with my resolutions, I did do better, and the more I kept my resolutions, the happier I was.
Difference in goals and resolutions: you hit a goal; you keep a resolution. With resolutions the expectations are different. Each day I try to live up to my resolutions.
The feeling of control is an essential element to happiness, a better predictor of happiness than income.
Recommended reading:
Lulu.com
Man's Search for Meaning. Victor Frankl
Into the Wild, John Krakhauer
Going Gray: What I Learned about Sex, Work, Motherhood,Ann Kreamer
Operating Instructions, Anne Lamott
Traveling Mercies, Anne Lamott
The Summing Up, W. Somerset O'Halloran
Lightening Up: How I stopped smoking, drinking and ..., Susan Shapiro
The No Asshole Rule: Building a workplace..., Robert Sutton
The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, Ben Franklin
Story of a Soul, St Therese of Liseaux
Everything written by Samuel Johnson
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