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Serpent's Kiss by Melissa de la Cruz
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's review
Jun 28, 12

bookshelves: witches, face-palm
Read from June 21 to 28, 2012

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I feel like I just found out that Santa Claus isn't real and that the Easter Bunny got ran over by a semi.

Yep, that should tell you how disappointed I was with this book. Melissa de la Cruz has published some great books. The Blue Bloods series, for example, just awesome. Grant it, I do understand why people have grown annoyed with them recently, but I do think the last installment was a definite improvement over book five. But this book, this book....

Oh dear lord, it read like one of those House of Night books with some Jar Jar Binks and Charmed thrown in. And okay, I do like Charmed, but this book isn't like when Charmed was good and Phoebe was with Cole not that freaky cupid guy and...okay, I am babbling.

Let's discuss the problems with this book. Probably my biggest problem with this book was the characterization. Let me be honest, in the first book I was really found of one only one of three leads (Ingrid). In this book I don't even like Ingrid anymore. To put it simply, there is some annoying business about Ingrid being a virgin that was used as some weird form of comic relief.

Then there's Freya. A character who I'm suppose to like even though my introduction to her was her cheating on her fiance. But I'm forgetting that she was really suppose to be with her fiance's brother so that's okay too. Besides, Freya there's her mother Joanna who is suppose to be the most mature/mother character out them all. In the first book I found her to be boring. In this book, she was a little bit more interesting, but that doesn't mean I like her. I found a lot of the things she did immature and I honestly wanted to slap her a couple of time. But she was nowhere near as annoying as her son....

Oh, Freddie. You give dumb asses bad names. This is a character that is supposed to be a god. A god who was in limbo for thousands of years and yet is tricked by a weaker god into signing a contract in blood because-hey, that's how contracts are become a legal enforceable document consideration doesn't matter at all.

It's not just his sheer stupidity when it comes to contracts that makes Freddie a virtual idiot. Take the fact that he was obsessing over a girl for most the novel and then he finds out, well, that there are complications. And he just gets over it within the span of five pages-obviosuly, he has not read New Moon.

Pacing in general was a huge issue with the novel. I think it not only negatively effected character development, but the story itself. Things dragged throughout most of the book and when they happened, it honestly felt like the book was on acid. This probably wasn't helped much either since the pixies (who played a relatively major role in this book) reminded me of Jar Jar Binks.

So, with a plot that just dragged and then dramatic things sudden happened and issues were suddenly resolved, it was really hard to just get into the story and explore what sort of things could've been offered in this book.

Best Feature: Norse Mythology: Norse myths are interesting and I don't know a lot about them. Even after reading two of these books. I'm still stating that this is probably the books best feature because it really does make the book unique. But honestly, I probably found out more about Norse mythology from the Thor movie than I did these books. Names and certain aspects of the Norse world are merely skimmed over. Unlike the Blue Bloods series where de la Cruz excels at world building, this series leaves me confused. I just think there were many moments where de la Cruz could've expanded the world building in this book and she just didn't.

Worst Feature: Characterization: Horrible. Just horrible. One of the best things about the Blue Bloods series is it's characters. Although, Schuyler has a tendency to be a little perfect, de la Cruz does make her heroine have faults. And then there's Mimi who I think has to be one of the best and most bitchy characters in YA. The same goes with the romantic leads in these books. But in Witches...the characters don't have any internal logic. Freddie just makes a lot of plain stupid decisions, as does the rest of the cast. Plus, as I said before most of the cast is not likable. This might be in part because some characters who I want to know more about, like Killian, are pushed to the back-burner unless Melissa wants to throw in a raunchy sex scene in a greenhouse.

Appropriateness: This is an adult book and it really should only be read by adults or older teens. There are some pretty raunchy moments. Though the sex scenes aren't explicit, the way they are handled just sort of has me shaking my head. There's some cursing in the book too and some drinking as well.
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Reading Progress

06/21/2012 page 20
06/21/2012 page 41
11.0% "Oh, Ingrid....face palm."
06/22/2012 page 62
16.0% "I was hoping I'd like the characters better second time around. So far, my impressions are still so so. I'm starting to not like Ingrid who was my favorite in the first book." 1 comment
06/23/2012 page 86
22.0% "Book, one of the reasons I can't connect to all the character angst that's going on is because I really don't know the characters."
06/23/2012 page 98
26.0% "WTF is going on with the pacing in this chapter. Greenhouse sex then Freya decides to tell Killian that her brother thinks he's up to no good. Slow down, Melissa please."
06/24/2012 page 130
34.0% "What is wrong with this book? It goes from having sex in inappropriate places to having the big virgin talk complete with looking at porn at the library."
06/24/2012 page 168
44.0% "I like the use of Norse mythology. But something about it's just off. Perhaps it's because Blue Bloods-the series that's connected to this one-relies mostly on Christianity mythology (Paradise Lost) as it's source material and I don't get how the Norse stuff meshes with the Christian stuff. Sigh...."
06/25/2012 page 230
60.0% "Pixies=Jar Jar Binks. That should tell you how much head desk there has been in the past fifty or so pages."
06/25/2012 page 247
64.0% "I get that Christmas can be a secular holiday. Yet, I have a hard time believing that Norse gods and goddesses would be celebrating it. Just saying..." 1 comment
06/25/2012 page 254
66.0% "So now we're resulting to time travel, so that Freya can figure out how to rescue her boyfriend who has practically been non-eistant in the novel anyway. Hmm, maybe instead of going back to the 1600's you could go back to when the bridge fell down and figure out who caused the whole thing to collapse in the first place. Just a thought...Plot holes."
06/26/2012 page 255
66.0% "Ass apparently is a naughty word, who knew?"
06/26/2012 page 259
67.0% "All your employees are male, but you're not sexist? I think the equal employment act would disagree, Mr. Liman."
06/26/2012 page 262
68.0% "Dumb ass Freddie believes that signing an employment contract in blood is standard. Dude, I get you were in limbo, but you've had access to tv and Internet. Get a dealing brain."
06/26/2012 page 272
71.0% "And even more time, wait it's too risky. Seriously, there are episodes of Charmed that make more sense than this."
06/26/2012 page 276
72.0% "Freddie you dumb ass!"
06/28/2012 page 293
76.0% "A marriage contract, seriously? I didn't think this was fan fiction. That's all I'm saying."
06/28/2012 page 307
80.0% "Just realized that I must have a different edition then this one since my copy ends at 316 pages (thank god). But anyway, Freddie=shallow. I can't believe how fast he got over Hilly."
06/28/2012 page 316
82.0% "And done pacing in the last ten pages was whacked."

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