The Crimson Fucker's Reviews > Fucked by the Lake Monster 2: What Cums Next?

Fucked by the Lake Monster 2 by Brandi Burlington
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's review
Jun 27, 12

Recommended to The Crimson Fucker by: a wise dude!
Recommended for: anybody who likes monster porn!
Read on June 27, 2012

finally! a book that not only manages to satisfy my desire for monster on girl action but also makes me feel like i'm not reading just another freak porn story by adding some scientific research to it!

fuck! i don't think that last statement makes any sense! so try not to think about it and i should it would make some then!

back to the book!

this is what's up! i think Mr/Ms Brandi Burliton its among the few erotic writers who understand that the average goodreader wants more in their erotic novels than gay* looking cowboys holding babies! we want characters we can relate to! like that scientist chick in this book! who finds herself covered in fucking semen! and does she get mad cuz she is covered in semen? no! she don't! she decides to find out from where the semen came from! that's whats up!!!

but i ain't gonna ruin more of the plot for ya! y'all mo fos have to read this shit! to know what real monster porn is all about!!! you will find awesome analogies (the windshield wiper one)!!! awesome "research" moments (the one where the scientist chick its researching bukkake videos online in the name of science!) and weird shit inside vaginae (10 points for me for using the correct latin plural form for vaginas!)!!! and much much more!!! i hope there is another one coming soon!!!!


*not that there is anything wrong with gay!
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Comments (showing 1-30 of 30) (30 new)

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message 1: by Fewlas (new)

Fewlas Monstrum + vaginae.. it might be very interesting :)

The Crimson Fucker it is!!!!!!! want me to send you a copy of it!? i got both the first one and this one!!!!

message 3: by Fewlas (new)

Fewlas Alfonso wrote: "it is!!!!!!! want me to send you a copy of it!? i got both the first one and this one!!!!"

Is it a PDF version?

The Crimson Fucker i['m going to sleep! let me know and if you interested i'll send it tomorrow!

message 6: by Fewlas (new)

Fewlas Alfonso wrote: "i['m going to sleep! let me know and if you interested i'll send it tomorrow!"

Looking forward to receiving these two masterpieces.. Thank you!

The Crimson Fucker Yay! As soon as I get home! Can't wait to read your review!s!

message 8: by Fewlas (new)

Fewlas Alfonso wrote: "Yay! As soon as I get home! Can't wait to read your review!s!"

Can't wait to read them.. I really need some monster porn after Nausea. It may help me to overcome the depression this book is giving me.

The Crimson Fucker Trust me! This will bring sexy back!!! But you writing the review in english!? Right!? My italian sucks!! You told me how to say cheese in skype! And I already forgot!

message 10: by Fewlas (last edited Jun 28, 2012 08:58AM) (new)

Fewlas Alfonso wrote: "Trust me! This will bring sexy back!!! But you writing the review in english!? Right!? My italian sucks!! You told me how to say cheese in skype! And I already forgot!"

Did I? I don't remember this part of the conversation.. You mean cheese the food? Why were we talking about cheese? Of course I'm writing them in English.. only for you, my dear <3

The Crimson Fucker Giulia wrote: "Alfonso wrote: "Trust me! This will bring sexy back!!! But you writing the review in english!? Right!? My italian sucks!! You told me how to say cheese in skype! And I already forgot!"

Did I? I do..."

hahahah! you was really drunk! and i don't remember why i wanted to know how to say cheese! i think we was talking about lasagnas?

message 12: by mark (new)

mark monday please put a shirt on.

The Crimson Fucker mark wrote: "please put a shirt on."

what you don't like my COLORED skin?

message 14: by mark (new)

mark monday i only like blindingly white albino skin. preferably full of blue veins. i suppose i am racist that way.

The Crimson Fucker There is no doubt in mah COLORED mind that you is a racist, mark! But thanks for the confirmation!!

message 16: by mark (new)

mark monday you only talk colored. i am the true brown brother, and i hunt whites for sport. except for the albinos, who i keep in little cages for my personal amusement.

The Crimson Fucker Dude... you can try hiding it anyway you want to... that be politicly correct assholeness.. or trying to play any race card... you are still a condescending, racist asshole.

message 18: by mark (new)

mark monday wait, are you being serious now? cause if so, that is both confusing and hilarious. and if you are... then that is crazy talk. calling me a racist is like calling yourself a man. you know, crazy. up is not down! but calling me condescending, well, true.

if you're not being serious, then... uh, hilarious joke? i suppose

well either way, you're still adorable. don't get all gay on me when i say that i just wanna hug you. c'mon, let's connect.

The Crimson Fucker Ha! And here was I thinking that the Nile was a river in egypt! When is the state you in!

Guahahahahah! So sad! Like a character from a bad SNL bit! The racist asshole who think he ain't no racist!!!

message 20: by mark (new)

mark monday you are being serious! again... ADORABLE!

if you mean racist against whites, then yeah i guess i got a little problem there - but i've been working on it for years and i think i have improved some. i do believe we all can just get along!

otherwise, for real, you of all people, calling me racist is hilarious. you are just about the most sell-out brown person i've ever seen on-line. all you do is create a space where white folk feel comfortable slinging around constant racist & homophobic slurs, yourself included. i get that this is just joking between friends, but is this something that makes you happy? as a fellow brown person (filipino)... it makes me feel sorta sad and embarrassed.

The Crimson Fucker Was that condescending for "Oreo"? Guahahah! Ok! As predicted you just played the race card followed by the "im so better than you" one! Dude! Really!didn't you just said you didn't know what was I talking about? For how long have you ben running youdr defence?? Running scenario after scenario where you cry fault! Again and again and come out as some sort of champions of equality and moderation? I've got some bad news, dude!all you is is a self loathing asshole, suffering from delusions of being the white knight of self-righteousness! Wake up and smell your sad life! Do us all a favor! Put a shot gun on your mouth and pull the trigger!

message 22: by mark (new)

mark monday can you try to be more clear? man Alfonso you are so hard to understand sometimes. anyway, (1) give me examples where i am a racist cause that is still a hilarious accusation; (2) you are still a sell-out. i wouldn't call you an 'oreo', that's a tacky word and i don't believe in it, but maybe uncle tom, kinda? some kinda word that is like that; (3) did you just actually tell me to kill myself? now that is classy; (4) i still think you are super-duper adorable.

The Crimson Fucker As I told you... I agree! It is hilarious! A racist ass who honestly think he ain't a racist!!!! I ain't ruining that joke! the moment you see it you may stop! And that will make the world a sad place!!

Secondly! If you expect me to engage on some bizarre "im darker than you" fight... IDk what to tell you, dude! I ain't a racist! I ain't care!

Thirdly yes, I did! Did the world ended?

And lastly! Nobody can deny how fucking adorable I am!!! Im one sexy beast!!!

message 24: by mark (new)

mark monday hey does your bosom heave when you get all saucy and melodramatic? cause you are really turning me on.

The Crimson Fucker Hahaahahha! Are you know trying to get a homophobic reaction out of me now? Guahahahah! Dude! Im a compliment black hole when it comes to being told im pretty! I don't care if it comes from males or females!! Knock yourself out! I actually like being liked!

message 26: by mark (new)

mark monday homophobic? all i'm saying is that your hysterics are getting me excited. your jaws keep flapping and i keep on thinking of better ways you can use all of that nervous energy.

wait a sec, are you still drunk? cause i'm not into drunk chicks. sober up!

The Crimson Fucker Dude! Im starting to get confuse! And I lose interest when im confused! Its this going to degrade to the point where you just another person (should I say of color? ) with an unhealthy obsession with me? That's cool with me! I enjoy being stalk! Make sure you tell me im pretty, tell me you adore me, and compliment my huge dick!

Also! I don't think id be good a dick sucking! I have the worst gag reflex ever! Brushing my tongue its a fucking nightmare! But im a great kisser!!! So feel free to tell me that too!! Also! I like presents!!

message 28: by mark (new)

mark monday baby don't rush me. here's a present for you in the meantime:


The Crimson Fucker Yay! Its working im turning you into mah bitch!! I like funny pictures! Show me more!

message 30: by mark (new)

mark monday you have a big mouth but i like a mouthy broad.

i just used this one recently, but i'm going to re-gift it to you because you are a special person.


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